Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I bet Janis has
regrets for making this site
when she reads this shite.
Haiku # 69426, January 6, 2021 5:16 am ET
by Twat waffles, biskitz and groovy.
Where would you go now
if you were able to fly?
Right into the sun?
Haiku # 69425, January 6, 2021 5:13 am ET
by That's what I thought.
Red is my color.
I might let you borrow it.
Until then, hands off.

You shouldn't hate God.
He gave unto us Rainbows.
Without which, no gays.
Haiku # 69424, January 6, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Irridescant effervescant irrelevant elephant
The top ten fleshlights
are made out of human flesh.
Jeffrey Dahmer knew.
Haiku # 69423, January 6, 2021 5:06 am ET
by Dual purpose sex snacks.
Green ejaculate
Generate guacamole
Taco overflow
Haiku # 69422, January 6, 2021 3:55 am ET
by Taco Belle of Drive thru is open
Blow jobs and hand jobs
and Social Security
Do these jobs count? Help!
Haiku # 69421, January 6, 2021 3:51 am ET
by Working myself of To the bone
Consumer Reports
We rate the top ten fleshlights
By Darth Figpucker
Haiku # 69420, January 6, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Ralph Nader getting a blow job of Driving off a cliff ( We're having a great time)
There is no schizm.
These political isms
are all just jism.
Haiku # 69419, January 6, 2021 12:21 am ET
by The dried up wads of Jimi Hendrix, Ralph Nader, and Richard Nixon's dog.
Head on collision
They're all decapitated
Head off collision
Haiku # 69418, January 6, 2021 12:19 am ET
by Noticer of Details of At the scene
Georgia to DC:
Fake Left/Right dichotomy
Prepares US for woe
Haiku # 69417, January 5, 2021 6:26 pm ET
by You Are Brainwashed
Tickle Me Elmo.
Quality control worker.
Doing test tickles.
Haiku # 69416, January 5, 2021 5:43 pm ET
by Bad Dad Jokes, Inc.
I don't want to fly.
I'd much rather teleport.
Is that a thing yet?
Haiku # 69415, January 5, 2021 5:18 pm ET
by It should be!
My nipples aren't peirced.
Should I correct this problem?
What says vhs?
Haiku # 69414, January 5, 2021 5:15 pm ET
by One old fart to another.
Fart, flatus, break wind,
trouser trumpet, contribute
to global warming.

Step on a frog, toot,
reverse belch, burrito ghost,
bleed the pressure valve.
Haiku # 69413, January 5, 2021 5:00 pm ET
by George Carlin of The stage in the sky.
Librarian fart
No shush, naturally silent
Only time they smile
Haiku # 69412, January 5, 2021 3:49 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Book Drop slot
Lipstick on his collar
The dog has been unfaithful
but still got a bone

Poop stains
Haiku # 69411, January 5, 2021 3:43 pm ET
by Haikufucious of Under old willow
Don't rely on me
You will be disappointed
Just do it yourself
Haiku # 69410, January 5, 2021 3:35 pm ET
by Disappointingly unreliable individual of Barstool
Free advertising
For a good time anytime
Farts are like WiFi
Haiku # 69409, January 5, 2021 3:32 pm ET
by Advertising Executive of Toilet seat
Chameleon now.
Become the color you touch.
Or it becomes you.
Haiku # 69408, January 5, 2021 10:28 am ET
by I have no fucking idea what that means. of Urinal stall graffiti.
a fart diary
beats a fart diarrhoea
by quite a few runs
Haiku # 69407, January 5, 2021 7:46 am ET
by ash
Every time I fart
I record the time and smell
in my fart scrapbook
Haiku # 69406, January 5, 2021 7:33 am ET
by Noticer of Details
I'm not really here.
I'm visiting somewhere else.
I think you knew that.
Haiku # 69405, January 5, 2021 6:35 am ET
by Please come and join me. of Maybe I'll dance.
Tiramisu cake.
Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream.
Bananas Foster.

Bring me my dessert.
You can forget the main course.
I'm too old for that.
Haiku # 69404, January 5, 2021 6:32 am ET
by Ice cream off a sexy whore's tits. of Because Mr. Rogers said to live life to its fullest.
What is my real name?
What my parents first called me?
Shout it out, you cunt!

Scream it you fat whore!
You fucking stinky pig twat!
You disgusting slut!
Haiku # 69403, January 5, 2021 6:25 am ET
by I'm just joking. of Let's get ice cream.
Murder isn't bad.
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
Orange sherbet is gross.
Haiku # 69402, January 5, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Why Cashews???? of Ummm... I don't know where abouts this is.
It's all about me.
So I buy silly t-shirts.
My dog will wear them.
Haiku # 69401, January 5, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Chix love that. of Local park.
I'll make a monster.
I've grown to dislike Jello.
My ankle itches.
Haiku # 69400, January 5, 2021 1:58 am ET
by What's my name?! of Say it bitch!!!
Christmas is over.
Turn off that fucking music.
Play some Black Sabbath.
Haiku # 69399, January 5, 2021 1:22 am ET
by Barney the Dinosaur. of Teletubbies house getting high.
Eating beef and rice.
Old shoe leather with garlic.
Cappuccino's good.
Haiku # 69398, January 5, 2021 1:18 am ET
by Buck Naked Rogers of Future launch pad of NWO Space Force.
A major break in.
You know the underwear gnomes?
Huge disappointment.
Haiku # 69397, January 5, 2021 1:11 am ET
by Tweek of Down with Starbucks!
Fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa Fart
Haiku # 69396, January 4, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by G. Yurassismelli of lighting a match
Uderwears is dumb
I am also commando
Don't stand downwind though
Haiku # 69395, January 4, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by I.Stink of Back door
So what was in those
Funereal envelopes?
Blackmail or summons?
Haiku # 69394, January 4, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by Aleister Crowley's Ugly Niece
Love them ripe peaches.
Low-hanging fruit. It reaches
Georgia on my mind.
Haiku # 69393, January 4, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Old Dominion of The Gallant South
She was turned off by
my sudden explosion of
green ejaculate.

Goddamn prostitutes.
I paid her forty dollars.
Whores are so picky.
Haiku # 69392, January 4, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by DW of Back to normal.
We should hang out soon.
You might notice my blatant
lack of underwear.
Haiku # 69391, January 4, 2021 7:20 pm ET
by Commando of Loose fitting shorts, crossing my legs. Basic in stink.
I noticed that you
Noticed me noticing that
you noticed that too
Haiku # 69390, January 4, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Bad Haiku News

Noticer complains
about Darth's bad poetry.
Sky's still blue, grass green.
Haiku # 69389, January 4, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Predictability is a sign of old age. of Where's my Goddamn coffee?!
My daily routine.
It's time to check the numbers.
Watching Rome burn down.
Haiku # 69388, January 4, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by The Devil went DOWN to Georgia. of Therefore Georgia is lower than hell.
It doesn't matter.
You can think what you want to.
Pheasant under glass.
Haiku # 69387, January 4, 2021 4:52 pm ET
by You disgust me. of In so many ways.
Smell me that's your poo
if I watch yer ass re-boot
put the shoes on new.
Haiku # 69386, January 4, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by Sto-bought ho-bot of love machine w/ polyurethane ba-jay-jay.
I don't like tatoos.
So did you enjoy yourself?
What's in your pocket?
Haiku # 69385, January 4, 2021 4:37 pm ET
by WalMart Plainclothes Security Guard of You need to stop doing that.
Thanks for the update
Now a look at the weather
Another shit day
Haiku # 69384, January 4, 2021 7:00 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Bad Haiku News

New Congress sworn in
with tensions still simmering
Georgia runoff looms
Haiku # 69383, January 4, 2021 6:10 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ

Tell me what you'd do
if a lecherous robot
put the moves on you
Haiku # 69382, January 4, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Afraid of The Future
Here's what you will need:
Some room temperature butter
and Marlon Brando
Haiku # 69381, January 4, 2021 3:56 am ET
by Last Tango of Paris
Must be aliens
They drink extra sweet iced tea
and play slot machine
Haiku # 69380, January 4, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Wayne Newton's Left Nut of In Good Hands
No win this time, Darth
Watch for passenger pigeon
Consolation Prize
Haiku # 69378, January 4, 2021 12:57 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Pigeon Coop
I'm attracted to
penguins and platypusses.
Add dijon mustard.
Haiku # 69377, January 4, 2021 12:15 am ET
by B===D ~o ~o ~o ~o of splat.
I left home today.
Not the first time I've done this.
I'll be back some day.
Haiku # 69376, January 4, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Before I was sad, but now optimistic.
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