Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

La chatte dit: miaou
Punaise! C'est tout une merveille
(pas pour la souris...)
Haiku # 68931, November 27, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by Jean-Claude Marie Giscard du Cornouaille of Mais pas de Conneries
I'm moving to France
where the cats walk on tables
where the cats say Miaou
Haiku # 68930, November 27, 2020 7:25 am ET
by chaton d’étoile of Litter pan
eat me first garcon
then add creme to my brulee
mon dieu, oh la la !
Haiku # 68929, November 27, 2020 6:25 am ET
by ash of dans la cuisine, la bas
*throat, not through. But you gnu that.
Haiku # 68928, November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
First slight sore through, then bad runny nose, now a slight dry cough. No fever, no loss of taste... yet.
But just in case it's covid, I'm spitting on people's car door handles. Doing my duty to lower the population b/c that's what the Chinese scientists want.
Haiku # 68927, November 27, 2020 6:04 am ET
by spitooey!
The high protein food
of Thanksgiving dinner will
not increase methane.

But the amines, well,
that's a whole nother story.
Stinks somethin' awful!

For calculations,
the data are incomplete.
Blame republicans.
Haiku # 68926, November 27, 2020 6:01 am ET
by Odoriferous obfuscations.
The lonely Frenchman
fucking a hollowed out loaf
of stale baguette bread
Haiku # 68925, November 27, 2020 3:01 am ET
by French Dip of Au jus
Calculate it, Darth
Increase in methane output
caused by Thanksgiving
Haiku # 68924, November 27, 2020 2:54 am ET
by Splat Metheny of Gaslight Village, NY
Grandpa's fantasy
was to fuck someone's third eye
They'd see that coming
Haiku # 68923, November 27, 2020 12:03 am ET
by Sari of Not Sari
You clogged the toilet
with those brown warheads, pal
Where's the toilet snakes?
Haiku # 68922, November 26, 2020 11:59 pm ET
by Jana Torres of Utility Closet
I have decided
to manufacture warheads.
Nuclear, of course.
Haiku # 68921, November 26, 2020 10:21 pm ET
by I'll drop one on the badhaiku servier.
Thank God for turkey!
*Cough!* Pass the *Cough!* gravy, please.
Your wife has nice tits.

Well, I did my part.
Helping to spread the disease.
Elderly shall fall.

What will the whores do
when their sugar daddies die?
Find another fool.
Haiku # 68920, November 26, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by dw
Isn't it raw meat?
Can you get food poisoning
from sucking on cocks?
Haiku # 68919, November 26, 2020 5:53 pm ET
by Anonymous of Undisclosed
Let us be thankful
For Thanksgiving dumpster dives
Washed down with rot gut
Haiku # 68918, November 26, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by Attitude of Gratitude of Dumpster Fire
Darth you big sweetie,
You need a hug and a kiss.
Now GOBBLE, turkey.
Haiku # 68917, November 26, 2020 5:48 am ET
by Darth's Hairdresser's Boyfriend of Christopher St Nu Yawk
Covid restrictions?
Nah, gonna have an orgy
Not gonna comply
Haiku # 68916, November 26, 2020 4:21 am ET
by Lacklustre of The Brink
Horse fuckers were here
Billy goat fuckers were here
Snakes were fucked right here
Haiku # 68915, November 26, 2020 3:05 am ET
by DW of Satisfactory Condition
Grandpa fucked the bird
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving
If he fucked a ham
Haiku # 68914, November 25, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Why does my penis suddenly seem tired of Hunched over table
Darth, you're so campy.
You are not evil, just cute.
Like a huggy bear!
Haiku # 68913, November 25, 2020 10:18 pm ET
by Darth's Hairdresser of Fire Island
I'd like to present
this limited time offer
to stuff my turkey
Haiku # 68912, November 25, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by Andy Giblet of Down under
It ain't corona.
No fever or loss of taste.
Whores' ass tastes like shit.

If the whore you get
has dried snot on her butt cheeks,
that might have been me.

I went to the store.
Blew my nose into the air.
Hoped to kill old folks.
Haiku # 68911, November 25, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by Just imagine what I'd be like if I got AIDS! of That's the thing about "evil", it has no limits. And thank God for that!
Commodify THIS:
Anglo-Protestantism.
You LOVE it, don't you?
Haiku # 68910, November 25, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by Sit Back of Watch Demons Manifest
Unplanned pregnancy
Since I have no genitals
This is a surprise
Haiku # 68909, November 25, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by Inflatable Woman of Bedroom of a Lonely Man (Darth)
Thanksgiving lapdance
Cornucopia's bulging
Blunderbuss misfire
Haiku # 68908, November 25, 2020 12:24 pm ET
by Second Helping of Pants, please
When you least expect
lovable humanity
manifests in Darth.
Haiku # 68907, November 25, 2020 8:53 am ET
by Lost Credentials of Vile Live Evil Levi
The "Grand Reset" would be a fucking planet killing asteroid bigger than my ex's disgusting flabby ass.
All the Bidens and Gateses and Musks and "Libtards" and feminazis ain't resettin' shit. It's the same old same old humanity spiraling down into the abyss. The only good thing about the Trump & White Power boys is that the unending sewage waterslide of life kind of straightened out and went much faster towards our eventual doom.
Now with Biden about to be in power all that will happen is things will slow down again. Sad b/c I really wanted a nuclear war or something... Anything besides this boring old virus.
Haiku # 68906, November 25, 2020 6:27 am ET
by Oh, almost forgot... of *POOP!* Did you notice my asshole hovering over your face?
If you don't believe in The Dark Side of The Farts, then look inside my shorts. You won't find skid marks like that at the Indy 500!
Haiku # 68905, November 24, 2020 8:51 pm ET
by Yes, I'd like a 2nd helping of greenbean casserole please.
One two three four five.
And six seven eight nine ten.
Count hos on my toes.
Haiku # 68904, November 24, 2020 8:48 pm ET
by Should I give everyone corona at Thanksgiving dinner? of couse I should!
*White man.
Not "what man"... Jesus, my fast fingers. Har har har.
Haiku # 68903, November 24, 2020 8:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What man is bad because of Jesus Christ. You are correct. Welcome to the dark side, brethren... Funky Mucker. Henceforth you shall be called... Funky Mucker.
Haiku # 68902, November 24, 2020 8:43 pm ET
by I will teach you the ways of Dark Side of The Farts.
Ha! I got the first stages of rona! Gonna give it to 5 hos today. :-)
Haiku # 68901, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Feeling extra whorrendous today.
Noble Indians.
White man bad bad bad bad bad.
Because Jesus Christ.
Haiku # 68900, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Self-hating PC Puritan of Turkey Farm
No. The Great Reset
is humanity's new look.
Heaven. Without God
Haiku # 68899, November 24, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Sociopath Tyrant of World Affairs Commission
The doctor's visit:
Are you sexually active?
No, I just lay there
Haiku # 68898, November 24, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Patient of Examination Table
the great reset is
the satanic reordering
of our system
Haiku # 68897, November 24, 2020 3:57 pm ET
by vhs
well there's a bunch of
crazy "prophets" on youtube
and they do profit.
Haiku # 68896, November 24, 2020 3:52 pm ET
by vhs
why the fuck do i
come back on here only to
see the usual

criminal content
from the usual suspect
i was on twitter!
Haiku # 68895, November 24, 2020 3:40 pm ET
by vhs
Human Calculator
I just can't figure it out
Why you're so sexy
Haiku # 68894, November 24, 2020 2:50 pm ET
by X. Tramarital of Cheat Street
Half eternity
is like still eternity.
Which half do you want?
Haiku # 68893, November 24, 2020 8:07 am ET
by dw
All eternity
A turtle head poking out
Unfinished business
Haiku # 68892, November 24, 2020 3:35 am ET
by Unlucky of Pompeii
After work today
I think I'll go out whoring.
How many should I get?
Haiku # 68891, November 23, 2020 9:17 pm ET
by You tell me, and I'll do it! of Darth Sandwich with Extra "Mayo"
One two three four five six.
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stink outside the twat.
Haiku # 68890, November 23, 2020 9:14 pm ET
by dw
I poop on your rules.
Haiku are fucking stupid.
My balls are swollen.

I think full of pus.
I'll pop them like a pimple.
Right into your eye.
Haiku # 68889, November 23, 2020 9:08 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous, Esquire. of Sipping Tea w/ My Pinky Extended Like a Proper Gentleman.
Darth you have been warned:
obey strict syllabic rules
or face Haiku's wrath.
Haiku # 68888, November 23, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by Instead of Blathering on About Poop
We are the True Pedophiles!
Those freaks that fuck kids are pretenders!
I took a syringe of my spooge and dabbed it in hundreds of high dollar women's shoes at Macy's.
Sticky Foot Rebellion!
Haiku # 68887, November 23, 2020 6:22 pm ET
by Applying for a job at Reeboks of But need to move to China first.
Why in the hell aren't people with foot fetishes called pedophiles? The perverts stole a cool name! Sticky foot rebellion! Stop the steal!
Haiku # 68886, November 23, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by Sole Brothers Rise Up!
Jello Biafra:
Those crazy Dead Kennedys...
Rotting Vegetables.
Haiku # 68885, November 23, 2020 10:29 am ET
by Eric Boucher of Boulder CO
The new election:
Nude Jello wrestling death match.
Live on Pay-Per-View.
Haiku # 68884, November 23, 2020 9:20 am ET
by Call it Democrazy
like a cat vomit
pathetic orange hairball
better out than in
Haiku # 68883, November 23, 2020 1:21 am ET
by ash of not in the house
Needles in the groin.
Spank me with a spiked paddle.
Electrocute me.
Haiku # 68882, November 23, 2020 12:32 am ET
by I am so cute, I electrocute. of Tasty buttocks.
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