A major break in.
You know the underwear gnomes?
Huge disappointment.
by Tweek of Down with Starbucks!
Fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa fa fa fa
fa fa fa fa Fart
by G. Yurassismelli of lighting a match
Uderwears is dumb
I am also commando
Don't stand downwind though
by I.Stink of Back door
So what was in those
Funereal envelopes?
Blackmail or summons?
by Aleister Crowley's Ugly Niece
Love them ripe peaches.
Low-hanging fruit. It reaches
Georgia on my mind.
by Old Dominion of The Gallant South
She was turned off by
my sudden explosion of
green ejaculate.
Goddamn prostitutes.
I paid her forty dollars.
Whores are so picky.
by DW of Back to normal.
We should hang out soon.
You might notice my blatant
lack of underwear.
by Commando of Loose fitting shorts, crossing my legs. Basic in stink.
I noticed that you
Noticed me noticing that
you noticed that too
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Bad Haiku News
Noticer complains
about Darth's bad poetry.
Sky's still blue, grass green.
by Predictability is a sign of old age. of Where's my Goddamn coffee?!
My daily routine.
It's time to check the numbers.
Watching Rome burn down.
by The Devil went DOWN to Georgia. of Therefore Georgia is lower than hell.
It doesn't matter.
You can think what you want to.
Pheasant under glass.
by You disgust me. of In so many ways.
Smell me that's your poo
if I watch yer ass re-boot
put the shoes on new.
by Sto-bought ho-bot of love machine w/ polyurethane ba-jay-jay.
I don't like tatoos.
So did you enjoy yourself?
What's in your pocket?
by WalMart Plainclothes Security Guard of You need to stop doing that.
Thanks for the update
Now a look at the weather
Another shit day
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Bad Haiku News
New Congress sworn in
with tensions still simmering
Georgia runoff looms
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Tell me what you'd do
if a lecherous robot
put the moves on you
by Afraid of The Future
Here's what you will need:
Some room temperature butter
and Marlon Brando
by Last Tango of Paris
Must be aliens
They drink extra sweet iced tea
and play slot machine
by Wayne Newton's Left Nut of In Good Hands
No win this time, Darth
Watch for passenger pigeon
Consolation Prize
by Gatita Estrella of Pigeon Coop
I'm attracted to
penguins and platypusses.
Add dijon mustard.
by B===D ~o ~o ~o ~o of splat.
I left home today.
Not the first time I've done this.
I'll be back some day.
by Before I was sad, but now optimistic.
It is two hundred
thirty nine 'cause one more would
make it too farty.
by Too farty, farty too. of Toot toot.
Dear Math Magician
Guess my favorite number
Win a real cool prize
by Gatita Estrella of Remote Viewing Area
Unicorn dragons.
Pandas, penguins, and zebras.
Free fortune cookies.
by With every order. of Year of the blue testicled tree frog.
Spoiled Hindu girl
won't do her physics homework.
So mom and dad pay.
by Shiva shimmers shyly. of Then farts with a flute.
Gecko meat pot pie.
Recycled aluminum.
We're all gonna die.
by Prophet of Profit
I am on a bus.
Maybe I'll barf on someone.
I love doing that.
by Uncle John of See u @ family re-onion.
Where did you get this?
Nature topics are passe.
Look, there's a black hole!
by Getting sucked.... in. of William Shatner would understand.
I'm not going out.
Grumpy people getting stoned.
I should learn hula.
by But I don't like poi. of Poisoned poi, son.
Submit anything.
Man eating tigers are back.
The perfect hot sauce.
by Salads cost too much. of So do drinks.
Bad Haiku News
A new covid strain.
Jesus Christ returns to earth.
A new Coke flavor.
by It's all true, I swear. of Pinocchio's wooden balls.
Your idea is old.
Where the hell you been hiding?
Hump Trump's rump bump clump.
by While he takes a dump. of Happy?!... I didn't think so. Let it go.
Got a new idea:
Write some awful haiku verse
About Donald TRUMP
by Ash of Ashtray
Yes, i really need
vaginas in my dentures.
My doctor tells me.
by Nom nom nom. of Good fer twat ails ya.
You have a fever?
Now go line up against that wall.
Close your eyes tightly.
by Health inspector general.
Do you really need
dentures in your vagina?
What are you chewing?
by Puzzled Dentist of Saskatoon
I think I should quit.
It just doesn't pay enough.
But the drinks are free.
by Itty bitty titty bar. of All the staff have staff.
The boat isn't here.
Pink Floyd warned me about you.
High school reunion.
by Onion union bunion ion. of Bonding.
Salt and pepper squid.
Donuts with extra sprinkles.
Monkeys on the bed.
by Daaaaaarth. of The special lord.
I took a haiku.
Acid-free journal paper.
Free acid Dead show.
by Hippie days. of Dazed and fuzed.
The Wheels on the Bus.
Johnny Johnny Yes Papa.
Finger Family.
by Someone shoot me. of Or shut down YouTube.
Today's assignment
Make sure you get enough sleep
and take a good shit
by The Ghost of Benjamin Franklin
Conjoined headless twin
Because of you nothing fits
Even Old Navy
by Twin of Conjoined
Television's dumb.
Except Giligan's Island.
Mary Ann's short shorts.
by Nostalgic wank sessions in mourning.
I would eat it all.
You'd better call the police.
Carbonated pus.
by Poontang meringue. of My kind of pie.
Telepathic moth.
There's something pink in the sky.
Zero cal cheesecake.
by Only in Japan. of Are they even human?
It's 'Cause you beat me
That I eat the rotten meat
Lather rinse repeat
by Boobie inspector t-shirt of Late 70s roller rink
You disgusting pig.
Why did you do that in here.
Just look at yourself.
by Evil Grandma of You should be ashamed
Waffles are tasty.
What's your preferred exercise?
The Pope is asking.
by Surfing on Holy Water of Drunk on Fire Water
You think you're something?
There's no such thing as nothing.
Harley Davidson.
by Vroom.
