Man at the checkout
“Can you scan this salami?”
“I came in with it!!”
by Eyewitness of He wasn’t shoplifting
Fun gondola ride
Alimentary Canal
Shit, there’s the anus
by Name withheld of Tourist Trap
Just like that, he's back
Sticky trail in the cheese aisle
Galloping Gourmet
by Fan of Gentle Darth of Not at King Soopers loaded for bear
Sentient organs
of dead B-actors remain
alive through dark arts.
Blood replenishing
Red Cross inappropriate
misappropriate.
Grafted to a mouse.
Mister Garrison's penis
craves cheese fromunda.
Fromage fromunda
in Whole Foods deli section.
Lost my train of thought.
Kicking that dead horse.
Methinks Tom Bosley's penis
has jumped the great white.
by Carolina Reapers rubbed on your boner. of Might be fun. Give it a try.
What the hell is this?
Where the heck did it come from?
How did it happen?
by Tom Bosley's penis and aquarium cleaning service.
All white girls agree.
Tyrone, please pull up your pants.
We see your skid marks.
by How did that pants half down shit ever become a fad?! of Are they still doing that?
All yall so STOOPID.
Gone on bout all yall HAIKU.
Talking SMACK, thass all.
by Tyrone of Tha Poetic Streetz
Relieve the pig sty.
Fleas, tit jizz maul thy half cleft...
Hell, shat on my punz
by 300% of your brain malfunctions of The rest is Velveeta and Oscar Mayer bologna on Rainbow bread.
Believe the big lie.
Please, it is all I have left....
Well, that and my gunz
by 3% of my brain functions...the rest is porno and Marlboros
Believe the big lie.
Please, it is all I have left....
Well, that and my gunz
by 3% of my brain functions...the rest is porno and Marlboros
Say that she is dead.
And the SPAM will disappear.
It works like a charm.
by Bad Haiku will outlive the human race. of Still maintained by Overfiend Jahnuus, thr Demon of Spells... or something
Look into his eyes
Abe Vigoda is sexy
and hung like a horse
by Willing and Abe-l of Autopsy Table
That kid on Kindle
with a book, under the tree
A young VHS
by Y.R. Thepagesstucktogether of Legends of Bad Haiku
I feel a sudden
Kinship to Abe Vigoda
I'm simply not dead
by Janis of Right here on the chesterfield.
The question posed,
"Has bad haiku jumped the shark?"
Ya, in the 90s.
by Janis of I was here first
Looks like Janis died.
The spammers will now rejoice.
And post all day long.
by If not dead, then raptured.
I like eating pets.
But only if they're not mine.
Can't eat my leeches.
by Well, I COULD, but that would be psychotic.
I don’t eat salmon
Maybe it’s because I once
had one for a pet
by gatita estrella of catnip galaxy
DC should be called
Dogshit Incorporated,
and not "Washington".
Say hi to the trees.
And the chipmonks and critters.
And potheads and freaks.
Oy vay, already!
Now I'm craving salmon lox
on toasted bagel.
by Seattle... remember the 6 foot bong, remember it too well. of And girls giving us ice cream. :-)
No, the other one
Torching one with Bigfoot now
Pacific Northwest
by gatita of Litter pan
Washington? DC?!?!
Knew I smelled something in here!
Illegal. Always.
by it's no fun unless it's felony.
Hibiscus tea, please
I'm always in the catnip
Legal...Washington
by Gatita Estrella of In the nip
I prefer coffee.
So is tea your cup of tea?
Or just tequila?
by What's your favorite legal stimuli?
It's hanging leftwise.
A bit swollen and blackened.
Road head on dirt road.
by Bad idea. of But getting better. Next time I'll pull over.
Take careful notes here.
You can use these things in court.
After you are dead.
by Electrocute my ass. of Feed me to the pigs.
Otis Firefly.
Here to do the Devil's Work.
Because like, why not?
People who should die:
Those who say "it's not my job".
Get off your fat ass!
by BifurcatingPoo
Not my cup of tea
But how’s it hanging old Darth?
Unload some poems
by Ms. Gatita Estrella of Under old willow
Hannibal Lecter
feeding that guy his own brain
is pure awesomeness.
by Gives me a stiffie just thinking about it. of How about you?
I like beef jerky.
Best if it's really spicy.
I bet bison is good.
by Some things I miss.
Consumed by hatred,
thoughts of torture fill my dreams.
Their screams are music.
by blow torches and grinding wheels.
Beat a man to death.
Not for race or religion.
But for his poems.
by nevermind the beatings, just straight to burning at the stake. of And then we'll have steak. Or long pork chops.
Haiku Telethon!
Time for a tympani, Ed's Ghoul
We can beat haiku!
by Special Guest of Vitalis
Buy The Nug Smasher
Save time crumbling up your nugs
You won't regret it
by This has been of a paid promotional advertisement
Lloyd's of London
Million dollar policy
Your dink is insured
by Thinking of everything of Got you covered
The Diagnosis
I'm afraid what we have here
is MicroPenis
by Floppy Disk of MicroSoft
When the meat’s devoured
Cannibals ponder dessert
Then feast on your soul
by Clean Plate Award Recipient of Clean Plate Award Ceremony
Human so tender
Meat falling off the bone
when you twist the arm
by I’m Full
Here is a question
Why can't people eat people
Could be delicious
by Hamburger helper
Listened to conch shell.
"... car's extended waranty..."
And then I smashed it.
by Tom Hanks on an island. of Still can't get cast away far enough.
Stereophonic,
smelling like a pimp's bathrobe,
drops beets into soup.
by Here, sign this contract.
Poetry gizzard
Sold to the highest bidder!
Cassowary Bird!
by Auctioneer of Kudzu, Athens, GA
I know how you feel....
Like the world is against you.
Harvest your organs
Soon after you die
Sell them to some rich people
With bad genetics
by They can't harvest your pianos, so....
Poets are sexy
Ramming all the syllables
in such a tight space
by Putting the dick of in dictionary
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
He's pacing the hall
like an expectant father
Just needs a good shit
by Change of underwear of Amendment to his constitutional #2! #2!
Green Anaconda
Tell me, are you the biggest
snake in the whole world?
by No mention of Dinks in this haiku
These burning questions
Does haiku contain demons?
Are these haiku real?
by Please advise
I stopped noticing
the smell of my own rank farts
when you outranked me
by 2nd Place of Fart Coliseum
Tom Bosley’s warm load
Did you happen to notice
the heat of the meat?
by Angle of Dangle
i stopped posting here
and stopped watching the words
i stopped noticing
by moxie
