Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Thank God for turkey!
*Cough!* Pass the *Cough!* gravy, please.
Your wife has nice tits.

Well, I did my part.
Helping to spread the disease.
Elderly shall fall.

What will the whores do
when their sugar daddies die?
Find another fool.
Haiku # 68920, November 26, 2020 7:16 pm ET
by dw
Isn't it raw meat?
Can you get food poisoning
from sucking on cocks?
Haiku # 68919, November 26, 2020 5:53 pm ET
by Anonymous of Undisclosed
Let us be thankful
For Thanksgiving dumpster dives
Washed down with rot gut
Haiku # 68918, November 26, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by Attitude of Gratitude of Dumpster Fire
Darth you big sweetie,
You need a hug and a kiss.
Now GOBBLE, turkey.
Haiku # 68917, November 26, 2020 5:48 am ET
by Darth's Hairdresser's Boyfriend of Christopher St Nu Yawk
Covid restrictions?
Nah, gonna have an orgy
Not gonna comply
Haiku # 68916, November 26, 2020 4:21 am ET
by Lacklustre of The Brink
Horse fuckers were here
Billy goat fuckers were here
Snakes were fucked right here
Haiku # 68915, November 26, 2020 3:05 am ET
by DW of Satisfactory Condition
Grandpa fucked the bird
It wouldn't be Thanksgiving
If he fucked a ham
Haiku # 68914, November 25, 2020 11:36 pm ET
by Why does my penis suddenly seem tired of Hunched over table
Darth, you're so campy.
You are not evil, just cute.
Like a huggy bear!
Haiku # 68913, November 25, 2020 10:18 pm ET
by Darth's Hairdresser of Fire Island
I'd like to present
this limited time offer
to stuff my turkey
Haiku # 68912, November 25, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by Andy Giblet of Down under
It ain't corona.
No fever or loss of taste.
Whores' ass tastes like shit.

If the whore you get
has dried snot on her butt cheeks,
that might have been me.

I went to the store.
Blew my nose into the air.
Hoped to kill old folks.
Haiku # 68911, November 25, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by Just imagine what I'd be like if I got AIDS! of That's the thing about "evil", it has no limits. And thank God for that!
Commodify THIS:
Anglo-Protestantism.
You LOVE it, don't you?
Haiku # 68910, November 25, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by Sit Back of Watch Demons Manifest
Unplanned pregnancy
Since I have no genitals
This is a surprise
Haiku # 68909, November 25, 2020 6:23 pm ET
by Inflatable Woman of Bedroom of a Lonely Man (Darth)
Thanksgiving lapdance
Cornucopia's bulging
Blunderbuss misfire
Haiku # 68908, November 25, 2020 12:24 pm ET
by Second Helping of Pants, please
When you least expect
lovable humanity
manifests in Darth.
Haiku # 68907, November 25, 2020 8:53 am ET
by Lost Credentials of Vile Live Evil Levi
The "Grand Reset" would be a fucking planet killing asteroid bigger than my ex's disgusting flabby ass.
All the Bidens and Gateses and Musks and "Libtards" and feminazis ain't resettin' shit. It's the same old same old humanity spiraling down into the abyss. The only good thing about the Trump & White Power boys is that the unending sewage waterslide of life kind of straightened out and went much faster towards our eventual doom.
Now with Biden about to be in power all that will happen is things will slow down again. Sad b/c I really wanted a nuclear war or something... Anything besides this boring old virus.
Haiku # 68906, November 25, 2020 6:27 am ET
by Oh, almost forgot... of *POOP!* Did you notice my asshole hovering over your face?
If you don't believe in The Dark Side of The Farts, then look inside my shorts. You won't find skid marks like that at the Indy 500!
Haiku # 68905, November 24, 2020 8:51 pm ET
by Yes, I'd like a 2nd helping of greenbean casserole please.
One two three four five.
And six seven eight nine ten.
Count hos on my toes.
Haiku # 68904, November 24, 2020 8:48 pm ET
by Should I give everyone corona at Thanksgiving dinner? of couse I should!
*White man.
Not "what man"... Jesus, my fast fingers. Har har har.
Haiku # 68903, November 24, 2020 8:45 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What man is bad because of Jesus Christ. You are correct. Welcome to the dark side, brethren... Funky Mucker. Henceforth you shall be called... Funky Mucker.
Haiku # 68902, November 24, 2020 8:43 pm ET
by I will teach you the ways of Dark Side of The Farts.
Ha! I got the first stages of rona! Gonna give it to 5 hos today. :-)
Haiku # 68901, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Feeling extra whorrendous today.
Noble Indians.
White man bad bad bad bad bad.
Because Jesus Christ.
Haiku # 68900, November 24, 2020 8:38 pm ET
by Self-hating PC Puritan of Turkey Farm
No. The Great Reset
is humanity's new look.
Heaven. Without God
Haiku # 68899, November 24, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Sociopath Tyrant of World Affairs Commission
The doctor's visit:
Are you sexually active?
No, I just lay there
Haiku # 68898, November 24, 2020 7:34 pm ET
by Patient of Examination Table
the great reset is
the satanic reordering
of our system
Haiku # 68897, November 24, 2020 3:57 pm ET
by vhs
well there's a bunch of
crazy "prophets" on youtube
and they do profit.
Haiku # 68896, November 24, 2020 3:52 pm ET
by vhs
why the fuck do i
come back on here only to
see the usual

criminal content
from the usual suspect
i was on twitter!
Haiku # 68895, November 24, 2020 3:40 pm ET
by vhs
Human Calculator
I just can't figure it out
Why you're so sexy
Haiku # 68894, November 24, 2020 2:50 pm ET
by X. Tramarital of Cheat Street
Half eternity
is like still eternity.
Which half do you want?
Haiku # 68893, November 24, 2020 8:07 am ET
by dw
All eternity
A turtle head poking out
Unfinished business
Haiku # 68892, November 24, 2020 3:35 am ET
by Unlucky of Pompeii
After work today
I think I'll go out whoring.
How many should I get?
Haiku # 68891, November 23, 2020 9:17 pm ET
by You tell me, and I'll do it! of Darth Sandwich with Extra "Mayo"
One two three four five six.
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Stink outside the twat.
Haiku # 68890, November 23, 2020 9:14 pm ET
by dw
I poop on your rules.
Haiku are fucking stupid.
My balls are swollen.

I think full of pus.
I'll pop them like a pimple.
Right into your eye.
Haiku # 68889, November 23, 2020 9:08 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous, Esquire. of Sipping Tea w/ My Pinky Extended Like a Proper Gentleman.
Darth you have been warned:
obey strict syllabic rules
or face Haiku's wrath.
Haiku # 68888, November 23, 2020 8:05 pm ET
by Instead of Blathering on About Poop
We are the True Pedophiles!
Those freaks that fuck kids are pretenders!
I took a syringe of my spooge and dabbed it in hundreds of high dollar women's shoes at Macy's.
Sticky Foot Rebellion!
Haiku # 68887, November 23, 2020 6:22 pm ET
by Applying for a job at Reeboks of But need to move to China first.
Why in the hell aren't people with foot fetishes called pedophiles? The perverts stole a cool name! Sticky foot rebellion! Stop the steal!
Haiku # 68886, November 23, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by Sole Brothers Rise Up!
Jello Biafra:
Those crazy Dead Kennedys...
Rotting Vegetables.
Haiku # 68885, November 23, 2020 10:29 am ET
by Eric Boucher of Boulder CO
The new election:
Nude Jello wrestling death match.
Live on Pay-Per-View.
Haiku # 68884, November 23, 2020 9:20 am ET
by Call it Democrazy
like a cat vomit
pathetic orange hairball
better out than in
Haiku # 68883, November 23, 2020 1:21 am ET
by ash of not in the house
Needles in the groin.
Spank me with a spiked paddle.
Electrocute me.
Haiku # 68882, November 23, 2020 12:32 am ET
by I am so cute, I electrocute. of Tasty buttocks.
Pedophilia.
Great way to start a haiku.
Eat them when it's done.
Haiku # 68881, November 23, 2020 12:25 am ET
by Albert Fish of You can tune a piano, but you can't tune A. Fish.
Thanksgiving guest
You look nice, Mr. Dreyfuss
Pass the potatoes
Haiku # 68880, November 22, 2020 9:11 pm ET
by 1-900-CLOSE ENCOUNTERS of Threesome Kind
Dusting off dry bones
High fructose destination
Diabetic ghoul
Haiku # 68879, November 22, 2020 8:39 pm ET
by Supercalifragilisticketoacidosis of The disturbed grave of Wilfred Brimley
Alone in the zone.
I searched in vain for poets.
Just haiku and me.
Haiku # 68878, November 22, 2020 7:49 pm ET
by Where Did Everyone Go? of Was It All a Dream?
Wilfred we see you.
We know where you make gravy.
You are monitored.
Haiku # 68877, November 22, 2020 5:44 pm ET
by Haiku Surveillance of Central Intelligence Urgency
Passing butt gravy
Whilst writing some bad haiku
Just like all of you
Haiku # 68876, November 22, 2020 5:18 pm ET
by Wilfred Brimley
Get over here NOW.
Write some bloody haiku verse.
Or admit I won.
Haiku # 68875, November 22, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by Competitive Blood-sport of Haiku
Check pictures with cars.
Then check pictures with crosswalks.
Check your sanity.
Haiku # 68874, November 22, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Write me a Check of Generous Amount
WE NEED TO LISTEN.
WE SHOULD LISTEN TO CHINA.
LISTEN IN ALL CAPS.
Haiku # 68873, November 22, 2020 8:06 am ET
by Human Rights Commission of Untied Notions
Y'all home Uncle Clem?
Are you there? Kin I come in?
Uncle Clem-- OH LORD !
Haiku # 68872, November 22, 2020 7:59 am ET
by Appalachian Crime Scene Memories
Wind sighs in the grove
The carp-pool surface ripples . . .
The warm corpse bleeds out.
Haiku # 68871, November 22, 2020 7:57 am ET
by Serial Haiku of Homicidal Lyricism
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