Today's assignment
Make sure you get enough sleep
and take a good shit
by The Ghost of Benjamin Franklin
Conjoined headless twin
Because of you nothing fits
Even Old Navy
by Twin of Conjoined
Television's dumb.
Except Giligan's Island.
Mary Ann's short shorts.
by Nostalgic wank sessions in mourning.
I would eat it all.
You'd better call the police.
Carbonated pus.
by Poontang meringue. of My kind of pie.
Telepathic moth.
There's something pink in the sky.
Zero cal cheesecake.
by Only in Japan. of Are they even human?
It's 'Cause you beat me
That I eat the rotten meat
Lather rinse repeat
by Boobie inspector t-shirt of Late 70s roller rink
You disgusting pig.
Why did you do that in here.
Just look at yourself.
by Evil Grandma of You should be ashamed
Waffles are tasty.
What's your preferred exercise?
The Pope is asking.
by Surfing on Holy Water of Drunk on Fire Water
You think you're something?
There's no such thing as nothing.
Harley Davidson.
by Vroom.
What is the purpose?
You cannot smoke Crayolas.
Cats do not eat rice.
by Get a life! of What did you gain by that?
The Fruit of the Loom
hangs rotten in the orchard
Change your underwear
by Mom of Cleaning up after you
Squidward Squidward Squid
Skid marks Skid marks brown wet skid
Dirty undies hid
by Loosey Goosey of Dirty Underwear Mountain
Now there's a new strain.
More contagious, less deadly.
So the rumors go.
by Do NOT believe this.
Kaleidoscope lights.
When your hatred grows beyond.
Banana pancakes.
by Cure all.
I will murder you.
That is all that you deserve.
Because you're a beer!
by Ha!
Where are you, my love?
You do NOT need a mink coat.
Park your boogers there.
by Hanging upside down. of mice and men
Slow wifi service.
This coffee is too bitter.
That painting's not straight.
by Button your shirt!
These things are not you.
Shut up and show me your tits.
Wasn't that easy?
by I miss going to church.
Can you levitate?
I saw it at the skate park.'
It's a rebelion.
by Join us or die.
It's beyond the trees.
Water's supposed to be wet.
Tell me what you want.
by
You should not be here.
Your haircut says who you are.
And it's just not right.
by Buzz cut with a penis shaved in the back by a sadistic barber that hates giving buzz cuts. of That's what you get!
Bad Haiku News
I made a large fart.
Green is opposite from red.
Christmas is a lie.
by Grumpy Grinch Growing Green Grimy Grass Greedily of Marijuana Explosion!
I was sitting down.
Dinosaurs came back to life.
So many flavors.
by There's nothing to see here. of Move along.
Can you imagine
Donald Trump's turkey waddle
melted for candles.
They would not smell good,
but Democrats would buy them.
Hell, I'd buy one too.
by Recycle your Scrabble tiles. of Eat them again.
You're wasting your time.
Please do not waste my time too.
Build a dirigible.
by Or a Deringer. of Either will fly.
Ash is still obsessed
with his orange nemesis.
Let go and let God.
by Hush of Ashtralia
Whose ho, who hoes hose.
To Toto's two tutus too.
You shouldn't drink that.
by Alice of Been here before.
Don Ho's stink finger
motioning for you to come
watch the hula girls
by Visit Hawaii of Tourism Board
Ate the scrabble tiles....
My next trip to the bathroom
Could spell disaster.
by Stole this one from a meme
Barefoot restaurant.
The choppy waves here scare me.
I won't eat live food.
by I will watch you.
After 40 years
I want to bang Mary Ann
high on Mary Jane.
by Then, not now, of course!
The Fonz paid his girls.
Elephants are not stupid.
Her taint was soooo clean.
by Unheard of. of You should take note.
I don't understand.
She stuck her gum underneath.
Pickles and salmon.
by Covid has HIV strands. of The war has just begun.
Vaginal steaming
Remember Gwyneth Paltrow
Where's the tuna fish?
by Posh Woman of Sitting in goop
I can feel your pain.
To lose weight, just eat ice cubes.
The wall is ugly.
by Panda bear chopstick holders. of Theft is childish.
I done got fucked up.
They canceled tonight's opera.
There's way too much cheese.
by The moon has lost weight. of Look how fat Trump is now.
Hawaiian music.
Kung Pao chicken and lo mein.
She has no boobies.
by Coke with salted lime is, of course Conan the Barbarian's favorite drink.
Penguin poo on shoe.
Superman does not approve.
Eat the black lotus.
by Mumra of Made peace with Thundercats.
L.O.S.E.R.
written all over his face
orange and pouty
by ash
Bad Haiku News
UK Covid strain
now in US and China
the death toll rises
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
happier new year
we will see, are we clear here
its all in the wrist
by vhs
Sir, these dink poems
They are not Darth's handiwork
He's not a female
by Emily Dinkinson of My dusty room
Another new year
To read disgusting bad verse,
Most of it by Darth.
by Sublime Haiku of The Celestial Poets
The little rascal
As an extra precaution
wears a Covid mask
by And A Tuxedo and Top Hat of A Rain Slicker and Monocle like Mr. Peanut
Exiting the bar
Escorting this well dressed dink
home for a night cap
by Escort of Dapper Dink of In Good Hands
You seem stuck on "dinks".
You need a resolution
to start this new year.
by Don't think of dink, think of stinky pink washed in the sink.
Have you ever seen
a tuxedo wearing dink
have one too many?
by Neat Freak, mopping of Under old willow
Solitary dink
All dressed up. Nowhere to go.
Soft music playing
by Drunk of Waiting for my balls to drop
Phallic Apparel
Soft satin, matching top hat
Penis Tuxedo
by Dink Penguin of Iceberg
The Polite Penis
"Pardon my not average size"
"Let me get that door"
by Genitalman of About Town
