Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 199 Days and 76494 Haiku later...

"plays with a monkey"
That pretty much sums it up.
Or: "plays with a pig"
Haiku # 72576, October 12, 2021 12:57 pm ET
by Calif Usman of Mecca and Medina
Darth tries very hard
to be both rude and evil.
But he is just stuck.
Haiku # 72575, October 12, 2021 12:40 pm ET
by Stuck Pig of Poetry
Smoke tea, daddy-o!
Get hip to some swingin' verse.
Wear black turtleneck.
Haiku # 72574, October 12, 2021 12:34 pm ET
by A. Ginsberg's Corpse of OM AHA
Count Lautreamont
Already covered those themes.
Go read "Maldoror".
Haiku # 72573, October 12, 2021 12:30 pm ET
by Andre Breton's Umbrella
About your book, Darth . . .
I would not PAY to read it,
but for free, maybe.
Haiku # 72572, October 12, 2021 12:29 pm ET
by Internet Star for 7 seconds
I like limmericks.
They're more lively than haiku.
And they are ALL bad.
Haiku # 72571, October 12, 2021 10:55 am ET
by ??? of Well, this ain't no Irish pub, damn it all.
Which do you prefer?
Waffles with maple syrup,
biscuits and gravy?
Haiku # 72570, October 12, 2021 10:50 am ET
by Or maybe both!
FaceBook going down.
Just like a whore in Manila.
Not that I would know.
Haiku # 72569, October 12, 2021 10:45 am ET
by Ahem.
Dragging on sessions.
Extending the time beyond.
All about money.
Haiku # 72568, October 12, 2021 10:42 am ET
by The real purpose of haiku! of So now you know.
So many choices!
And we ask what your name is.
Five dollar price hike.
Haiku # 72567, October 12, 2021 10:38 am ET
by But you feel special, yes? of Pot pie with happy ending, just like that movie.
Would you like whole wheat
or just plain flour for crust?
Do you feel special?
Haiku # 72566, October 12, 2021 10:34 am ET
by You should!
We have all pot pies.
Turkey, beef, pork, octopus.
Just like gram gram made.
Haiku # 72565, October 12, 2021 10:21 am ET
by Made with real pot! of No synthetic cannibis in our pot pies!
Do you like pot pies?
You can order them online.
Half hour or free.
Haiku # 72564, October 12, 2021 10:08 am ET
Sometimes I like tea.
Chai tea with milk and sugar.
I'm so enlightened.
Haiku # 72563, October 12, 2021 10:01 am ET
by Ohhhmmmmm... and stuff.
I find no info
about Tom Bosley's penis
anywhere online.

This is a problem.
How can we replicate it
without any pics?

We can rob his grave.
Yes, the penis had rotted.
But there's DNA!

We'll clone Tom Bosley.
Thousands of Tom Bosley clones!
And we'll whore them out.

But... what if it's small?
It's a huge risk we're taking.
It's all for science.
Haiku # 72562, October 12, 2021 9:59 am ET
by I hope you're right about this. of My clone tanks are ready.
Order a dildo.
Life size Tom Bosley penis.
And shut the hell up.

You're more into it
than I am about good cheese.
You know that it's true.

"Tom Bosley's penis."
"Tom Bosley's penis again."
"Tom Bosley's penis."

Here's what you can do.
Buy a large block of edam.
Carve a life-like schlong.

It isn't dick cheese.
So I guess it's a cheese dick.
Just like a poet.
Haiku # 72561, October 12, 2021 9:47 am ET
by Me so funny!... smelling.
Is five syllables. So is
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 72560, October 12, 2021 12:44 am ET
by Undung Hero
I spelled it like geese
but that was autocorrect
I beg your pardon
Haiku # 72559, October 11, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
How's tricks Figpucker?
What's going on over there
in the Philippines?
Haiku # 72558, October 11, 2021 11:34 pm ET
by I've argued with most of the employeese of customer service over there
I don't mind drug ads.
But why can't they be good drugs?!
LSD and shit!
Haiku # 72557, October 11, 2021 10:45 pm ET
by Take that psych ward shit and shove it up your ass.
I just love your YouTube channel
Haiku # 72556, October 11, 2021 9:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
David's off his meds
Someone fucked a wheel of cheese
up in Latvia
Haiku # 72555, October 11, 2021 9:54 pm ET
by Fat Paycheck of Wheel of Misfortune
Haiku # 72554, October 11, 2021 7:57 pm ET
by Davidligma of Latvia
Where are you beatniks?
I'll be waiting over here
you gone daddy-o
Haiku # 72553, October 11, 2021 7:28 pm ET
by Jack Haikurouac of Lowell, MA
When the seagull shits
and whenst the eagle doth shit
Remember these words
Haiku # 72552, October 11, 2021 5:40 pm ET
by Bird Shit! of The Future
There's too much conflict.
Do you think there will be war?
China, I'd suspect.
Haiku # 72551, October 11, 2021 2:10 pm ET
by I'm almost hoping.
Sodomy, no thanks.
Nothing wrong with selling slaves.
Plunder and pillage.

Yo ho ho and stuff.
Fly the old Jolly Roger.
Black powder cannons.

But don't stand too close.
You'll singe your eyebrows right off.
Just like Asian girls.

But no sodomy!

My girl's twat is deep and wide.
I can damn near fit my arm inside.
I'm sure her butt's a better fit.
But I'm not into fucking shit.
Haiku # 72550, October 11, 2021 2:05 pm ET
by Onward, laddies! Take that nuclear sub! of Yarrrr!!!
Good advertising.
Antidepressant meds on
a poetry site.
Haiku # 72549, October 11, 2021 1:42 pm ET
by Genius, really.
Haiku # 72548, October 11, 2021 9:33 am ET
by Davidligma of Latvia
Haiku # 72547, October 11, 2021 4:52 am ET
by Richardwaf of Slovakia
Haiku # 72546, October 11, 2021 4:50 am ET
by Richardwaf of Slovakia
That Friends episode
Darth orders fancy coffee
Plays with a monkey
Haiku # 72545, October 10, 2021 9:23 pm ET
by Noticer of tv worth watching
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От всей души Вам всех благ!
Haiku # 72544, October 10, 2021 8:02 pm ET
by Andreaskfv of Cambodia
sodomy and rum
that's the pirate's life for you
also, the slave trade
Haiku # 72543, October 10, 2021 6:55 pm ET
by scotch
In our horror movie
We're at the poet's cabin
vhs grabs axe

Darth in the kitchen
Facing backwards, eating cheese...
Yowl of Starkitten
Haiku # 72542, October 10, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by An eerie silence
Balut-o did it
Balut-o did it (frog croaks)
Balut-o did it
Haiku # 72539, October 10, 2021 12:39 pm ET
by Balut-o did it of Balut-o did it
Usability Study
Receive Amazon gift cards
for reviewing dinks
Haiku # 72538, October 10, 2021 12:09 pm ET
by Work from the comfort of your own home
Got lost in Dead zone;
You know...the Grateful Dead zone.
Need a shower now.
Haiku # 72536, October 9, 2021 6:30 pm ET
by To rinse off demons and Patchouli oil
The episode
Darth helps Jan Brady with math
and stays for dinner
Haiku # 72535, October 9, 2021 6:24 pm ET
by Mrs. Brady could I please get more cheese? of Table
Do you like nature?
Have you ever fucked a tree
Like right in the trunk?
Haiku # 72534, October 9, 2021 6:19 pm ET
by Lichen of Growing on you
Friends with benefits
and friends with the Benedicts strings attached
Haiku # 72533, October 9, 2021 6:16 pm ET
by Mouthful of Jimmy Dean
I know you're real busy
fucking a giant sea snail
but write some haiku!
Haiku # 72532, October 9, 2021 6:11 pm ET
by Looking for Mr. Figbar
My work's at the Louvre
An abstract study in brown
Oops, I meant the Loo
Haiku # 72531, October 9, 2021 6:08 pm ET
by Won't you come on up and see my etchings of fun sized penises?
water colors made me burp.
Haiku # 72530, October 9, 2021 5:34 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
acrylic made me laugh
Haiku # 72529, October 9, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Noticer
Saturnalia much?
So you mean you are Saturn...
and not Uranus?
Haiku # 72528, October 8, 2021 11:28 pm ET
by Christ was born in February of Ask a Rabbi
December two five
Mark it on your calendar
My fucking birthday
Haiku # 72527, October 8, 2021 9:14 pm ET
by Jesus
Fuck scotch in its ass!
Rum -- the original grog!
Scotch is golfers piss.
Haiku # 72526, October 8, 2021 8:34 pm ET
by Release the Kraken! of And Coke and ice.
Listen to Clara!
That's Clara the samba queen.
The hell wrong with you?
Haiku # 72525, October 8, 2021 8:24 pm ET
by Orixa of Yemanjaa
"kick the ball, fucker"
- dad at my kid's soccer game
(oh, his kid's "Tucker")
Haiku # 72524, October 8, 2021 6:15 pm ET
by scotch of shouldn't have cursed him out
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