BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
195 Days
and
67570 Haikus
later...
Softly chirping bird
Seeking sustenance, support
Partner soars at dawn
Haiku #67173, by MONARCH
March 31, 2020 11:13 pm ET

seen statues of pan?
unoriginal christians
rebranded old gods

jesus wasn't new
just another demigod
jewish hercules

garden of eden
first babylonian myth
then jews riffed on it

then st. augustine:
"sex is sin, jesus is pure"
(because, virgin birth)

results: repression
hatred of sex, nature
and burning witches
Haiku #67172, by scotch of the atheist your mom warned you about
March 31, 2020 11:10 pm ET

It's Bible Study
With Ben! Hey... why are you both
Scowling at me now?
Haiku #67171, by Ben Adam of equity: making everyone equally uncomfortable
March 31, 2020 11:01 pm ET

satan's much better
he's earthy, loves sex, music
(also fictional)
Haiku #67170, by scotch of hail seitan
March 31, 2020 11:01 pm ET

Where there's a Father
There is also a Mother
That's who gives birth, duh
Haiku #67169, by Ben Adam of "Mainstream" Christianity is Satanic
March 31, 2020 10:37 pm ET

Spirit births spirit
And flesh begets flesh - and thus
God indeed: Spirit
Haiku #67168, by Ben Adam of Romans 1;3-4
March 31, 2020 10:21 pm ET

You'll get straightened out
When you meet the Trinity.
So save those questions.
Haiku #67167, by Stay Mad of Stay Saved
March 31, 2020 10:06 pm ET

but "god and jesus"?
get your mythology straight
holy ghost: missing
Haiku #67166, by scotch of jesus is the son of God, and is God too, and so is his own dad who he sent to sacrifice himself to himself to absolve us of is o
March 31, 2020 5:30 pm ET

i'm triggered by fools
not even specific ones
just the aggregate
Haiku #67165, by scotch of you're not special
March 31, 2020 5:27 pm ET

Ooooh. You are triggered.
Triggered by God and Jesus.
I sorry for you !
Haiku #67164, by Stay Mad of Stay Glad
March 31, 2020 3:20 pm ET

I'm stupid? So what?
That's just how Jesus wants me
His flock of dumb sheep
Haiku #67163, by Buddah
March 31, 2020 1:01 pm ET

You are all stupid
Dumbest bunch of asshole rot
Worse than infowars
Haiku #67162, by Jesus is lard
March 31, 2020 10:35 am ET

I like bad haiku
It comes out very easy
Unless syllables
Haiku #67161, by Anonymous Poet
March 31, 2020 12:01 am ET

i like poop lolrip
it comes out very easy
unless constipate
Haiku #67160, by taeko of zurich, ch
March 30, 2020 4:02 pm ET

How you like Mao now?
Old Joe and Hunter Biden?
How much $ you get?
Haiku #67159, by Dead Communist Bastard Che of Communist Hell
March 30, 2020 1:59 pm ET

Evil G.D Chicoms
And all socialist bastards
Scourge of the whole world!
Haiku #67158, by Dead Communist Bastard Che of Communist Hell
March 30, 2020 1:54 pm ET

Meghan and Harry
Moved to LA
and got jobs at the
zooby zooby ZOO
Haiku #67157, by Bill Windsor of London
March 30, 2020 12:46 pm ET

i'm not a robot
but what if perhaps i am
and lying to you
Haiku #67156, by ash
March 30, 2020 7:35 am ET

the world will go on
culling this large contagion
that's making it sick
Haiku #67155, by ash
March 30, 2020 7:31 am ET

vonnegut was right
a plague of tiny chinese
and the west is fucked
Haiku #67154, by ash
March 30, 2020 7:23 am ET

So its here- today,
The Communist death virus
How you like Mao now?

It will go on months
Or maybe even for years
Hold them to account
Haiku #67153, by Dead Communist bastard Che of Communist Hell
March 30, 2020 2:01 am ET

but the phucuphone
is an instrument we'll play
when you pedal steel

this is the temple
merchants are not welcome here
beat your drums elsewhere
Haiku #67152, by scotch of bye ashley
March 30, 2020 1:50 am ET

We are connected to prime opportunity for sales merchandise. Yuonxi steel industries can provide for global sector of shut the fuck up
Haiku #67151, by Yuonxi Steal of Shut the F Up
March 28, 2020 3:26 pm ET


The glucophone is a conductor to the engrossed aver of impromptu improvisation. Because of this break-up in everyday soul, we infiltrate the â
Haiku #67150, by AshleyRiz
March 28, 2020 2:09 pm ET

This is serious.
It's about HAIKU or DEATH.
Unpoetic death.
Haiku #67149, by Pukka Sahib of Seppuku
March 28, 2020 1:02 pm ET

Ashley, we don't care
about your silly tank drums.
Bang your drums elsewhere.
Haiku #67148, by Write Haiku or GET OUT
March 28, 2020 9:26 am ET

Get off my damn lawn
Get off my damn lawn dammit
Get off my damn lawn
Haiku #67147, by Anonymous Poet
March 28, 2020 8:20 am ET


In Europe and America, they are called steel vernacular drums or tank drums. The glucophone has a pentatonic echo pattern in three octaves, so any notes, which were played, harmoniously sound with each other. This means that to sport this tool there is no demand to have on the agenda c trick a lilting education, it is ample supply to take a sense of rhythm. They be a party to b manipulate it with both hands and sticks (they are a tip object of the whatsit). The agency is a vast and economical alternative to the recoil from drum and is proficient to appeal anyone who even long ago touches its sounding.
The glucophone is mythical for the development of hearing and time, helps to decrease, tune into meditation and overwhelm into the waves of dulcet vibrations.
Glucophone is a to a great extent childish musical gadget that appeared in the 2000s. In the face this, it has fit very in fashion in the midst people of any seniority, because even a insignificant stripling can gamble it.


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Haiku #67146, by Ashleyphync
March 28, 2020 2:09 am ET

Context is just that:
a text I use to con you.
See? That was easy.
Haiku #67145, by Lexicon of The Rubicon
March 27, 2020 3:39 pm ET

First define context
Make sure to give me context
To get the context
Haiku #67144, by Context of Context
March 27, 2020 12:06 pm ET


The "self-evident"
Is your biased assumption.
Context is needed.
Haiku #67143, by Boring Analyses of Insomnia
March 27, 2020 4:25 am ET

Hey, what's the deal with
Explanations? Can't things just
Be self evident?
Haiku #67142, by Jerry Seinfeld of 10 hits of acid
March 26, 2020 9:06 pm ET

so, near death visions?
have you ever taken shrooms?
they'll mess with your mind
Haiku #67141, by scotch of untied states of reality
March 26, 2020 6:31 pm ET


OK freethinkers...
With materialist wit,
Explain N.D.Es
Haiku #67140, by Near Darth Experience
March 26, 2020 2:52 pm ET

you don't see what is
you see what your brain tells you
sometimes it glitches
Haiku #67139, by scotch of did you turn it off and on again?
March 26, 2020 11:07 am ET

OK you smarties
With laser-focused reason:
Explain O.B.Es
Haiku #67138, by Out of Body Experience
March 26, 2020 9:58 am ET

i made up a god
it's all-powerful and stuff
she says to shut up
Haiku #67137, by scotch of yea, God has spoken through me
March 26, 2020 1:46 am ET

atheism is
not believing in dumb shit
just because it's old
Haiku #67136, by scotch of untied states of the wedge issues
March 26, 2020 1:41 am ET

Let's eat some ice cream.
Take a lick and pass it down.
Sharing is caring.
Haiku #67135, by of of of
March 25, 2020 9:23 pm ET

Anyone here get corona yet?
I tried to get it but I guess I need to try harder.
It's what we all deserve.
Haiku #67134, by of of of
March 25, 2020 8:33 pm ET

Atheism is
One way to get people to
Relinquish their rights
Haiku #67133, by The Declaration of Independence
March 25, 2020 8:07 pm ET

Atheism's fine
If you like futility
devoid of meaning . . .
Haiku #67132, by Richard Dawkin of Squawkin
March 25, 2020 11:14 am ET

Elon Musk in cave:
He bangs two stones together.
The Future is NOW !
Haiku #67131, by Technocratic Cave-Dwellers Unite
March 25, 2020 11:11 am ET

We can get through this
thank God for atheism
Prayer will not fix it
Haiku #67130, by Sonny Bono
March 25, 2020 11:11 am ET

Elon Musk smokes blunt:
"Yo my nigga!" not racist
He's an African
Haiku #67129, by Anonymous Poet
March 25, 2020 2:11 am ET

All poodles are dogs
But not all dogs are poodles
Tech augments user
Haiku #67128, by Fan of The Cheese Poodles
March 25, 2020 2:08 am ET

Ay Macarena
Aqui esta con tequila
Ay Macarena
Haiku #67127, by donâ of Earth 2.0
March 24, 2020 11:43 pm ET

Doubt the narrative.
Follow the Soros-money.
Technocrats gotcha!
Haiku #67126, by AI is the Beast of Prophecy
March 24, 2020 4:09 pm ET

save all the airlines!
pump money into the banks!
socialism? nooo....
Haiku #67125, by scotch of technically it's a kleptocracy
March 24, 2020 3:41 pm ET

here we go again
the middle-class will get scraps
the rich get bailouts
Haiku #67124, by scotch of party like it's 2008
March 24, 2020 3:37 pm ET