Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 42 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

In Haight-Ashbury
Unlovely truth was beheld:
Speed freaks and burn-outs.
Haiku # 64074, April 21, 2019 6:13 am ET
by Freako Frisco Sicko of 1967
New Age "light" ain't shit.
It's fake. Luciferian.
Luci-Lite. Get it?
Haiku # 64073, April 21, 2019 6:05 am ET
by Oneness of All Aligns the Chakras of the Collective Christ-spirit of Impending Aquarian Earth-changes etc.
It's time to partake
in the Pagan rites of solstice.
Praise be to Jesus!

Rabbits, eggs, and stuff.
Chocolate fertility dance.
Hmmm... do you think that

Jesus ever danced the
Hava Nagila?

Praise be His Holy Name.
(Since we're departing from 5-7-5.)
Haiku # 64072, April 21, 2019 6:05 am ET
by TTGFP
No, I've been
contemplating
yo' momma's navel.

Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64071, April 21, 2019 5:58 am ET
by TTGFP
It appears you've been
Contemplating your navel
Look me in the eyes
Haiku # 64070, April 21, 2019 5:30 am ET
by I him of Apparition
the love n light is within sight feelings of the truth spirit within allowing love and light to begin
Haiku # 64069, April 21, 2019 5:09 am ET
by Not As Worried as You Think of Originality
Dear Lord, save my soul.
What's with all this hippies shite?
Haight and Ashbury.

Grateful to be dead.
Do not mess with Major Tom.
Old Junkie's advice.
Haiku # 64068, April 21, 2019 4:21 am ET
by Heed.
and the earth mother said love b
Haiku # 64067, April 21, 2019 3:45 am ET
by True Herstory of My Milk
My love wasn't appreciated for its pure essence so I left without leaving a message
Haiku # 64066, April 21, 2019 2:03 am ET
by TRULY LOVD YOU of NO MORE CHAIN OF FOOLS..this one broke away early.
Night of peaceful native chants. Some sons keep their word and the melody is beautiful to mine ears. Return unto me my love...I wept and still do. Yet I shine as the drum beats...I AM ALIVE sons...
Haiku # 64065, April 21, 2019 2:00 am ET
by RETURNUNTOME of LOSERS HAV TO CHEAT>>ORIGINAL MOTHER IS NATURAL AND HAS NO NEED TO REPLICA FOR SHE IS EVE..
Step One: you forgive
Step Two: they forgive you too
Step Three: I don't know
Haiku # 64064, April 21, 2019 1:42 am ET
by Ben
Love is agony
Which can occasionally
Be pleasurable
Haiku # 64063, April 21, 2019 1:39 am ET
by MANMOTH
Wings swollen with blood
Colors imagination
Ritual begins
Haiku # 64062, April 21, 2019 1:37 am ET
by MONARCH
Not sure if I want
To escape or find myself
Quite a dilemma
Haiku # 64061, April 21, 2019 1:34 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Sun sure seems happy
For a raging fusion power
Plasma inferno
Haiku # 64060, April 21, 2019 1:31 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Crickets chirp listen
Simple insects perform well
Celebrating life
Haiku # 64059, April 21, 2019 1:28 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
When light shines brightly
Total darkness disappears
Takes much energy
Haiku # 64058, April 21, 2019 1:25 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
The anxiety
Is payback for wasted time
Wake or decompose
Haiku # 64057, April 21, 2019 1:24 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Birth canal opens
Mother screams torture of love
Better make her proud
Haiku # 64056, April 21, 2019 1:22 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Hell basement spiders
Blood gangbang spiritual puke
Death birth second chance
Haiku # 64055, April 21, 2019 1:21 am ET
by Anomalous Poet
Who got the sandals?
There's still some wear left in those
Jesus got big feet
Haiku # 64054, April 21, 2019 12:26 am ET
by Size hello there
Grandpa loved wild birds
They perched on his stiff penis
Until it went limp
Haiku # 64053, April 21, 2019 12:24 am ET
by Bad Seed
They had hankerings
They were first cousins. So what?
Nothing wrong with that
Haiku # 64052, April 21, 2019 12:22 am ET
by Urges
Christ's resurrection --
still, Darth's thinkin' with his dick.
Some things never change . . .
Haiku # 64051, April 20, 2019 10:40 pm ET
by Who is that TTGFP ? of I wanted to thank her/him
Approximately
Give or take a few inches
You got a small one
Haiku # 64050, April 20, 2019 4:50 pm ET
by Ruler of the world
Look at it this way
Haiku keeps your mind active
A worthwhile pastime
Haiku # 64049, April 20, 2019 3:25 pm ET
by William Nippress
Hippopotamus
Pygmy Hippopotamus
Which one makes more poop?
Haiku # 64048, April 20, 2019 2:56 pm ET
by Quiz
one day you will see
Haiku is a waste of time
Masturbate instead
Haiku # 64047, April 20, 2019 2:41 pm ET
by Former poet of Washing hands
Crusty bloody scabs
Keep them as souvenirs
To remember me
Haiku # 64046, April 20, 2019 2:37 pm ET
by Exududent debris
Go ahead, eat ham.
It keeps the Muslims away.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64045, April 20, 2019 10:23 am ET
by TTGFP
The Pagan puff-ball
bearing psychedelic eggs.
Praise be to Jesus!

Spoiled little brats
on quests for tie-dye ova.
Praise be to Jesus!

Little do they know
they had better find Jesus!
Praise His Holy Name!
Haiku # 64044, April 20, 2019 10:20 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
will not save your wretched soul.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64043, April 20, 2019 10:15 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
did not roll away a rock.
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64042, April 20, 2019 10:14 am ET
by TTGFP
The Easter Bunny
is not real, but Jesus is!
Praise be to Jesus!
Haiku # 64041, April 20, 2019 10:11 am ET
by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess of Ah, but then it's hard to find a marshmallow filled chocolate Jesus on the Cross, now isn't it.
Marie Antoinette
Stopped sucking my dick one day
Never found out why
Haiku # 64040, April 20, 2019 9:29 am ET
by End of The world
Get down on your knees
Pray.. Stand up..Pray. Stand up. Pray.
Stand up. Pray. Stand up
Haiku # 64039, April 20, 2019 8:04 am ET
by Stan D. Upanishad of No toucha da mushrooms
Due to drain problem,
Goddess had to call plumber.
Man fixed it for her.
Haiku # 64038, April 20, 2019 6:20 am ET
by Goddess needs a Babysitter or next Weekend
You have overused
That old John-Boy Walton shtick.
Find some new content.
Haiku # 64037, April 20, 2019 6:09 am ET
by Goodnight, Haiku of Harmonica Melody
John Boy Walton's Mole
Looking forward to baked ham
With all the fixings
Haiku # 64036, April 20, 2019 3:02 am ET
by God is Good of Walton's Mountain
A block of sharp cheese
Distinct tang reminiscent
Of Grandfather's taint
Haiku # 64035, April 20, 2019 12:16 am ET
by Cuntfart Cuntfart of Cunt
The monster rattles
the bars of his cage for now.
Jesus help us all!
Haiku # 64034, April 20, 2019 12:03 am ET
by TTGFP
Just ate "Food for The Gods" pastry.
Overrated.
Glad I'll burn in hell.... Okay, back to vacation.
Haiku # 64033, April 19, 2019 11:59 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
He followed the rules
Only beat off in his room
Drowned in the spew
Haiku # 64032, April 19, 2019 11:58 pm ET
by Noticer of Details
A meatless marriage
Not enough for leftovers
Unsatisfying
Haiku # 64031, April 19, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Rural Guido of No toucha da mushrooms
So... Looking for a dish drying rack. You know, the kind you set by the side of the sink and put the dishes and silverware in it to dry that drips down and drains into the sink. Really fucking simple, yeah. But it's nowhere to be found. I mean, all these dish drying racks all just have a tub under them and don't allow the water to drain off. I mean, how fucking stupid can these Asians be?! Seriously! Something so basic, so standard, so obvious in how it should work, how it should be designed. They can't do it. Why?! Why?! WHY!?!?!!????!!!!!!!
Bunch of fucking backwards primitive barbarians!
I should have moved to Europe.
Spiritual note to self for future reincarnations: Don't fuck monkeys. Just don't.
Haiku # 64030, April 19, 2019 11:55 pm ET
by Yes, I lied, 2 weeks not up yet.... bu this is a rant, not a haiku. Deal with it you weird motherfuckers.
Don't have a condom?
Use aluminum foil
Will keep your meat fresh
Haiku # 64029, April 19, 2019 11:37 pm ET
by Short of Breath
Sidle up to bar
And vomiting poetry
Drinking Bad Haiku
Haiku # 64028, April 19, 2019 11:24 pm ET
by Anomalous Poet
were all going to die 5-7-5
Haiku # 64027, April 19, 2019 11:21 pm ET
by WATERGAZED of ARARATTHEMOUNT
You cheat at haiku
If you count your syllables
It's 5-7-5
Haiku # 64026, April 19, 2019 10:08 pm ET
by That' my phone number I just met u of Call me maybe
Hey get over it
Somebody cheated on you
Guess what? No one cares
Haiku # 64025, April 19, 2019 10:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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