Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 157 Days and 77035 Haiku later...

Janis is the Bomb.
Janis is the unsung Queen.
We've never met her . . .
Haiku # 73445, November 11, 2021 9:31 am ET
by To Ronto of To Oronto Toro Nto
As yet, unconfirmed:
Bad Haiku will be shut down.
Janis converted.
Haiku # 73444, November 11, 2021 9:29 am ET
by To Sunni Islam of Uncle Ben's Condoleeza Rice
Will Janis shut down
the website at twenty-five
years of putrid verse?
Haiku # 73443, November 11, 2021 8:45 am ET
by Would be appropiate. of And life would be better.
Well, actually,
I think that she's a woman.
Never know these days.
Haiku # 73442, November 11, 2021 8:43 am ET
by Your confusion has Confucius confused. of Cuntabulate this!
You're completely whacked.
Because you've been whacking off.
Try the Thai massage.
Haiku # 73441, November 11, 2021 8:38 am ET
by Might I recommend the older woman with the tiger tattoo on her shoulder.
I am a fuzzball.
You are a fuzzball. We are
Fuzzballs. With three breasts.
Haiku # 73440, November 11, 2021 8:18 am ET
by Milkers Cubed of To the power of NO
I identify
As a person whose ID
Is completely whacked.
Haiku # 73439, November 11, 2021 8:15 am ET
by Demi-Boy of Dummy Boy with Tampax Inserted
Plead insanity
and you will surely get off.
I get off all day!
Haiku # 73438, November 11, 2021 7:51 am ET
by blahblahblah
I'm needing a brrrrt.
I found one on the dark web.
Too many spyders.
Haiku # 73437, November 11, 2021 7:48 am ET
by LSD Super Soaker of A fine alternative
Every single bomb
that's been released throughout time
makes one of my farts
Haiku # 73436, November 11, 2021 7:45 am ET
by Delusions of Grandsewer
After a long nap,
blowing out all those boogers
like a machine gun.
Haiku # 73435, November 11, 2021 7:43 am ET
by ratta-tat-tat of splatta-splat-splat
Feed us a fetus.
Charitable carpenter.
He's giving me wood.
Haiku # 73434, November 11, 2021 7:40 am ET
by Thief
Every single fart
that's been released throughout time
would make a fine bomb
Haiku # 73433, November 11, 2021 4:41 am ET
by A way out of here
Verily, oh Blob.
Squeejum Squee, swallow thyself!
Not one soul else will.
Haiku # 73432, November 11, 2021 4:35 am ET
by Well, maybe in Africa.
Pox upon thee, squire.
Methinks all manner of smack
Doth challenge my wit
Haiku # 73430, November 10, 2021 11:49 pm ET
by Elizabethan of Talking Smack
oh go bite your thumb
at someone else, i have to
use mine to do fonz
Haiku # 73429, November 10, 2021 10:26 pm ET
by vhs
Fie! Abort thyself!
Experienced Hoover cowgirl.
Vacuums and stirrups.
Haiku # 73428, November 10, 2021 10:23 pm ET
by Sucking cum, stir up coffee. of One teensy extra silly bool. Didn't know it was in there!
Surely, knave, you jest.
Yet, I shall unsheath my blade,
Lest you play the fool.
Haiku # 73427, November 10, 2021 10:05 pm ET
by Dashing Duellist of Diabolic Dilemma
Assassination:
Assume donkey position...
Ascend. WHOOPS! (ass-end).
Haiku # 73426, November 10, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Assessment Assent Protocols of Burro Hee Haw
Just squeeze out one more.
Fresh, fragrant, dark and steaming:
Another haiku.
Haiku # 73424, November 10, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Haiku Factory of Mass Production
A six-armed idol:
Five for chapatis, curry,
One for the chutney.
Haiku # 73423, November 10, 2021 9:52 pm ET
by What's My Third Eye For? of Asiatic Abominations
Oh ye haiku gods,
Strengthen me this one last time,
To destroy temples.
Haiku # 73422, November 10, 2021 9:48 pm ET
by Freaky Sexy Big-breasted Buddhist of Khajuraho
Noticer, not you.
He/she/it/they "if you tell".
My, its farts do smell.

My life's at its end.
Praise be to Jesus for that.
Pain is getting old.
Haiku # 73421, November 10, 2021 7:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Somewhere over the
Rainbow trout I post something
Slippery and fishy.
Haiku # 73420, November 10, 2021 6:17 pm ET
by Mox
There were no death threats
unless after we French kiss
you get a hairball
Haiku # 73419, November 10, 2021 6:06 pm ET
by starkitten of lair
Do you suppose that
da Vinci's dead fetus will
dance with your dead son?

No, probably not.
I just love instant karma.
And avoid dogma.
Haiku # 73418, November 10, 2021 5:52 pm ET
by I know.
You were aborted.
All of this is just a dream
In your fetal skull.
Haiku # 73417, November 10, 2021 5:48 pm ET
by Vanished Glories of Mitosis
Oh, these silly bulls.
Male bovines in tutus.
Count them, prancing by.
Haiku # 73416, November 10, 2021 5:47 pm ET
by Post-ballet BBQ. of Farmer Bill's Ranch
Your empty death threats,
dog poop, and marijuana
give me a boner.
Haiku # 73415, November 10, 2021 5:39 pm ET
by Fetishists Anonomous of In the jungle, checking my plants.
That would awesome.
Twenty-five years, then kaput.
Should be same for us.
Haiku # 73414, November 10, 2021 5:01 pm ET
by Life beyond 25 is just being greedy.
repent, ye sinners
you syllable miscounters
for the end is nye!
Haiku # 73413, November 10, 2021 4:57 pm ET
by scotch of bill nye, that is, ender of worlds
only two more days
to post all your bad haiku
then this site comes down
Haiku # 73412, November 10, 2021 4:53 pm ET
by scotch of rumor mongering HQ
She didn't do it
I pooped by the birdbath (wag)
i wrote that poem
Haiku # 73411, November 10, 2021 3:52 pm ET
by actual dog of Starkitten
Starkitten, you gotta quit pooping by the bird bath. They don't want to come around any more. Have some mercy on our avian brothers. Besides, if there are no birds, how can you catch and eat them? Go back to your litter box next time.
Haiku # 73410, November 10, 2021 3:40 pm ET
by Friendly defecation advice from your local neighborhood fecal advisor. of Fiscal Fecal, Accounting for Your Poo Since 1961.
Entertain us, entered anus.
Sparrow King, Catatafish.
Lemmiwinks or Lemmy winks.
Haiku # 73409, November 10, 2021 3:37 pm ET
by One Ton Wonton One-eyed-wonder-worm of Give me Motorhead.
I calculated it
There aren't enough hours in the day
to smoke all this weed
Haiku # 73408, November 10, 2021 3:34 pm ET
by Hotbox of haiku
the last haiku was written by a dirty dog
Haiku # 73407, November 10, 2021 3:31 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
He who dies in debt
only lost others' asses,
but still has his own.
Haiku # 73406, November 10, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by The only way to go.
shit by the birdbath
my nose held high in the air
my tail is lowered
Haiku # 73405, November 10, 2021 3:28 pm ET
by written by rez-dawg of Starkitten
Assess your losses:
your assets in arrears. How
you've fallen behind.
Haiku # 73404, November 10, 2021 3:15 pm ET
by Wipe Your Debt of Royal Flush
You should take a break.
Go and Seymour Butts; I did.
Thailand is awesome.
Haiku # 73403, November 10, 2021 2:29 pm ET
by Ass ass in ate was a ten ten.
I'll kill you then tell.
Dance on your fat rotten corpse.
Drug baby insists.
Haiku # 73402, November 10, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by It whispers to me at night. of "Kill the whore! Kill the whore!"
You are a liar!
My cat had killed the rabbit.
Brought it as a gift.
Haiku # 73401, November 10, 2021 2:07 pm ET
by It was tasty!
If you ever tell
I will kill you like I killed
That bunny rabbit.
Haiku # 73400, November 10, 2021 1:10 pm ET
by Uncle Seymour of Leavittown High Security Facility #13
The more people killed,
the more a hero you are.
Animals' revenge.
Haiku # 73399, November 10, 2021 11:23 am ET
by EF!
It's so refreshing.
This game is almost over.
How hateful it's been.
Haiku # 73398, November 10, 2021 7:52 am ET
by Worse than fucking Monopoly on bad acid.
Go out with a bang.
Timothy McVeigh should have.
What would Timmy do?
Haiku # 73397, November 10, 2021 6:04 am ET
by WWTD
i need to go pee
bladder's about to explode
but first, this haiku
Haiku # 73396, November 10, 2021 3:49 am ET
by scotch of would a robot need to go pee
That's impossible.
Neither the pilgrims nor the
Indians were good.
Haiku # 73395, November 9, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by Pokeahotass.
The pilgrims were good.
Squanto had been to Europe.
Don't believe the hype.
Haiku # 73394, November 9, 2021 9:31 pm ET
by Plymouth ROCKS ! of 1620
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