I'm attracted to
penguins and platypusses.
Add dijon mustard.
by B===D ~o ~o ~o ~o of splat.
I left home today.
Not the first time I've done this.
I'll be back some day.
by Before I was sad, but now optimistic.
It is two hundred
thirty nine 'cause one more would
make it too farty.
by Too farty, farty too. of Toot toot.
Dear Math Magician
Guess my favorite number
Win a real cool prize
by Gatita Estrella of Remote Viewing Area
Unicorn dragons.
Pandas, penguins, and zebras.
Free fortune cookies.
by With every order. of Year of the blue testicled tree frog.
Spoiled Hindu girl
won't do her physics homework.
So mom and dad pay.
by Shiva shimmers shyly. of Then farts with a flute.
Gecko meat pot pie.
Recycled aluminum.
We're all gonna die.
by Prophet of Profit
I am on a bus.
Maybe I'll barf on someone.
I love doing that.
by Uncle John of See u @ family re-onion.
Where did you get this?
Nature topics are passe.
Look, there's a black hole!
by Getting sucked.... in. of William Shatner would understand.
I'm not going out.
Grumpy people getting stoned.
I should learn hula.
by But I don't like poi. of Poisoned poi, son.
Submit anything.
Man eating tigers are back.
The perfect hot sauce.
by Salads cost too much. of So do drinks.
Bad Haiku News
A new covid strain.
Jesus Christ returns to earth.
A new Coke flavor.
by It's all true, I swear. of Pinocchio's wooden balls.
Your idea is old.
Where the hell you been hiding?
Hump Trump's rump bump clump.
by While he takes a dump. of Happy?!... I didn't think so. Let it go.
Got a new idea:
Write some awful haiku verse
About Donald TRUMP
by Ash of Ashtray
Yes, i really need
vaginas in my dentures.
My doctor tells me.
by Nom nom nom. of Good fer twat ails ya.
You have a fever?
Now go line up against that wall.
Close your eyes tightly.
by Health inspector general.
Do you really need
dentures in your vagina?
What are you chewing?
by Puzzled Dentist of Saskatoon
I think I should quit.
It just doesn't pay enough.
But the drinks are free.
by Itty bitty titty bar. of All the staff have staff.
The boat isn't here.
Pink Floyd warned me about you.
High school reunion.
by Onion union bunion ion. of Bonding.
Salt and pepper squid.
Donuts with extra sprinkles.
Monkeys on the bed.
by Daaaaaarth. of The special lord.
I took a haiku.
Acid-free journal paper.
Free acid Dead show.
by Hippie days. of Dazed and fuzed.
The Wheels on the Bus.
Johnny Johnny Yes Papa.
Finger Family.
by Someone shoot me. of Or shut down YouTube.
Today's assignment
Make sure you get enough sleep
and take a good shit
by The Ghost of Benjamin Franklin
Conjoined headless twin
Because of you nothing fits
Even Old Navy
by Twin of Conjoined
Television's dumb.
Except Giligan's Island.
Mary Ann's short shorts.
by Nostalgic wank sessions in mourning.
I would eat it all.
You'd better call the police.
Carbonated pus.
by Poontang meringue. of My kind of pie.
Telepathic moth.
There's something pink in the sky.
Zero cal cheesecake.
by Only in Japan. of Are they even human?
It's 'Cause you beat me
That I eat the rotten meat
Lather rinse repeat
by Boobie inspector t-shirt of Late 70s roller rink
You disgusting pig.
Why did you do that in here.
Just look at yourself.
by Evil Grandma of You should be ashamed
Waffles are tasty.
What's your preferred exercise?
The Pope is asking.
by Surfing on Holy Water of Drunk on Fire Water
You think you're something?
There's no such thing as nothing.
Harley Davidson.
by Vroom.
What is the purpose?
You cannot smoke Crayolas.
Cats do not eat rice.
by Get a life! of What did you gain by that?
The Fruit of the Loom
hangs rotten in the orchard
Change your underwear
by Mom of Cleaning up after you
Squidward Squidward Squid
Skid marks Skid marks brown wet skid
Dirty undies hid
by Loosey Goosey of Dirty Underwear Mountain
Now there's a new strain.
More contagious, less deadly.
So the rumors go.
by Do NOT believe this.
Kaleidoscope lights.
When your hatred grows beyond.
Banana pancakes.
by Cure all.
I will murder you.
That is all that you deserve.
Because you're a beer!
by Ha!
Where are you, my love?
You do NOT need a mink coat.
Park your boogers there.
by Hanging upside down. of mice and men
Slow wifi service.
This coffee is too bitter.
That painting's not straight.
by Button your shirt!
These things are not you.
Shut up and show me your tits.
Wasn't that easy?
by I miss going to church.
Can you levitate?
I saw it at the skate park.'
It's a rebelion.
by Join us or die.
It's beyond the trees.
Water's supposed to be wet.
Tell me what you want.
by
You should not be here.
Your haircut says who you are.
And it's just not right.
by Buzz cut with a penis shaved in the back by a sadistic barber that hates giving buzz cuts. of That's what you get!
Bad Haiku News
I made a large fart.
Green is opposite from red.
Christmas is a lie.
by Grumpy Grinch Growing Green Grimy Grass Greedily of Marijuana Explosion!
I was sitting down.
Dinosaurs came back to life.
So many flavors.
by There's nothing to see here. of Move along.
Can you imagine
Donald Trump's turkey waddle
melted for candles.
They would not smell good,
but Democrats would buy them.
Hell, I'd buy one too.
by Recycle your Scrabble tiles. of Eat them again.
You're wasting your time.
Please do not waste my time too.
Build a dirigible.
by Or a Deringer. of Either will fly.
Ash is still obsessed
with his orange nemesis.
Let go and let God.
by Hush of Ashtralia
Whose ho, who hoes hose.
To Toto's two tutus too.
You shouldn't drink that.
by Alice of Been here before.
Don Ho's stink finger
motioning for you to come
watch the hula girls
by Visit Hawaii of Tourism Board
