Hippopotamus
Pygmy Hippopotamus
Which one makes more poop?

one day you will see
Haiku is a waste of time
Masturbate instead

Crusty bloody scabs
Keep them as souvenirs
To remember me

Go ahead, eat ham.
It keeps the Muslims away.
Praise be to Jesus!

The Pagan puff-ball
bearing psychedelic eggs.
Praise be to Jesus!

Spoiled little brats
on quests for tie-dye ova.
Praise be to Jesus!

Little do they know
they had better find Jesus!
Praise His Holy Name!

The Easter Bunny
will not save your wretched soul.
Praise be to Jesus!

The Easter Bunny
did not roll away a rock.
Praise be to Jesus!

The Easter Bunny
is not real, but Jesus is!
Praise be to Jesus!

Marie Antoinette
Stopped sucking my dick one day
Never found out why

Get down on your knees
Pray.. Stand up..Pray. Stand up. Pray.
Stand up. Pray. Stand up

Due to drain problem,
Goddess had to call plumber.
Man fixed it for her.

You have overused
That old John-Boy Walton shtick.
Find some new content.

John Boy Walton's Mole
Looking forward to baked ham
With all the fixings

A block of sharp cheese
Distinct tang reminiscent
Of Grandfather's taint

The monster rattles
the bars of his cage for now.
Jesus help us all!

Just ate "Food for The Gods" pastry.
Overrated.
Glad I'll burn in hell.... Okay, back to vacation.

He followed the rules
Only beat off in his room
Drowned in the spew

A meatless marriage
Not enough for leftovers
Unsatisfying

So... Looking for a dish drying rack. You know, the kind you set by the side of the sink and put the dishes and silverware in it to dry that drips down and drains into the sink. Really fucking simple, yeah. But it's nowhere to be found. I mean, all these dish drying racks all just have a tub under them and don't allow the water to drain off. I mean, how fucking stupid can these Asians be?! Seriously! Something so basic, so standard, so obvious in how it should work, how it should be designed. They can't do it. Why?! Why?! WHY!?!?!!????!!!!!!!
Bunch of fucking backwards primitive barbarians!
I should have moved to Europe.
Spiritual note to self for future reincarnations: Don't fuck monkeys. Just don't.

Don't have a condom?
Use aluminum foil
Will keep your meat fresh

Sidle up to bar
And vomiting poetry
Drinking Bad Haiku

were all going to die 5-7-5

You cheat at haiku
If you count your syllables
It's 5-7-5

Hey get over it
Somebody cheated on you
Guess what? No one cares

Go slaughter a ham
Pull the leg off a cute lamb
Candy:Fill your face

Next door liar breathing in the same house ..can't wait till you're found out you'll die too silly wabbit

You a fucking liar and aren't one with shit...you in your rotting flesh soter..plotolmy...u traded everything. Cast yourself down into the abyss for it and took others with you.

Peck peck peck... you rang?
The Easter Cassowary
Coming right for ya!!

Power flows brightly
Flightless bird communicates
Silence falls nothing

I am one with Him.
This is my body and blood.
Praise be to Jesus!

I got it God wins
He did a good -- no, great job.
Praise forevermore.

You got it u win...good job.

Ok ok u falsely won have more fun one of these days you're done

It's always "Easter".
Phuck the eggs and bunnies
Christ is Lord. Amen.

Traitors exposed this time don't cry when u lose deserving of the noose

Good Friday six pack
C'mon youse sit back and watch
The crucifixion

Youse is a sinner
God and Jesus yeah as if
You know those two dudes

Bitch I'm going to use your uggs to remove your trachea

But when I come back
I plan on wearing some Uggs
Then, I'll rapture youse

Speaking on behalf
Of jesuschristalmighty
"sandals are comfy"

anus coming, who?
Comment Allez-void, hemorrhoid
So, avoid the Noid

ANU IS COMING FOR ALL OF U WHO THINK U GOT THIS SHIT FIGURED OUT! INCLUDING JESUS AND ALL WHO WERE INVOLVED..

thats just it I'm not normal stop being on my clit

The Lord Jesus Christ
prefers you to be normal.
Stop writing this stuff.

A thief lies a million times to win
No truth in them for jealousies sin fake as fuck incorporating false illusion into the new children phony broads be acting stupid even when u don't lose it and let them have it they still be at it stop coming for me why can't u let the shit be is it because the truth is you're afraid of defeat from your lies and deceit

I found out the traitor
Ben dealing us as slaves for aeons and decades went into a jealous rage mad fake and stole everything and gave it to the new slave drivers for fame of legendary betrayal killed Osiris and blamed it on his own mother been helping them the entire time and surprised it never got caught foolish council full of lies now peter pan has to watch his true wendy grow old

Don't make me poet
Don't make me churn out haiku
Don't make me do this

Somnambulant nerd
Point him in that direction
Oncoming traffic

7-11
Asked the clerk for some haiku
He said to come here

April in Paris
Got a hunch I won't be back
A burning feeling