You and your bidet
"enjoy the rest of your day'
as the cashiers say
by Come of Again
Sounds like a nerd name.
How about Chad or Kevin?
Have you seen "Slevin"?
by What's in a name? of Limburger by any other name would smell as foul.
What is it you feel.
If you tell me, I will squeel.
My skin you can peel.
by ... Sounds like Yoda, no?
Morris is a cool name
by Anonymous Poet
Going for a poo.
That's what I'm going to do.
Be thinking of you.
by Toodle Loo. of Guardez l'eau!
Yes, Morris the Cat
When I hear the name
Morris
I get a feeling
by Feeling of Something
Bit early for church.
Too many sins to confess?
Got an early start?
by Father forgive me for this will take awhile.
Underneath the tail
A self cleaning poop car wash
Why can't we do that?
by Wiping required
Nine lines, three haiku.
Nine lives, cheap cat food, Morris.
Fine dine, canned dog stew.
by They really should raise dogs to use in cat food. That would be cool. I'd buy it!
Dog yelps make me drool.
A Pavlovian response.
Chinese lab tech perks.
by Free dog stew after work.
9 lines of blow
by Anonymous Poet
Seven cups of Joe
And I'll have lines of blow
Please make that to go
by Jittery Priest of Sunday morning commute
You say "dog", I drool.
Been in Asia far too long.
I fart oolong.
by Canine is fine like wine.
Cloaca tickler
You have the right to remain
silent. (Bluto did it)
by Ribbit of Frog Pond (grenouilles)
You went bird hunting?
Here's my poultry recipe:
Pheasant under ass.
by budda boom, budda bing.
Dogs startled by farts
chase their tails in circles
Do wolves act like this?
by Curiosities of Canines
Legal cannabis.
China's scheme to bring us down.
Too stoned to fight back.
Ruthless little gooks.
The invasion will be swift.
All crackers will die.
You think it's not true?!
Corona was just the start.
Better nuke them now.
by War is coming, one way or another.
Pigeon on Sunday
Post church bird execution
Squib Featherplucker
by Classy Motherfucker
Artisan meat stick
You are a tasty morsel
Darthcuterie board
by Feeling of Peckish
I do believe that
the most racist restaurant
is Cracker Barrel.
by Aptly named, though.
You are so edgy.
Using the N-word like that.
Jappos would approve.
Isn't it strange how
Asians will hide from the sun
so not to be dark.
Such odd behavior.
Little yellow vampires.
Stealing others' souls.
But their twats are tight
and their prostitutes are cheap.
What more could you ask.
by Racism is awesome!
Waiting room. Bored stiff
Incessantly tumescent
under fluorescents
by Sticky Magazines of Do not remove from waiting room
I have lost again.
Please consume my stinking corpse.
I'm no sore loser.
But please rate my corpse.
On a scale of one to ten,
How was the flavor?
by FleshFetish.com Customer relations department. of Kolkata
All male orgies
are nowhere near as gay as
pumpkin spice latte.
by Meditate on this. You know I speak only of The Truth!
I have won again!
Now to consume the corpses.
Your haiku corpses.
by Haiku as Cannibalistic Competitive Bloodsport
Haiku was once gold.
But through reverse alchemy
Haiku is now lead.
by Weighty and Dull of Elemental Health
Call the S.P.L.C.
Seriously, call them now.
They owe me money.
by Mobutu Sese Seko of Zaire
Hey now, no racism.
Only blacks can say nigger.
And you are not black.
by Yo Shut Up of Bitch, PLEASE
Haiku worse den crack.
Yo, I'm serious, nigger...
Haiku get you HIGH.
by Dave Chapelle of Not a White Person Using the N-word
Monsieur, je vous dis
Que vraiment vous etes un con
Entre tous les cons.
by Louis le Roi-soleil of Fontainebleau (still looking for my head)
Janis, Janis, HELP !
They are being mean to me.
Please censor them, please!
by Poetry of Victimization
We had to spay her.
We didn't want the Rockettes
in our living room.
by High Kicking Beauty of Radio City
About that pet rock:
Mine was from the rock shelter.
We toilet-trained her.
by Gimme Shelter of Rape Murder
Satan is a ghost.
Ghost of a long-dead insect.
And an algorithm.
by Diabolic Cybernetix of Intertoobs
Old devil is BEAT!
Ha ha ha satan has lost.
That's what makes you mad.
by Praising the Lord Jesus While You Read This and He is LORD of LORDS !!!!!
Did you ever hear
Lux Interior of Cramps
Sing "Surfin' Bird" live?
by Cultural Zenith of Occidental Society
Mom, I just can't stop.
Can't stop counting syllables.
More Ovaltine, please!
by Voice from my Radio of But it is turned off...
The Anasazi
Mogollon and Hohokam
And all of their gods
by Archeology of Forgot the Flaked Point
Do not change your sex.
It will be hard to shop for
Underwear and stuff.
by Certain Surgery Clinic In Trinidad CO
There are two genders.
Just two. That means only two.
As in not more than.
by Thorry About That Thweety
Jesus loves haiku!
I know because He told me.
We shall all wear crowns.
by Haiku Heaven of Barkin' like a Rooster, Shoutin' and Stompin' the Devil
Sunday morning.
Get thee to a nunnery.
But leave Darth at home.
by Haiku Reminder of Vatican Secret Council
Chaka Shandara
Babakila Hungawa
Raboboboga
by Your Friendly Local Hysteric Pentecostal
Stars can't stay married.
What on earth is their problem...
Is it due to their
by Being Egotistical Narcissists?
Ah shore does love them
fresh Garfinkels an' cornpone
With some hog side-meat.
by Uncle Cletus of Rockin' on ma Front Porch
The Sounds of Silence
Bridge Over Troubled Water:
I LOVE the Monkees!
by Carrie Fisher of Calling 911 from my Mansion on Drugs
We walked in silence
That is, until I farted
And that's when you screamed
by Gendarme! Gendarme!! of France
Robot vagina
How come you smell like a trout?
Big metal fish lips
by No dust of No rust
Mechanical Turk
Pays one cent for each haiku
if they're about poop
by Career Counselor of Old Willow Employment Agency
Are you a Simon?
Or more of a Garfunkle?
Report back to me
She had a pet rock
Was it beastiality?
That's what the song means
Central Park squirrel
Simon and Garfunkle fuck
He buries his nuts
by Noticer of details
