Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 340 Days and 72810 Haikus later...

You have not answered.
No one has said anything.
There's not even spam.
Haiku # 70950, July 15, 2021 9:33 pm ET
by I feel so alone in this world!
I was a hippie.
Not very patriotic.
Had quite the lice nest.

But how are Skrunch bars
exactly patriotic?
I'm dying to know.
Haiku # 70949, July 14, 2021 9:37 pm ET
by A home for fleas, a hive for the buzzing bees. A nest for birds, there ain't no words. For the beauty, splendor, the wonder of my hair.
You sillyass bot
Cutting and pasting that text
To bore us to tears
Haiku # 70947, July 14, 2021 5:32 pm ET
by Spift James of BARBADASS
Sounds delicious
Never get candy here
I'm always hungry
Haiku # 70944, July 13, 2021 9:46 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I recall those days:
Strong patriotic families...
Figpucker knows best!
Haiku # 70943, July 13, 2021 9:28 pm ET
by Darth of Crew-cut Cold Warrior
I might consider
stopping haiku if I could
get a Super Skrunch.
Haiku # 70942, July 13, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Voices in my head
have gone on strike demanding
I give up haiku.
Haiku # 70941, July 13, 2021 9:08 pm ET
by Fuck 'em. of I am the evil one, they try to make me stop.
I found the info.
It's "Super Skrunch" and "Oompas".
You remember, right?
Haiku # 70940, July 13, 2021 9:05 pm ET
by I'd trade my dad's Playboys for one of those!
A Golden Ticket
Looks like we both found one, Darth
See you on the tour
Haiku # 70939, July 13, 2021 9:01 pm ET
by Starkitten
Remember the old
Willy Wonka chocolates
from 40 years back.
Haiku # 70938, July 13, 2021 8:58 pm ET
by They were pretty damn good. of Can't find them now.
The poems found here
The handiwork of Satan
Keep up the good work!
Haiku # 70937, July 13, 2021 5:50 pm ET
by Long Haul Trucker of Jug Pissing
Voices in his head
dictating each syllable
He tossed out his meds
Haiku # 70936, July 13, 2021 5:45 pm ET
by Escaped Patient of Backless examining gown
Frank Sterb, paisano.
Usted baila merengue
Como un robot.
Haiku # 70935, July 13, 2021 4:52 pm ET
by Mangú of CIBAO
He pulls out Werther's
Farts escape his tired butt cheeks
Each fart a haiku
Haiku # 70934, July 13, 2021 4:39 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
Yes, old man; correct.
Everything is all broken.
And keeps getting worse.
Haiku # 70933, July 13, 2021 2:12 pm ET
by Blame God and Blotzman. of 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.
Not funny no more
Reality is the joke
Broken, not woken
Haiku # 70932, July 13, 2021 1:44 pm ET
by Vhs

excellent publish, very informative. I'm wondering why the opposite experts of this sector don't realize this. You must proceed your writing. I'm confident, you have a great readers' base already!
Haiku # 70930, July 13, 2021 4:37 am ET
by FrankSterb of Dominican Republic
Gust of wind whispers
What would you like for breakfast?
I'll blow dry your balls
Haiku # 70929, July 12, 2021 8:54 pm ET
by Farts of packed in concentrated mackerel juice
Capitalist dogs!
America will soon fall!
Starbucks Coffee too!

You ask which country??!!
The United States, of course!
I don't mean Brazil!

Look, you idiot.
I know America is BIG.
North and South, yeah so.

Jesus, get a life.
Can't I even post Commie
Propaganda here?!
Haiku # 70928, July 12, 2021 7:57 pm ET
by The Marxist Brothers
Don't get worked up, Darth
There is no real ex wives club.
We'd still have at you
Haiku # 70927, July 12, 2021 7:49 pm ET
by Darth is Love of Old Willow Nature Cult
did you notice that
my non-existent undies
are impervious

Haiku # 70926, July 12, 2021 7:48 pm ET
by And many other great words. of I have the best words. Amazing words. Fantastic words. You won't find better words.
Go back and read the
Nineteen-ninety-seven posts.
Guess which ones are mine.
Haiku # 70925, July 12, 2021 7:41 pm ET
by You filthy slut biscuit of 90% pork gravy.
Will Janis help her?
The IP address log book.
I don't fucking care.
Haiku # 70924, July 12, 2021 7:37 pm ET
by I may be a pervert, but of course all child molesters should die! Depopulate the planet starting with them.
I am offended.
All this SPAM could feed millions.
If it were real SPAM.
Haiku # 70923, July 12, 2021 7:33 pm ET
by I think Janis gave up. of My ex is busy collecting all the poems I post on here to use in divorce court, the stupid psycho slut.
When a whore asks me
"What would you like for breakfast?"
That's a good feeling.
Haiku # 70922, July 12, 2021 7:27 pm ET
by Eggs over easy, toast, and coffee. of Anywhere that chickens lay eggs.
Penis tuxedoes
Why you dashing, dapper dinks!
Pardon, they're penquins
Haiku # 70920, July 12, 2021 6:04 pm ET
by Jerker of Turtles
The red popsicle:
A hammer and popsicle
Frozen commie treat
Haiku # 70918, July 12, 2021 1:33 pm ET
by Leon Lenin of ARKANGELSK
The popsicle's gone
Victims of power outage
Those little poets!
Haiku # 70917, July 12, 2021 6:30 am ET
by Hurry up, Darth of Crank out some more
I want in on that
Octopus Hug-a-thon
Ladies get Free Drinks
Haiku # 70916, July 12, 2021 5:48 am ET
by Noticer of Seashells of Dlver Down
I just figured out
I was writing here way back
in ninety-seven.
Haiku # 70915, July 12, 2021 4:28 am ET
by Jesus, I'm old.
I to you will remember it! I will pay off with you!
Haiku # 70912, July 12, 2021 3:28 am ET
by Scottylox of Kyrgyzstan
You commit an error. I can defend the position. Write to me in PM, we will talk.
Haiku # 70911, July 12, 2021 3:26 am ET
by Kevinarcaw of Turkey
Vasectomy, yes.
I have a sperm popsicle
to repopulate.

Just imagine it.
A billion new Figpuckers
after World War III.

If you don't eat it,
high one night after Netflix.
Frozen protein treat.
Haiku # 70910, July 12, 2021 2:10 am ET
by Lord Figpucker of Sith happens.
You told me you did
a self vasectomy, Darth
I just see a dick
Haiku # 70908, July 12, 2021 12:25 am ET
by Figpucker Ex Wives Club of All his exes give him hexes
I bought your children
Turns out they are sea monkeys
Haiku # 70907, July 12, 2021 12:22 am ET
by Noticer of Fukushima Fuckers
I sold my children.
Now I live under a bridge.
Huffing paint thinner.

It's a better life.
But now I have no excuse
to play at playgrounds.

What was I thinking?
This world's full of dirty whores.
I'll just make some more.
Haiku # 70906, July 12, 2021 12:14 am ET
by Planned Parenthood. of In The Rear.
Try Ben & Jerry's
"Cherry Garcia" ice cream
after opium.

It's like finding God.
First you have to fight dragons.
Then raped by Care Bears.
Haiku # 70905, July 12, 2021 12:06 am ET
by Rainbow marshmallow cream.
Bob Dylan will burn!
So will Jerry Garcia.
Goddamn drug culture.
Haiku # 70904, July 11, 2021 9:51 pm ET
by Old school fuddy duddy fusspot conservative.
So was Dylan saved?
Or another crypto-Jew...
It makes you wonder.
Haiku # 70903, July 11, 2021 9:10 pm ET
by Robbie Zimmerman of DULUTH
"Clusters of black holes"
pops up in my Google feed.
Relevant to me?
Haiku # 70902, July 11, 2021 8:23 pm ET
by Oh, yeah, I get it now.
Noticer is quite
the prophalactic poet.
Sterile, large volume.
Haiku # 70901, July 11, 2021 7:22 pm ET
by And covers everything.
That means real haiku.
Boner pill and sex chat spam,
that stuff doesn't count.
Haiku # 70900, July 11, 2021 7:17 pm ET
by So, about 65K haiku now of 935000 haiku to go. Noticer can do that in a week.
I cannot decide.
Quantity or quality.
Poop pee fart boogers.
Haiku # 70899, July 11, 2021 7:13 pm ET
by We have to get it up to 1M haiku of before Janis pulls the plug.
The matchless message, is interesting to me :)
Haiku # 70898, July 11, 2021 2:39 pm ET
by CarlosFub of Switzerland
aye bonnie covid
here we are back in loch doon
and it's groundhog day
Haiku # 70896, July 11, 2021 6:48 am ET
by ash
Darnell Figpucker
seated at his abacus
A load in his pants
Haiku # 70894, July 11, 2021 2:45 am ET
by Do I have to go to school, mom? of Math Class stinx
Sorry for taking
Your wallet and credit cards
after you passed out
Haiku # 70893, July 11, 2021 2:37 am ET
by Don't even think of calling the police
My apologies
Sorry about all of this
I beg your pardon
Haiku # 70892, July 11, 2021 2:32 am ET
by Paula G.
Now all is clear, many thanks for the information.
Haiku # 70891, July 11, 2021 1:31 am ET
by DarnellVIamp of Sri Lanka
I drive trucks long haul
Naturally, I piss in jugs
They dot the highways
Haiku # 70890, July 10, 2021 11:52 pm ET
by Amber Waves of Piss
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