Bad Haiku

Can Jews eat Pringles?
Are they Communion wafers?
What would Jesus do?

Haiku #63657, by Rural Guido of Long English or short Mexican cucumber farm
April 11, 2019 8:39 pm ET

Don't believe Satan.
If you do, you'll burn in Hell!
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63656, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 8:10 pm ET

We are all equal
in the eyes of our Maker.
Praise be to Jesus!

Regardless of your
favorite ice cream flavor.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63655, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:41 pm ET

By loving Jesus
you can better love mankind.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63654, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:37 pm ET

Do not worship cats.
Though they saved man from the plague.
Praise be to Jesus!

You should thank the Lord.
God told cats to eat the rats.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63653, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 7:32 pm ET

cats cats kittens cats
Kittens kittens kittens cats
Cats cats kittens cats

Haiku #63652, by Starkitten of Whisker City
April 11, 2019 7:15 pm ET

What you're made of
Mostly water and dead skin
No wonder life's hard

Haiku #63651, by Who remastered scientist of Whoremaster Asteroid
April 11, 2019 7:10 pm ET

Oops, forgot to sign.
Forgetting is not a sin.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63650, by TTGFP
April 11, 2019 6:45 pm ET

Cleansed of my anger
and filth that poisoned my mind.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63649, by Anonymous Poet
April 11, 2019 6:43 pm ET

I'd never do that!
Lev. eighteen twenty-two.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63648, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:40 pm ET

Giving up coffee.
With Jesus you can quit drugs.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63647, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:36 pm ET

Oh, glorious day.
I greet it with open arms.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63646, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy Princess
April 11, 2019 6:33 pm ET

Faggots,fairies,queens
Whatever one may call them
They sure suck good dick

Haiku #63645, by One Horseman of The apocolypse
April 11, 2019 4:48 pm ET

I could be in porn
If I don't mind getting AIDS
Mostly on weekends

Haiku #63644, by Scared of My own shadow
April 11, 2019 3:50 pm ET

Look into my eyes
Are you scared of The Devil
Look into my eyes

Haiku #63643, by Benny Mardones of Perverted Flying Carpet
April 11, 2019 3:08 pm ET

This site should not be
So very very boring.
What happened to it?

Haiku #63642, by Anonymous Poet
April 11, 2019 2:53 pm ET

Rustle up some grub
Smell what The Rock is cooking
Burned the Last Supper

Haiku #63641, by Churchgoer of Pizza Spaghetti Monster Cathedral
April 11, 2019 2:52 pm ET

Sarcasm will not
Save or impress anyone
I so pity you

Haiku #63640, by Ghost of Christmas
April 11, 2019 2:47 pm ET

At the very least
Order the guy a pizza
Praise be to Jesus

Haiku #63639, by Lord Have Mercy of Domino
April 11, 2019 2:40 pm ET

Ocean tides cycle.
But The Rock remains steady.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63638, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:45 pm ET

Raise your hands up high.
Feel the spirit of the Lord.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63637, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:42 pm ET

Jesus on the cross
contemplates their carpentry.
Praise be to Jesus.

The inferior
skills of the Roman soldiers.
Praise be to Jesus.

They nailed down his hands.
But his soul was free to soar.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63636, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:37 pm ET

Shitting in the dark
Then everyone yells, "SURPRISE!"
Living room commode

Haiku #63635, by Dartha Stewart of OCD
April 11, 2019 1:34 pm ET

Leave it in the bowl
Just might brighten someone's day
Share your brown output

Haiku #63634, by Post Partum of fartum
April 11, 2019 1:28 pm ET

Rock groups are sinners.
Pray for their dark wicked souls.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63633, by TTGF
April 11, 2019 1:26 pm ET

My sins forgiven!
Washed clean by the blood of Christ.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63632, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
April 11, 2019 1:23 pm ET

Hallelujah Lord!
I feel the light in my soul!
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63631, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy
April 11, 2019 1:20 pm ET

Amen. Praise Jesus.
Prophet, Priest and King. Our judge.
React in vain, earth.

Haiku #63630, by Twinkletoes Glitter of Hovering over Darth's R. shoulder
April 11, 2019 8:23 am ET

I gave ten dollars
to a homeless street beggar.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63629, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy.
April 11, 2019 7:55 am ET

LA LA LA LA LA.
Hear, see, and speak no evil.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63628, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of Reelection Campaign Headquarters for the Illustrious President Trump
April 11, 2019 7:54 am ET

"Where is your Bible?"
I always have it with me.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63627, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy
April 11, 2019 7:52 am ET

Just saw vhs
Crawl across the trunk of car
In a chic pink dress

Haiku #63626, by CumbStaines of Cleaners
April 11, 2019 3:43 am ET

Zap ruder footage
Hot cream pie trajectory
Pow in the kisser

Haiku #63625, by Wank Zappage of All over the place
April 11, 2019 3:39 am ET

good

Haiku #63624, by James of newyork
April 11, 2019 2:49 am ET

Go ahead, try it
Wank with non dominant hand
See how it cums out

Haiku #63623, by Rural Guido of Oooorah J Klloofs
April 11, 2019 2:27 am ET

Total juzzwuzard
The diarrhea shithouse
Wadsworth Darthfellow

Haiku #63622, by Rural Guido
April 11, 2019 2:23 am ET

My cum ricocheted
Off the wall,through the kitchen,
then into my face

Haiku #63621, by Reflection of You
April 11, 2019 2:09 am ET

Give me a reason
Heavenly Shenanigans
We don

Haiku #63620, by Poetry byproduct
April 11, 2019 2:06 am ET

Old Darth Figpucker
Stars as Ebenezer Scrooge
Ghosts give up, walk off

Haiku #63619, by Charles Dickens
April 11, 2019 1:51 am ET

Look into my eyes
I am seventeen feet tall
With a three inch dink

Haiku #63618, by Poetry Robot of Junkyard
April 11, 2019 1:41 am ET

They say Uranus
Smells like rotten eggs. True facts.
Praise be to Jesus

Haiku #63617, by Hillbilly Pastor of dirty overalls of Church of Grime
April 11, 2019 12:48 am ET

An end to Satan.
The rapture will come one day.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63616, by TTGF
April 10, 2019 10:58 pm ET

Children are blessings.
Each child is our future.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63615, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Ronald McDonald House
April 10, 2019 10:57 pm ET

Spring time is joyous!
Grilled hamburgers and hotdogs.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63614, by Twinkly Toes Glitter Fairy of The hotdogs are Kosher for my 7th day Adventist friends.
April 10, 2019 10:54 pm ET

Life's an adventure.
I once rode an elephant.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63613, by Noah's Ark of Creation Museum, Cincinatti
April 10, 2019 10:50 pm ET

Ice cream and puppies.
Disney films are works of art.
Praise be to Jesus.

Haiku #63612, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Oral Roberts' Prayer Tower
April 10, 2019 10:47 pm ET

Happiness and peace.
May your life be filled with smiles.
Praise be to Jesus!

Haiku #63611, by Twinkle Toes Glitter Fairy of Couples for Christ Headquarters
April 10, 2019 10:45 pm ET

My spooge permeates
your pores and orifices,
impregnates your brain.

Now your write of poo.
There is nothing else to do.
Just go with the flow.

Your friends might like it.
But I'll tell you what I'll do.
I'll stay gone two weeks.

Bring them on over.
Write enlightening poems.
And be a hippie.

If there is no poo
when I reinspect this site.
I will disappear.

Haiku #63610, by df
April 10, 2019 10:39 pm ET

Can't bring friends over...
Darth always pops up, dripping
with body fluids

Haiku #63609, by Wipe the Darth off me then Dispose of Properly
April 10, 2019 10:17 pm ET

Coffee kicking in.
Approaching normality.
Dusts off rusty brain.

Time to be a whore.
One plus one is fucking two.
That'll be ten bucks.

Haiku #63608, by df
April 10, 2019 9:45 pm ET