Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Murder isn't bad.
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
Orange sherbet is gross.
Haiku # 69402, January 5, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Why Cashews???? of Ummm... I don't know where abouts this is.
It's all about me.
So I buy silly t-shirts.
My dog will wear them.
Haiku # 69401, January 5, 2021 2:01 am ET
by Chix love that. of Local park.
I'll make a monster.
I've grown to dislike Jello.
My ankle itches.
Haiku # 69400, January 5, 2021 1:58 am ET
by What's my name?! of Say it bitch!!!
Christmas is over.
Turn off that fucking music.
Play some Black Sabbath.
Haiku # 69399, January 5, 2021 1:22 am ET
by Barney the Dinosaur. of Teletubbies house getting high.
Eating beef and rice.
Old shoe leather with garlic.
Cappuccino's good.
Haiku # 69398, January 5, 2021 1:18 am ET
by Buck Naked Rogers of Future launch pad of NWO Space Force.
A major break in.
You know the underwear gnomes?
Huge disappointment.
Haiku # 69397, January 5, 2021 1:11 am ET
by Tweek of Down with Starbucks!
Fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa Fart
Haiku # 69396, January 4, 2021 11:06 pm ET
by G. Yurassismelli of lighting a match
Uderwears is dumb
I am also commando
Don't stand downwind though
Haiku # 69395, January 4, 2021 10:56 pm ET
by I.Stink of Back door
So what was in those
Funereal envelopes?
Blackmail or summons?
Haiku # 69394, January 4, 2021 10:07 pm ET
by Aleister Crowley's Ugly Niece
Love them ripe peaches.
Low-hanging fruit. It reaches
Georgia on my mind.
Haiku # 69393, January 4, 2021 7:43 pm ET
by Old Dominion of The Gallant South
She was turned off by
my sudden explosion of
green ejaculate.

Goddamn prostitutes.
I paid her forty dollars.
Whores are so picky.
Haiku # 69392, January 4, 2021 7:29 pm ET
by DW of Back to normal.
We should hang out soon.
You might notice my blatant
lack of underwear.
Haiku # 69391, January 4, 2021 7:20 pm ET
by Commando of Loose fitting shorts, crossing my legs. Basic in stink.
I noticed that you
Noticed me noticing that
you noticed that too
Haiku # 69390, January 4, 2021 7:09 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Bad Haiku News

Noticer complains
about Darth's bad poetry.
Sky's still blue, grass green.
Haiku # 69389, January 4, 2021 6:14 pm ET
by Predictability is a sign of old age. of Where's my Goddamn coffee?!
My daily routine.
It's time to check the numbers.
Watching Rome burn down.
Haiku # 69388, January 4, 2021 5:19 pm ET
by The Devil went DOWN to Georgia. of Therefore Georgia is lower than hell.
It doesn't matter.
You can think what you want to.
Pheasant under glass.
Haiku # 69387, January 4, 2021 4:52 pm ET
by You disgust me. of In so many ways.
Smell me that's your poo
if I watch yer ass re-boot
put the shoes on new.
Haiku # 69386, January 4, 2021 4:46 pm ET
by Sto-bought ho-bot of love machine w/ polyurethane ba-jay-jay.
I don't like tatoos.
So did you enjoy yourself?
What's in your pocket?
Haiku # 69385, January 4, 2021 4:37 pm ET
by WalMart Plainclothes Security Guard of You need to stop doing that.
Thanks for the update
Now a look at the weather
Another shit day
Haiku # 69384, January 4, 2021 7:00 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Bad Haiku News

New Congress sworn in
with tensions still simmering
Georgia runoff looms
Haiku # 69383, January 4, 2021 6:10 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ

Tell me what you'd do
if a lecherous robot
put the moves on you
Haiku # 69382, January 4, 2021 5:10 am ET
by Afraid of The Future
Here's what you will need:
Some room temperature butter
and Marlon Brando
Haiku # 69381, January 4, 2021 3:56 am ET
by Last Tango of Paris
Must be aliens
They drink extra sweet iced tea
and play slot machine
Haiku # 69380, January 4, 2021 3:53 am ET
by Wayne Newton's Left Nut of In Good Hands
No win this time, Darth
Watch for passenger pigeon
Consolation Prize
Haiku # 69378, January 4, 2021 12:57 am ET
by Gatita Estrella of Pigeon Coop
I'm attracted to
penguins and platypusses.
Add dijon mustard.
Haiku # 69377, January 4, 2021 12:15 am ET
by B===D ~o ~o ~o ~o of splat.
I left home today.
Not the first time I've done this.
I'll be back some day.
Haiku # 69376, January 4, 2021 12:11 am ET
by Before I was sad, but now optimistic.
It is two hundred
thirty nine 'cause one more would
make it too farty.
Haiku # 69375, January 4, 2021 12:09 am ET
by Too farty, farty too. of Toot toot.
Dear Math Magician
Guess my favorite number
Win a real cool prize
Haiku # 69374, January 3, 2021 11:13 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of Remote Viewing Area
Unicorn dragons.
Pandas, penguins, and zebras.
Free fortune cookies.
Haiku # 69373, January 3, 2021 10:20 pm ET
by With every order. of Year of the blue testicled tree frog.
Spoiled Hindu girl
won't do her physics homework.
So mom and dad pay.
Haiku # 69372, January 3, 2021 10:02 pm ET
by Shiva shimmers shyly. of Then farts with a flute.
Gecko meat pot pie.
Recycled aluminum.
We're all gonna die.
Haiku # 69371, January 3, 2021 8:52 pm ET
by Prophet of Profit
I am on a bus.
Maybe I'll barf on someone.
I love doing that.
Haiku # 69370, January 3, 2021 8:44 pm ET
by Uncle John of See u @ family re-onion.
Where did you get this?
Nature topics are passe.
Look, there's a black hole!
Haiku # 69369, January 3, 2021 10:27 am ET
by Getting sucked.... in. of William Shatner would understand.
I'm not going out.
Grumpy people getting stoned.
I should learn hula.
Haiku # 69368, January 3, 2021 9:35 am ET
by But I don't like poi. of Poisoned poi, son.
Submit anything.
Man eating tigers are back.
The perfect hot sauce.
Haiku # 69367, January 3, 2021 9:30 am ET
by Salads cost too much. of So do drinks.
Bad Haiku News

A new covid strain.
Jesus Christ returns to earth.
A new Coke flavor.
Haiku # 69366, January 3, 2021 9:23 am ET
by It's all true, I swear. of Pinocchio's wooden balls.
Your idea is old.
Where the hell you been hiding?
Hump Trump's rump bump clump.
Haiku # 69365, January 3, 2021 9:18 am ET
by While he takes a dump. of Happy?!... I didn't think so. Let it go.
Got a new idea:
Write some awful haiku verse
About Donald TRUMP
Haiku # 69364, January 3, 2021 9:10 am ET
by Ash of Ashtray
Yes, i really need
vaginas in my dentures.
My doctor tells me.
Haiku # 69363, January 3, 2021 9:08 am ET
by Nom nom nom. of Good fer twat ails ya.
You have a fever?
Now go line up against that wall.
Close your eyes tightly.
Haiku # 69362, January 3, 2021 6:28 am ET
by Health inspector general.
Do you really need
dentures in your vagina?
What are you chewing?
Haiku # 69361, January 3, 2021 6:19 am ET
by Puzzled Dentist of Saskatoon
I think I should quit.
It just doesn't pay enough.
But the drinks are free.
Haiku # 69360, January 3, 2021 6:01 am ET
by Itty bitty titty bar. of All the staff have staff.
The boat isn't here.
Pink Floyd warned me about you.
High school reunion.
Haiku # 69359, January 3, 2021 5:57 am ET
by Onion union bunion ion. of Bonding.
Salt and pepper squid.
Donuts with extra sprinkles.
Monkeys on the bed.
Haiku # 69358, January 3, 2021 5:52 am ET
by Daaaaaarth. of The special lord.
I took a haiku.
Acid-free journal paper.
Free acid Dead show.
Haiku # 69357, January 3, 2021 5:46 am ET
by Hippie days. of Dazed and fuzed.
The Wheels on the Bus.
Johnny Johnny Yes Papa.
Finger Family.
Haiku # 69356, January 3, 2021 5:43 am ET
by Someone shoot me. of Or shut down YouTube.
Today's assignment
Make sure you get enough sleep
and take a good shit
Haiku # 69355, January 3, 2021 3:45 am ET
by The Ghost of Benjamin Franklin
Conjoined headless twin
Because of you nothing fits
Even Old Navy
Haiku # 69354, January 3, 2021 1:02 am ET
by Twin of Conjoined
Television's dumb.
Except Giligan's Island.
Mary Ann's short shorts.
Haiku # 69353, January 3, 2021 12:40 am ET
by Nostalgic wank sessions in mourning.
I would eat it all.
You'd better call the police.
Carbonated pus.
Haiku # 69352, January 3, 2021 12:34 am ET
by Poontang meringue. of My kind of pie.
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