must read bad haiku
many people write each day
what will happen next?

well it's time to go
man can't live by haiku alone.
later for you guys

describe what happens
when you go use the bathroom,
then watch people cringe

I'm in a payphone
and some lady's in distress
Damn, this zipper's stuck

The moon hits your eye
like a big pizza pie, that's...
gonna leave a bruise.

My razzmatazz jazz
it has much pizzazz whereas
I am just a spaz

no food to be found--
maybe i can break my pen
and chug the red ink!

Hippies really smell
no I don't have a quarter
you smelly hippie

Scratchin' my thing thing
Lotto!!, I've got cha-ching ching
I flex the bling bling

lunch time yum yum yum
veggies, seared flesh, pasta mix
make gaseous emissions

kinky intercourse
insert broccoli casserole
email to Penthouse

Went to the bart mart
bought Simpsonian fart art
I'm off the smart chart

A large iron buttplug
found in the bedroom closet
caused angry divorce

magic sandwich stamps
please provide me with your gift
appease tape worm god

yo momma got a yeast infection
she eat lots of yogurt
like taking care of an old fireplace

las manitas for
gorditas next wednesday at
half past eleven

forgot lunch again
eat bag of Hickory Sticks(tm)
and hot strong coffee

I am swedish man
I come from my swedish land
Where we lost wee-willy

dorm rooms stifle thought
irate room-mates, bad karma
find off-campus room

I am but a fool!
Sitting by your stool {rules ha..}
I could rule the world..

This is bat country,
Give me the fly swatter, now!
The poor Bastard...

The real deal (a trip).
Inspite of gonzo, mad cat,
The driver was lit!

supercalifrag
ilisticexpiala
docious. atrocious!

If the dark skies
Were Nigthmares, Bad Unrest,
Bad Insomnia

The Trumpets blare
The Legions enter with ease
The Walls crumble down

if wishes were trees
i would be a lumberjack
in the great white north

I sound the great horn
To wake the dead, the mummies.
We march on Egypt

I am Holly
I like granola bars
I am jolly

You're just saying that.
My poop brownies are awesome!
Believe that shit, yo

brownies look like poop
but they do taste much better
if they're not real poop

before using plaster
fill the hole with pizza box.
confound future folk.

Truth made obvious
Chumbawumba had one hit
I need a shower

Keep the noise down, son.
And here's some plaster patches.
Get to work, have fun.

sound of a floor lamp
swung through clean white dorm room wall
soothes the broken heart

I once had a vat
and it was full of dead cats
imagine the smell...

i once had bat
to use on cat
when sofa had pee

Before I pooh, I thank
Myself for
Making it.

i once had a cat
that wrote very bad haiku
and slept on a mat.

I once had a rat
who got eaten by a cat
what a bad haiku

bad is good baby
this line is not meaningless
down with government

Don't you live
Abstemiously,
You quitter!

"To be or
not to be; that is
the question."

i heart john cusack
and indiana jones, too
but i can't heart you.

memepool's spell
draws like shiny thing.
job peril

commas, periods
these are the tools of my trade
i edit them well

fading dot.com glow
like the spot on my tele
when i turn it off

searching for the words
to illuminate our world
i burnt my fingers

no more jesus jokes
lose that crucifixation
crossed out completely

sinking through the sand
rescuing a large sea hare
admiring the view

"Hey look!" said Jesus.
"Check out my fish and loaves trick."
Pah! I could do that.