Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 353 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Jesus, you're stupid.
Keep the beast and sell the farts.
Jack and the Beanstalk.
Haiku # 69250, December 27, 2020 8:37 am ET
by Magic beans make magic farts. of Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you feed to your pig beast, the richer you will be.
when do i get to
sell this hybrid pig beast to
science for his farts
Haiku # 69249, December 27, 2020 6:05 am ET
by greasy monkey
Fart your mommy. ??? !! ????
That's only 4 syllables.
Blast femur!!
Haiku # 69248, December 27, 2020 6:03 am ET
by My mom calls poop "grunt". of Is that weird or what?!
Fart Umami
Elvis Presley's absorbed twin
Double the flavor
Haiku # 69247, December 27, 2020 1:17 am ET
by Fart Scientist of Laboratory (pronounced lavatory)
Don't you renember?
I skipped your house that year, Darth
You beat off too much
Haiku # 69246, December 26, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Santa Claus of Memories of 1982
No matter how old,
I believe in Santa Claus.
And 80s porn tapes.
Haiku # 69245, December 26, 2020 6:34 am ET
by Dark Lord Whorendous of Dork Lard up in us.
No news about the
new strain of marijuana
found in my back yard.
Haiku # 69244, December 26, 2020 6:29 am ET
by First pot strain that makes you gassy. of Black market slave auction unloading some children.
Someone ignited
Elvis Presley's bottled fart
Trying to huff it.
Haiku # 69243, December 26, 2020 6:25 am ET
by Hound dog farts are the worst! of At least it's not meth.
Bad Haiku News

Nashville explosion
New strain of Covid in France
New snake species found
Haiku # 69242, December 26, 2020 4:05 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Time to awaken
Dick Clark's stiff Anaconda
Party til you puke
Haiku # 69241, December 25, 2020 11:19 pm ET
by Nigel of Boa Constrictor
Little Figpucker
gazes up at the night sky
Flips Santa the bird
Haiku # 69240, December 25, 2020 11:14 pm ET
by Time Machine of Days of Young Master Figpucker
with all the bullshit
on here I'm getting haiku
and waifu confused...
Haiku # 69239, December 25, 2020 5:18 pm ET
by vhs
Who's had the squirrels?
Nativity Scene with nuts
Joseph could be rabid
Haiku # 69238, December 25, 2020 4:11 pm ET
by Foaming of At the mouth
Having multiple personality disorder does not mean that you have committed "gang rape" once that you have raped someone. Now go have a tea party with your imaginary friends like a good little psycho on thorazine.
Haiku # 69237, December 25, 2020 4:02 pm ET
by Sigmund Frood of Tannin bomber
Who's old enough to
have had a real Christmas tree
in their living room?
Haiku # 69236, December 25, 2020 3:49 pm ET
by Old Farts Nostalgia Association. of On the edge of Alzheimer's
Gang rape the cocoa.
Throw it at the carolers.
Say it's self defense.

That's their punishment.
And it's a light one at that!
For singing off key.
Haiku # 69235, December 25, 2020 3:43 pm ET
by DW of What kind of "God" allows his worshipers to sing so badly?!
Mannequin Hogpile
Get your smelly plastic twat
Out of my face, bitch
Haiku # 69234, December 25, 2020 3:39 pm ET
by J C.Penney of Closed for the Holidays
Why not gang rape
the carolers at your door?
Save on hot cocoa
Haiku # 69233, December 25, 2020 3:36 pm ET
by Frugal of Dooryard
Please save your receipt
should you wish to return or
exchange this whore
Haiku # 69232, December 25, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by DW of Pimp Ethics and Standards Committee
On a bear skin rug
Figpucker, The New Fragrance
For the New Horny
Haiku # 69231, December 25, 2020 3:32 pm ET
by Masculine yet feminine of With some fruity notes
Try blowing your nose.
But know that if nothing comes out,
it's all been for snot.
Haiku # 69230, December 25, 2020 3:30 pm ET
by budda boom budda bing
Irresistible
Your buoy bobbing on seafoam
Now, feeding frenzy
Haiku # 69229, December 25, 2020 3:27 pm ET
by Jock Itch Cousteau of Down Below
Please save your receipt
should you wish to return or
exchange this haiku
Haiku # 69228, December 25, 2020 3:24 pm ET
by Bitch of The Management
If Santa loves me,
I've not been naughty enough.
Satan, however...
Haiku # 69227, December 25, 2020 3:24 pm ET
by Not naughty, all for naught at forty knots of Knotty Pines, nautical resort.
i feel good but grim
today, like this was a break
for what matters most
Haiku # 69226, December 25, 2020 1:16 pm ET
by vhs
Jesus Christ is Lord!
Oppose Him at your own risk
Oh condemned sinner.
Haiku # 69225, December 25, 2020 1:06 pm ET
by Friendly Local Milquetoast Pastor of Xmas
Dear little Figpuck:
Although you have been naughty,
Santa still loves you
Haiku # 69224, December 25, 2020 1:03 pm ET
by Elf Efficacy of Sickbag
fourth turning and
xmas, still we need to cross
the river on ice
Haiku # 69223, December 25, 2020 11:45 am ET
by vhs of maga or rewind?
Just relax fella...
It's Christmas for zombies too
Green bean casserole
Haiku # 69222, December 25, 2020 10:16 am ET
by Ball sack inspector
You are pathetic.
That is because you are here.
Jesus, it's Chistmas!
Haiku # 69221, December 25, 2020 10:06 am ET
by Now go away and dont come back until Jan. 15. of In a room.
When zombies wake up
The first thing to reinflate
is their dead ball sack

After a quick peek
Most will hit the ground running
Double check your door
Haiku # 69220, December 25, 2020 6:29 am ET
by North American of Zombie Watch
Well, since we can't kiss
Would you mind if I groped you
during this bad plague?
Haiku # 69219, December 25, 2020 6:21 am ET
by Hans Allover of Hard to reach areas
seven Covid deaths
all linked to one sick person
feeling sick? stay home!
Haiku # 69218, December 25, 2020 6:09 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Donald Trump hit links
Congress goes on vacation
While Country suffers
Haiku # 69217, December 25, 2020 6:05 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Jewish people and
Chinese food on Christmas? No!
It's every damn day!
Haiku # 69216, December 25, 2020 5:57 am ET
by Oy vay, more sacred than the commandments! of Schezchwan pork... Kosher enough.
Why did she leave you?
Too much math? Red lipstick stains?
Pencil Protector?
Haiku # 69215, December 25, 2020 4:55 am ET
by Drunk of Floor
If you are my Ex,
I hope you get HIV
and Covid-19.
Haiku # 69214, December 25, 2020 4:47 am ET
by On the same day. of All I want for Christmas.
Ok Figpucker
Tell us about your presents
What did Santa bring?
Haiku # 69213, December 25, 2020 4:32 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
We wish you a Merry Covid
And a Happy Mutated Virus.
From China with Love (of money).
Bc all commies love money and power.
Haiku # 69212, December 25, 2020 4:28 am ET
by Mr Hankey's pet cat Sparkles. of Bc why not.
For Ex gyn exam.
Broken brokered vagina.
Not worth a damn thing.
Haiku # 69211, December 25, 2020 4:22 am ET
by And quite stinky!!!
forex can be quite.
the scam as it is so you
know games people play

money money money
Haiku # 69209, December 25, 2020 12:11 am ET
by vhs
Vad är valutahandel. https://se.forex-is.com
Haiku # 69208, December 24, 2020 8:29 pm ET
by ForexGync of Lowest spread forex brokers
Wishing Peace on Earth
Merry Christmas to your dink
from my vagina
Haiku # 69207, December 24, 2020 8:25 pm ET
by No More Wars of Too Busy Getting it On
you know organized
crime seems to be the subset
guv ment's right into
Haiku # 69206, December 24, 2020 8:18 pm ET
by vhs
Trump pardoned those who
The Demonrat's false framed
Don't forget it tools.

Biden family crimes
Are real and easy to see
its all in the laptop.
Haiku # 69205, December 24, 2020 7:18 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Erlick took the money
Miss Fang Fang fook fooked for.
And got elected

Swellwell hated Trump
And hollered he is a spy!
As Fang and Xi laugh
Haiku # 69204, December 24, 2020 7:09 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Erlick its Fang Fang
You gave me a bug- bas-turd!
But I bugged you!

Mao down there in hell
Is watching your blue movies
laughing and smoking.

Yankees are stupid
a dork like you on Intell?
Low info voters

How cool is that huh?
They thought Trump was a agent!
We fooled them damn good!
Haiku # 69203, December 24, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
so what do people
do to shut down a world psyop
when we fear punks
Haiku # 69202, December 24, 2020 11:43 am ET
by moxie
COVID is all hype.
Ninety percent survival,
No different from flu
Haiku # 69201, December 24, 2020 11:40 am ET
by But it Helps their Reset of Course
Trump goes on rampage
Pardons, Relief veto threats
more Covid denial
Haiku # 69200, December 24, 2020 11:37 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >