Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I figured it out.
Darth Figpucker is a bot
programmed to be vile.
Haiku # 69279, December 29, 2020 9:43 am ET
by Algorithm of Pessimism
Organic Cheetos
with beluga caviar
and Dom Perignon.
Haiku # 69278, December 29, 2020 8:35 am ET
by Oprah's vagina with teeth. of And a handgun.
I'm a Dorito.
Eat my triangular ass.
God that was cheesy.
Haiku # 69277, December 29, 2020 3:18 am ET
by With cream cheese salmon dip. of Oprah tested and approved.
7-11
I'll be the one who looks baked
Eating Doritos
Haiku # 69276, December 28, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Haiku Hookup of Corner
Free Legal Advice
Channeled through the departed
Theodore Bundy
Haiku # 69275, December 28, 2020 8:39 pm ET
by Person in trance of Barstool
If you plug your "arse",
global warming will subside
and life will rejoice.

Upon your demise
we will launch you into space
to save the planet.
Haiku # 69274, December 28, 2020 7:54 pm ET
by EPA 42 U.S.C. §13101 et seq. (1990)
Fines just aren't enough
Overdue library books
Electric chair ride
Haiku # 69273, December 28, 2020 7:10 pm ET
by Doobies Decimals and Decibels of High
I'll have a Dilly
The Orignal Snack Bar
Between Eve's legs
Haiku # 69272, December 28, 2020 7:05 pm ET
by Bruh, this is Adam ( from the Bible) of Digging in to Bottomless Clams!
Bad Haiku News

Trump signs Relief bill
a Chinese journalist jailed
Ancient 'snack bar' found
Haiku # 69271, December 28, 2020 1:28 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Methane Lottery
Hold your head up to my arse
for today's numbers
Haiku # 69270, December 28, 2020 12:54 pm ET
by Buy a Ticket of This Could Be Your Shitty Day!
Numerology.
It means as much to me as
gynecology.
Haiku # 69269, December 28, 2020 10:49 am ET
by When was your llast exam?
I enjoyed your fart.
It reminds me of balot
and strong vinegar.
Haiku # 69268, December 28, 2020 10:44 am ET
by I still won't try monkey meat.
I asked my kids that.
They say their online freinds care.
And that I do not.

Is ten years of age
too soon to kick out the house?
Relax! I'm joking!
Haiku # 69267, December 28, 2020 10:39 am ET
by Fingers worked to the bone. of One foot in the grave.
i was asked why do
i bother with online folks
missing on real life?
Haiku # 69266, December 28, 2020 10:14 am ET
by vhs
There's someone to blame
when your conjoined twin lets wind
(Besides your old dog)
Haiku # 69265, December 28, 2020 4:54 am ET
by Fartfucius of Under old willow
If they both feel it
When conjoined twins get it on
is it called incest?
Haiku # 69264, December 28, 2020 4:39 am ET
by People Person of USA!!
I mailed you my fart
It smells like burning plastic
and rotten old eggs
Haiku # 69263, December 28, 2020 4:31 am ET
by A Gift for You of Fart of the Month Club
Send me a Thai girl.
I could eat that all night long.
Spicy and low fat!
Haiku # 69262, December 28, 2020 2:18 am ET
by Prostitute aficionado.
Like the lottery,
hoping your ex gets covid,
but it's free to play.
Haiku # 69261, December 28, 2020 2:14 am ET
by Oy vay! Free already yet?!
Be KIND to your DINK.
Write poetry about it.
And all that it does.

It will love you back.
And will not spit in your eye.
Though you spit on his.
Haiku # 69260, December 28, 2020 1:46 am ET
by Don't listen to that other "poet". of She's just an evil troll.
You must be hungry
Can't someone mail you something
to satisfy you?
Haiku # 69259, December 27, 2020 11:06 pm ET
by Gatita Estrella of Licking Stamp
You are a liar.
I never flipped off Santa
when flipping the sky.

I was aiming that
at the Spaghetti Monster.
Fake Italian food.

Constructed in a
Chinese noodle biolab.
Made with MSG.

Chinese won't touch it.
But Pinoys eat that shit up.
So sad I could cry.
Haiku # 69258, December 27, 2020 10:48 pm ET
by Go to Thailand, or maybe Indonesia, maybe Korea or Vietnam of Stay out of the Philippines! Dog doo on wet toast has more appeal than their food.
Tie balloons to chair
Up and away you will soar
Try this in the nude
Haiku # 69257, December 27, 2020 7:17 pm ET
by Featherless Bird of Sky Chair
Challenge for poets
Meaningful haiku poems
No mention of dinks
Haiku # 69256, December 27, 2020 7:13 pm ET
by Dink Mentioner of Dink Mentioning Section
Coffee beans aren't beans.
However, they're magical.
Harry Potter's dead.
Haiku # 69255, December 27, 2020 5:39 pm ET
by Gandalf the Barista
I traded my beans
for a magical bovine.
Her teats make latte.
Haiku # 69254, December 27, 2020 5:35 pm ET
by But you have to add your own flavoring, because of course, gays like flavored coffee.
Blowjob was so good
She inflated my testes.
I, hopity horse.
Haiku # 69253, December 27, 2020 5:17 pm ET
by New Years Resolution of More more more.
Snakes have one dink
The other one's a kickstand
for upright doinking
Haiku # 69252, December 27, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by Sssssssssexy of In the grass
What are farts used for?
Magical hyperspace fuel.
Star Wars censored that.
Haiku # 69251, December 27, 2020 8:39 am ET
by And the nude scene with Leia and Jaba. of Jaba has two penises like a snake.
Jesus, you're stupid.
Keep the beast and sell the farts.
Jack and the Beanstalk.
Haiku # 69250, December 27, 2020 8:37 am ET
by Magic beans make magic farts. of Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you feed to your pig beast, the richer you will be.
when do i get to
sell this hybrid pig beast to
science for his farts
Haiku # 69249, December 27, 2020 6:05 am ET
by greasy monkey
Fart your mommy. ??? !! ????
That's only 4 syllables.
Blast femur!!
Haiku # 69248, December 27, 2020 6:03 am ET
by My mom calls poop "grunt". of Is that weird or what?!
Fart Umami
Elvis Presley's absorbed twin
Double the flavor
Haiku # 69247, December 27, 2020 1:17 am ET
by Fart Scientist of Laboratory (pronounced lavatory)
Don't you renember?
I skipped your house that year, Darth
You beat off too much
Haiku # 69246, December 26, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Santa Claus of Memories of 1982
No matter how old,
I believe in Santa Claus.
And 80s porn tapes.
Haiku # 69245, December 26, 2020 6:34 am ET
by Dark Lord Whorendous of Dork Lard up in us.
No news about the
new strain of marijuana
found in my back yard.
Haiku # 69244, December 26, 2020 6:29 am ET
by First pot strain that makes you gassy. of Black market slave auction unloading some children.
Someone ignited
Elvis Presley's bottled fart
Trying to huff it.
Haiku # 69243, December 26, 2020 6:25 am ET
by Hound dog farts are the worst! of At least it's not meth.
Bad Haiku News

Nashville explosion
New strain of Covid in France
New snake species found
Haiku # 69242, December 26, 2020 4:05 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Time to awaken
Dick Clark's stiff Anaconda
Party til you puke
Haiku # 69241, December 25, 2020 11:19 pm ET
by Nigel of Boa Constrictor
Little Figpucker
gazes up at the night sky
Flips Santa the bird
Haiku # 69240, December 25, 2020 11:14 pm ET
by Time Machine of Days of Young Master Figpucker
with all the bullshit
on here I'm getting haiku
and waifu confused...
Haiku # 69239, December 25, 2020 5:18 pm ET
by vhs
Who's had the squirrels?
Nativity Scene with nuts
Joseph could be rabid
Haiku # 69238, December 25, 2020 4:11 pm ET
by Foaming of At the mouth
Having multiple personality disorder does not mean that you have committed "gang rape" once that you have raped someone. Now go have a tea party with your imaginary friends like a good little psycho on thorazine.
Haiku # 69237, December 25, 2020 4:02 pm ET
by Sigmund Frood of Tannin bomber
Who's old enough to
have had a real Christmas tree
in their living room?
Haiku # 69236, December 25, 2020 3:49 pm ET
by Old Farts Nostalgia Association. of On the edge of Alzheimer's
Gang rape the cocoa.
Throw it at the carolers.
Say it's self defense.

That's their punishment.
And it's a light one at that!
For singing off key.
Haiku # 69235, December 25, 2020 3:43 pm ET
by DW of What kind of "God" allows his worshipers to sing so badly?!
Mannequin Hogpile
Get your smelly plastic twat
Out of my face, bitch
Haiku # 69234, December 25, 2020 3:39 pm ET
by J C.Penney of Closed for the Holidays
Why not gang rape
the carolers at your door?
Save on hot cocoa
Haiku # 69233, December 25, 2020 3:36 pm ET
by Frugal of Dooryard
Please save your receipt
should you wish to return or
exchange this whore
Haiku # 69232, December 25, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by DW of Pimp Ethics and Standards Committee
On a bear skin rug
Figpucker, The New Fragrance
For the New Horny
Haiku # 69231, December 25, 2020 3:32 pm ET
by Masculine yet feminine of With some fruity notes
Try blowing your nose.
But know that if nothing comes out,
it's all been for snot.
Haiku # 69230, December 25, 2020 3:30 pm ET
by budda boom budda bing
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