Sooty Telesto
This is causing a low yield
Something must be done

Electrostatic
The filters must be dirty
Precipitators

fat fool moon goads me
to spew a few words, all so
self-referential

Why trust a hand held
appliance? So thrilling when
it jerks you around.

Another Failure!
Can you not perceive the faults?
Get out of my sight!

is that a fact Ash?
we all knew it would happen.
even before you.

I re-iterate
You must know that All Your Base
Are Belong To Us

my monkey is great
he has only six fingers
i love him so much

I tried hard to work
The damn espresso machine
Now I drink brown sludge

Annoying screen names
Impossible romances
Retard addiction.

have we hit bottom?
ordinarily perhaps.
could this be the end?

fifty point four eight
out of the ordinary
where's the rising sun?

right in front of me
the facts were taken away
before i knew it

sunflower yellow
the salty tang of chippies
computer humming

Ooh Ooh Oooh, Horshack
Whats hap-nin Mr. Kot-ter
Pulp fiction my ass!

One thirty am
Drunk, rooms are spinning round fast
I peed in hamper

She is exotic
Beautiful and curvey, but
I have no money

I really hate when
sassy-ass haiku websites
reject my haiku

work in industry
watch it crumble around me
uncertainty stress

Your ass gets wider
As you get older, my dear.
Eat a damn salad.

potluck party now
but there is no pot in sight
not very lucky

hurling cabbage heads
doing 90 on freeway
cherry blossoms fall

witten writes poetry
he writes a good limerick
i write bad haikus

there once was a guy named Fred
who tried to write haiku in bed
but he fell off the side
and cracked his head wide
and wrote a bad limerick instead

brother annoys me
he should return to his room
I still love him though

Browse, surf, click.
So bored. Write Bad Haiku. Click
Read. Feel Sad.

someone set us up
you have no chance make your time
all belong to us

thirst just won't quit? beer!
too much sobriety? more beer!
boring friends? bring on the beer!

Budweiser, Pabst, Schlitz.
Milwaukee's Best, Rolling Rock.
they suck but they're cheap!

pretty blonde -- graceful --
talented... meet me later?
it's too bad she's gay!

I see my clock's wrong
It's still just short of midnight
I peed anyway

I see my clock's wrong

The clock strikes midnight
It is time for me to pee
I'll be back shortly

Foot-and-mouth disease
Is spreading throughout Europe
Sell McDonald's stock

Bad haiku is good
I'm glad I found this Web site
I can kill an hour

Thirty short minutes
Until my pizza arrives
With no anchovies

So this is light beer
This amber-tinted water
Where's the alcohol

It makes me thankful
To live in the golden state.
Seasons? What seasons?

texas bush country
infuriating morons
a landslide downhill

what you gonna do
when the Hulkamania
comes down on you ?

my left eye: foggy
i just put in new contacts
blink blink blink blink blink

I dont need women
bitter heartache, pain, and angst
woo! look at that one!

after the layoff,
problem with doing nothing:
dont know when you're done

I hear you brother
There is so much of nothing
Inactivity

after the layoff,
problem with doing nothing:
dont know when you're done

vegetarians
an unknown breed in Texas
Cali, here I come!

dotcom retiree
no love, no money, only
sapphire and tonic!

my fever not bad
just make me speak in haiku
dayquil really rocks

dayquil is orange
it's the get me through the day
medicine that works

dayquil marry me
'all your base are belong to us'
where did that come from?

There's a farm up North
where all they do is milk squid.
That's where ink comes from.

Gangrene and small pox
are simply Mother Nature's
version of tattoos.

I wonder what it
is that makes fluoride so good?
Maybe it's the lead.

sitting with laptop
might have a torn A C L
ice on my knee, fuck