BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
350 Days
and
68533 Haikus
later...
Congratulations!
And they hired you on the spot!
Dildo Factory
Haiku #65060, by Dong
June 24, 2019 2:51 pm ET

A breath of fresh air.
Something other than that slop
From Farth Digpucker !
Haiku #65059, by O Joyous Day !
June 24, 2019 12:34 pm ET

The bank feeder line
is a much more efficient
waiting procedure.
Haiku #65058, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:58 am ET

He just wanted love.
They all wanted his body.
So he become fat.
Haiku #65057, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:54 am ET

You need more money.
Go earn one million dollars.
It won't be enough.
Haiku #65056, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:51 am ET

She painted pictures.
But no one knew what they were.
Strangely, nor did she.
Haiku #65055, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:49 am ET

Never cheat in school.
Try your best to learn it all.
Even the dull stuff.
Haiku #65054, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:48 am ET

It is all a lie!
Well, except that part about...
well, I think you know.
Haiku #65053, by Anonymous Poet
June 24, 2019 8:44 am ET

Microscopic proof
Debris under fingernails
Leads us to your dink
Haiku #65052, by Miranda Rights of Conjugal visit with your hand
June 23, 2019 7:03 am ET

I do not love you.
In fact, I think I hate you.
Let's get a divorce.
Haiku #65051, by http://www.orr-law.com/ of Newark, NJ
June 23, 2019 5:50 am ET

Mouthwash means brainwash.
Sex-brain is brain down the drain.
Drain leads to Darth's soul.
Haiku #65050, by Old Hermit of Mountain
June 23, 2019 12:43 am ET

Please, I need mouthwash.
Just a little more sweet jizz!
Like flowers blooming.

I sound like Chewie!
Now kiss me, Princess Leia.
Taste the Nerfherder.
Haiku #65049, by Grahrgleglegsslllararrrl of Gulp.
June 23, 2019 12:34 am ET

If you fuck a goat
while a donkey's fucking you,
that's multitasking!
Haiku #65048, by Darth Figpucker
June 23, 2019 12:29 am ET

Peter Dinklage s Dong
Stands erect in my garden
Superb garden gnome
Haiku #65047, by Tremendous of Tremendous
June 23, 2019 12:17 am ET

Some define Haiku
as depicting Nature's peace.
I say fuck that shit...
Haiku #65046, by Earth-Mother is Overrated
June 22, 2019 8:44 pm ET

Intimidating
Approaching the urinal
His ding dong shrivels
Haiku #65045, by Now watch me pee of Now watch me nay nay
June 22, 2019 5:59 pm ET

Pull on your ding dong
Like that old Hunchback in France
Ringing the church bells
Haiku #65044, by Batty of Belfry
June 22, 2019 5:08 pm ET

Darth keeps telling me
to jerk off yet one more time...
but not enough jizz.
Haiku #65043, by Prostatic Problems of Seminal Importance
June 22, 2019 2:07 pm ET

Led Zeppelin rocks!
It's "In My Time of Dying"
that reveals the Christ.
Haiku #65042, by Bonzo's Bass Drum's Mother-in-Law of Slide Guitar
June 22, 2019 2:04 pm ET

Attention poets
If my poems arouse you
Feel free to jerk off
Haiku #65041, by Pull five times. Stop. Pull 7 times of Pull 5 more times
June 22, 2019 12:21 pm ET

Now available
Octopus ejaculate
Undersea kefir
Haiku #65040, by Clam Molester of Take a guess
June 22, 2019 9:55 am ET

Australian outback
I m boofing a kangaroo
Dink didgeridoo
Haiku #65039, by Spunk
June 22, 2019 9:52 am ET

Australian outback
I
Haiku #65038, by Spunk
June 22, 2019 9:52 am ET

lifted up gods skirt
And saw satans vagina
jacked off with jesus
Haiku #65037, by I'm a child of divorce give me a break
June 22, 2019 9:03 am ET

Sifting through junk mail
I came across your letter
Now the ink is smeared
Haiku #65036, by Messy
June 22, 2019 2:11 am ET

The wedding is off
Cancel my subscription too
Ball Cheese of the Month
Haiku #65035, by Shamegamah O of Cork
June 22, 2019 2:09 am ET

Take off all your clothes
Now assume the position
5,4,3,2,1....
Haiku #65034, by Liftoff of To the Moon on the end of my shoe
June 22, 2019 2:05 am ET

Crazy Italians
Lugging around big noses
Wooden spoon bitch slap
Haiku #65033, by What of Church
June 22, 2019 2:02 am ET

"Whoop" ????
Just what in the fuck is that supposed to be?!
Are you a juggalo?
boofing Jim Beam?
Peeling off syphilis scab?
Eating them like beef jerky?
Slim Jim and Colt 45.
Haiku #65032, by BifurcatingPoo
June 22, 2019 1:38 am ET

A fancy gift box
Inside: A gooey old dink
Walt Whitman s Sampler
Haiku #65031, by Poet of Know it
June 21, 2019 11:33 pm ET

Billy Nippress reads Walt Whitman as Ash weeps in the corner wearing his Union Jack Speedo. Both with heavy hearts contemplating their StarWars themed wedding of over a decade ago......
Haiku #65030, by Iamback
June 21, 2019 5:09 pm ET

Ash and Nippress......little mistress, eating curds and whey...... Starwars wedding with Jawa peoples.....pooples dooples...Jabba The Janet......whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop
Haiku #65029, by Iamback
June 21, 2019 5:03 pm ET

watched from a distance
Illusion of slow motion
I watch you disrobe
Haiku #65028, by Peeping Tom of Jerking off in haste and in your bushes
June 21, 2019 4:46 pm ET

Pies cooling on sill
Along comes a tired hobo
The filling is poop
Haiku #65027, by Shamegmah O'Toole of Peeking
June 21, 2019 4:43 pm ET

Face down in the trough
Perfecting his art each day
The cunnilinguist
Haiku #65026, by Within Earshot of Troughslurper
June 21, 2019 4:39 pm ET

Theresa May Leaves,
And Is Replaced By Boris.
The Pantomime Continues.
Haiku #65025, by I am sick of Brexit
June 21, 2019 3:49 pm ET

Beware of assholes
Who fuck up their teeth real bad
But blame the dentist
Haiku #65024, by A penis is not a toothbrush
June 21, 2019 1:29 pm ET

Gilligan s Island
Cream Pie Cooperative
Extra ginger please
Haiku #65023, by 3 hour tour of My pants
June 20, 2019 12:46 am ET

The zipper ripper
With Gilligan and Skipper
A real round tripper
Haiku #65022, by Jack the Zipper
June 19, 2019 11:24 pm ET

I d post my photo
But there is no reason to
I look just like you
Haiku #65021, by Ugly
June 19, 2019 9:57 pm ET

I
Haiku #65020, by Ugly
June 19, 2019 9:56 pm ET

Worm in tequila
Earthworm in his urethra
Aphrodisiac
Haiku #65019, by Lavatory Laureate of Lavatory
June 19, 2019 7:24 pm ET

Tonsillectomy
Nineteen seventy-seven
Took the adenoids too
Haiku #65018, by Tonsil free of no tonsil section
June 19, 2019 7:22 pm ET

He let an earthworm
crawl into his urethra.
It never came out.
Haiku #65017, by BifurcatingPoo of Wormy Spermy
June 19, 2019 5:03 am ET

Would you like some wine?
Seems you could really use it.
To wash down my SPERM.

Clumpy and rotting,
clinging like an octopus,
It tears your tonsils.
Haiku #65016, by BifurcatingPoo
June 19, 2019 5:01 am ET

I really don't mind if you sit this one out.
My word's but a whisper, your deafness a shout.
I may make you feel, but I can't make you think.
Your SPERM's in the gutter, your love's in the sink.
Haiku #65015, by Sir Ian of No, not the senate.
June 19, 2019 4:55 am ET

Bad haiku is real.
These are haiku and they're bad.
What more do you want?!

You're such a princess.
Shall I fluff your pillow, dear.
How 'bout a foot rub.
Haiku #65014, by BifurcatingPoo
June 19, 2019 3:36 am ET

Chased by a wild boar
Then I see you defecate
By a rotting stump
Haiku #65013, by The Dream
June 19, 2019 1:30 am ET

You know my weakness
Casual sex on the roof
Of your Subaru
Haiku #65012, by How do? of Summer isle
June 18, 2019 9:56 pm ET

As I was saying,
Bad Haiku is massive fake
and Darth's mouthwash = sperm
Haiku #65011, by Sweet Baby Jesus of the Heavenly Manger
June 18, 2019 9:49 pm ET