I do love my cat
But she scratches me badly
must have her declawed

I am loving this page
So funny i laugh to tears
think of wife then sad

fell, eh? she.. oh! went
down so hard. thought she had choked,
twas only a gag

her fellas she tricks
makes them go right off their heads....
can't contain themselves ......

(ok it is offbeat maybe even out of whack)

Move right then move left
leather chair won't make another
rich rude sound again

dark brown stain in back
faint yellow stain the front
wash boxers tonight

I nearly died, i
escaped the vaccuum of
big fat nostrils

i like beer alot
it makes me glad when i'm not
except when it's hot

I like beer alot.
It makes me glad when I'm not
Except when it's hot.

sorry can't help it
haiku has a sleeper hold
send this bad verse? yup

reaching for the sky
unrepentent canopy
soon so much woodchip

light jazz bitch at work
her large ass is leaving soon
crank up ministry

good one rant! ketchup
haiku has to be the best
bad haiku ever++++

here I submit Haik!
might as do, there's nothing to
READ! nothing I like!

Burt Reynolds is God
Chewing Gum, Moustache,Glory
That's some fine Chest Hair.

The Japanese make
wonderful sex toys which you
can buy on eBay.

Sex with my wife
Is it really worth the trouble?
No, I'll just spank it.

had to

Wasabi revenge
my ass feels like the back end
of the Batmobile!!!

Carry some whisky
in case of snake bite. Also,
Carry a small snake

If you need Ketchup
shake the bottle. None will come
and then a lot'll

How much Haiku can
people shovel out of shit?
That's where I get mine :)

soft knock on the door
at last! -- eyes widen, then a smile
your breath matches mine

your arrival gift
chocolate covered cherry
all night to enjoy

Life on Tatooine
Moisture vaporator hell
Just one more season

Man that is just gross
You laugh at my tender bum
MAY YOU MUD FAUCET

spoonfeed the burn hole
stuff it with beans, they drip out
shorten the journey

Truth in these moments
I had refried beans for lunch
My poor misused hole

Priest action figure
New in stores, excessively
gay drink included.

Sean had to do it
But somebody already
Set up us the bomb...

I poke at Saint and
Solace, leaving myself wide
Open to their flames

Hello gentlemen!
All your base are belong to us!
I had to do it.....

Now in toy stores! New!
The Solace action figure
With pink ballet shoes!

insipid cold verse
soothing the imbecile and
poking out his eyes

dance the lambada
with my pants full of veggies
until my cuke pops

Tarot cards or no
you will not be bludgeoned by
a blue-assed monkey

Pansy piss bucket
He drives the car pool today
We're going to hell

i like a big ass,
shaking, turning to and fro
Come sit on my face.

I know who flung poo
The man with the stinky hands
He has a firm grip

sango likes the goo
but the goo slot is congealed
into the cheese slot

drip, drip, drip, all night.
It keeps me up tonight, not
the faucet; my ass

inside the goo slot
Paulo's pounding pud plunged pink
skin slick with sex slime

Phlegm, if said right,
Should be two strong syllables
instead of just one.

get the great new toy
a Saint action figure with
whack action button

golly! i hope that
wasn't aimed at me because
it is still coming

they say that shaft is
a bad mutha, shut yo mouth
i'm talkin bout shaft

a complicated
man, no one understands
him but his woman

color copier:
noun: fantastic piece of shit
we'd like to destroy

in and around the
lake, mountains come out of the
sky and they stand there

Yes, the band that did
owner of a lonely heart
yes, their name is yes

A grumble in my throat
lips curl, I spit, my plegm smacks
loudly on your face

A good friend would call
sooner but a great friend like
you always forgives