Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 63 Days and 77460 Haiku later...

loose hubcap rattles
back window doesn't shut right
the heater's broken

ah but the chrome shines
and the v-8 still kicks ass
got nothing to lose
Haiku # 8140, March 26, 2001 8:09 pm ET
by mount modonna mama
loose hubcap rattles
back window doesn't shut right
the heater's broken

ah but the chrome shines
and the v-8 still kicks ass
got nothing to lose
Haiku # 8139, March 26, 2001 8:08 pm ET
by mount modonna mama
ocean state job lot
endless rows of hearts of palm
dusty chocolate hearts
Haiku # 8138, March 26, 2001 7:58 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
new leaves did not come
to the dogwood tree this spring
bare limbs scrape the earth
Haiku # 8137, March 26, 2001 7:56 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
acrid filter smoke
illuminated briefly
by passing headlights
Haiku # 8136, March 26, 2001 7:50 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
nicotine stained
fingernails like a woman
tremulous sickly
Haiku # 8135, March 26, 2001 7:47 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
slippery snot hawkers
waiting for their luck to change
pose at the bus stop
Haiku # 8134, March 26, 2001 7:42 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
workwhistle blows now
it tells me, "go quaff some beer!"
belly smiles, waiting
Haiku # 8133, March 26, 2001 5:47 pm ET
by mondongo of uranus
Everybody run
Grog has returned with Haiku
That is very, very bad!

Though annoying is won
by the Haiku Collective
Can't stand his format.
Haiku # 8132, March 26, 2001 5:16 pm ET
by Grog of Seattle
Implaiku

Insider pizza
(?)
Oh God, it hurts, it ---
Haiku # 8131, March 26, 2001 4:59 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Implaiku

Fingers wedged in tight
(?)
Wendell, fetch my hose!
Haiku # 8130, March 26, 2001 4:58 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Insider Pizza
Wretched cheese on my inside
Struggles to get out

Duct tape covered crotch
You didn't say it was all
Allegorical
Haiku # 8129, March 26, 2001 4:57 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
You don't need those now
Crushed and steaming testicles
Time for your porridge

Seven minute itch
Uncle Hubert touches me
Bring me the bucket
Haiku # 8128, March 26, 2001 4:57 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Open your colon
Now knead it, knead it, Harvey!
Shut your cakehole, NOW!

Eunice, strap it on.
(God has blessed us with six feet)
Sweet mother of Christ!
Haiku # 8127, March 26, 2001 4:56 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Something is wrong now
Help! I cannot hold it is
Poop in my backpack

The tornado came
And knocked the outhose over
So, poop on the wall
Haiku # 8126, March 26, 2001 4:55 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Gross chunks in my mouth
Gagging, retching, throwing up
I hate all new foods

Half asleep, I fart
Lying too close to the fire
The undies are toast
Haiku # 8125, March 26, 2001 4:54 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Goodbye fish and chips
Overwhelmed by ejecta
My steaming pile

fried fish around me
drunk off my ass thrusting fish
into pants: cod piece
Haiku # 8124, March 26, 2001 4:52 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
off to a meeting
my soul is tortured again
maybe they'll serve snacks
Haiku # 8123, March 26, 2001 4:52 pm ET
by freakshow of Austin, Tx
Once you were swimming
I eat fishy, spew fishy
Now you are swimming

Jumbo fish and chips
Seven shots of tequilla
Time for fish 'n chunks
Haiku # 8122, March 26, 2001 4:51 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Are you standing still?
Brace yourself against the post
Evacuation.

Little Swiss Miss
Put me in your chocolate O
Ovaltine love child.
Haiku # 8121, March 26, 2001 4:50 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
Quantum expansion
The Zulu quark gives me the
Quantum ejection

Poke the rubber nun
Communing with Nature Boy
Inspires bigtime fear
Haiku # 8120, March 26, 2001 4:49 pm ET
by Haiku Collective
hot waitress at lunch
ass rolling as she walks by
I am still crying

beautiful women
will never give me a chance
i will die alone
Haiku # 8119, March 26, 2001 1:54 pm ET
by raging johnson of cube farm CTP2E
tied down by children
they get out the whips, the chains,
the candle wax: ouch!
Haiku # 8118, March 26, 2001 11:27 am ET
by MzConGenitalia of lilliput
Every time I pinch
a loaf, I lose 3 plus pounds.
Soon I won't exist.
Haiku # 8117, March 26, 2001 11:25 am ET
by Nan of NJ
Without a woman
thought of mel when showering
AH! sperm everywhere.

(Oh my did I say that out loud?)
Haiku # 8116, March 26, 2001 11:15 am ET
by Saint
While the green grass grows
I ponder the universe
and I defecate

(I couldn't resist!)
Haiku # 8115, March 26, 2001 11:07 am ET
by Solace of MI
yea, i drop a load
since i moved it's easier
toilet has much strength
Haiku # 8114, March 26, 2001 11:04 am ET
by raging johnson of cube farm CTP2E
Gladiator sucked!
Unbreakable should have won
best picture damn it!

Haiku # 8113, March 26, 2001 11:01 am ET
by raging johnson of cube farm CTP2E
while the green grass grows
shoots, slowly silently,
I alliterate.
Haiku # 8112, March 26, 2001 10:59 am ET
by fingerfood of singapore
T'was Unsinkable!
Such was the power of the ice!
It chilled muh whisky.
Haiku # 8111, March 26, 2001 10:57 am ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Wildflowers bloom
Fields of green and full of joy
I walk in the... shit!
Haiku # 8110, March 26, 2001 10:55 am ET
by Solace of MI
captain my captain
wherefore art thou, my captain?
i see an iceberg.
Haiku # 8109, March 26, 2001 10:54 am ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Solace those trucks of
yours, would those be considered
dump trucks? please tell me
Haiku # 8108, March 26, 2001 10:53 am ET
by Saint
Count on my fingers
And add one more to each line.
One pinky too few.
Haiku # 8107, March 26, 2001 10:51 am ET
by fingerfood of singapore
Trucks trucks trucks trucks trucks
How I love to play with them
I just crapped my pants
Haiku # 8106, March 26, 2001 10:51 am ET
by Solace of MI
Please before you start
nibbling on my buttocks let
me finish shitting!
Haiku # 8105, March 26, 2001 10:50 am ET
by Saint
I remember once
watching the endless swirling
I'll miss my poopie
Haiku # 8104, March 26, 2001 10:48 am ET
by Solace of MI
Looking at Oscar
I do wonder, will that fit
in Drophammer's ass?
Haiku # 8103, March 26, 2001 10:43 am ET
by Saint
The stars all gather
I watch in awe and wonder
Is Oscar naked?
Haiku # 8102, March 26, 2001 10:41 am ET
by Solace of MI
Wiping and Wiping
and wiping some more and more
How I hate the runs
Haiku # 8101, March 26, 2001 10:41 am ET
by Saint
Feel the morning dew
Covering our naked Skin
Reminds me of snot
Haiku # 8100, March 26, 2001 10:39 am ET
by Solace of MI
i have no cable
i haven't an antenna
so unconnected
Haiku # 8099, March 26, 2001 10:16 am ET
by thegrue of office, pain
Watching E! Channel
Yesterday's pre-Oscar crap
How lame can I be??
Haiku # 8098, March 26, 2001 10:16 am ET
by Nan of NJ
russell won Oscar
made my heart leap with joy, Yay!
Gladiator rules!
Haiku # 8097, March 26, 2001 9:50 am ET
by hola of in the office. damn.
it is now monday
another week in hell, then
still more weeks of hell
Haiku # 8096, March 26, 2001 9:31 am ET
by raging johnson of cube farm CTP2E
This weekend I had
imagined some good haiku
now they're forgotten
Haiku # 8095, March 26, 2001 9:17 am ET
by Saint
First five syllables
Seven syllables follow
Then five syllables
Haiku # 8094, March 26, 2001 8:59 am ET
by Solace of MI
hidden under chair
crouching to pick up remote
zapping the ads

O oscar oscar
why's it take so bloody long
to play bob dylan?
Haiku # 8093, March 26, 2001 8:24 am ET
by mellie
Crap. It's snowing. Crap.
It's better that it's snowing
than "It's snowing crap!"
Haiku # 8092, March 26, 2001 7:22 am ET
by Nan of NJ
silence on the site
a really big hiatus
it's a bit spooky
Haiku # 8091, March 26, 2001 6:30 am ET
by ash
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