Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 136 Days and 76970 Haiku later...

Roadside attractions
Pick up all the hitchhikers
Could be interesting
Haiku # 63058, March 20, 2019 8:54 pm ET
by Mack of Rig
Great minds think alike
I can see the gears turning
Poetry churning
Haiku # 63057, March 20, 2019 8:47 pm ET
by Poet of Know it
Darth and write alone
Wait for someone to read it
Release another
Haiku # 63056, March 20, 2019 8:27 pm ET
by Catch and Release
Fart and stand alone
Wait for someone to walk by
Release another
Haiku # 63055, March 20, 2019 7:20 pm ET
by Alone
Took Glass Blowing class
Without thinking, I swallowed
Hard habit to break
Haiku # 63054, March 20, 2019 3:21 pm ET
by Granny of Senior Center
By writing haiku
Does cause hair to grow on brain
Have a nice day, sir
Haiku # 63053, March 20, 2019 2:47 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That Darth Figpucker
Gee whiz, he's sure a swell guy;
Soul like a fresh rose!
Haiku # 63052, March 20, 2019 9:40 am ET
by Fragrances of Holiness
No can go for that
They have smelly bum holes there
I sent a drone there
Haiku # 63051, March 20, 2019 2:49 am ET
by Please help
Yes, there's an island
off southern India where
no white men have gone.

But you must sneak there
at night because the coast guard
won't let you go there.

I have faith in you.
Learn to swim, garden, and fish.
You will do just fine.
Haiku # 63050, March 20, 2019 2:39 am ET
by df
Around the world now
The booger I picked and flicked
Forty years ago
Haiku # 63049, March 20, 2019 12:05 am ET
by Boogeyman
I'm so tired of being a good poet laureate and the other trouble that the fame monster has created for me. There must be a deserted island we could pack up and get away.
Haiku # 63048, March 20, 2019 12:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Used all the Kleenex
In one go. One big long blow.
From a nose so low
Haiku # 63047, March 19, 2019 9:57 pm ET
by Joe Bloe
Tootsie roll reflux
Another one of the perks
Try new figpudding
Haiku # 63046, March 19, 2019 9:55 pm ET
by We will not go until we get some
Blowing the wrong nose
The cure for the common
cold
Right under your nose
Haiku # 63045, March 19, 2019 9:18 pm ET
by Well Maybe a little lower of Nose
You can have NyQuil.
I'll take Robitussin-DM.
Dextromethorphan.

Pink bunny rabbits.
Robi-DM and Bailey's.
Knock back ten of those.

Six out of seven
choosy cold med abusers
drink Robi-DM.
Haiku # 63044, March 19, 2019 9:01 pm ET
by df
NyQuil Elmer Fudd
Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks I
When I blow my nose
Haiku # 63043, March 19, 2019 7:50 pm ET
by She was annoying
Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers armpits
Intoxicating
Haiku # 63042, March 19, 2019 7:45 pm ET
by Onions of Pits
Skip the drinks for once
Try smelling strangers
Haiku # 63041, March 19, 2019 7:44 pm ET
by Onions of Pits
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
Haiku # 63040, March 19, 2019 4:47 pm ET
by Me of Bus
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
Haiku # 63039, March 19, 2019 4:46 pm ET
by Me of Bus
Through His Viewmaster
Sky Guy is always watching
He sure is a Hosehead
Haiku # 63038, March 19, 2019 4:45 pm ET
by Me of Bus
Hey Darth--God IS real.
Therefore, repent of your sin
and you'll find mercy.
Haiku # 63037, March 19, 2019 4:40 pm ET
by May God Invade Your Dreams
Beavis burning ants
with a magnifying glass.
God's Beavis, we're ants.
Haiku # 63036, March 19, 2019 12:07 pm ET
by df
The world sucks so hard,
the only evidence that
God just might exist.

Beavis in the sky.
Invisible overlord
playing frog baseball.

And we are the frogs.
Put feet first in a blender.
See our expressions.
Haiku # 63035, March 19, 2019 12:01 pm ET
by df
I wish God were real.
If he were, I'd join Satan.
But it's all bullshit.

What a shitty world.
Something a weirdo would make.
A real fucking nut.

A complete asshole.
Wholly Holy Assholey.
What a shit biscuit.
Haiku # 63034, March 19, 2019 11:57 am ET
by df
Yes, considering
the organ with which I think,
that's probably true.
Haiku # 63033, March 19, 2019 11:24 am ET
by df
You broke the law, sir
In a Public Library
Massaging your thoughts
Haiku # 63032, March 19, 2019 10:27 am ET
by Librarians of Throw the book at him
The police stopped me.
I was walking down the street.
My thoughts were showing.
Haiku # 63031, March 19, 2019 10:05 am ET
by df
WHENITYPEALLCAPSWITHOUTSPACESITMEANSMYKEYBOARDISBROKENANDITSTIMETOGETANEWCOMPUTERBUTIDON'THAVEENOUGHMONEYBECAUSEI'VEBEENSPENDINGITALLONDRUGSANDPROSTITUTES.
Haiku # 63030, March 18, 2019 11:50 pm ET
by DF
Lonely Asian girls
They love your haiku long time
Penis Chia Pet
Haiku # 63029, March 18, 2019 10:11 pm ET
by French Kissing of Gates of Rae Dawn Chong
Timberlake dance moves
Tyrannosaur sized boner
Ima yell"TIMBER"!
Haiku # 63028, March 18, 2019 9:09 pm ET
by WHENITYPEALLCAPS of IAMSCREAMING
I'd like to own a
pet Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Fuck what Goldblum says.
Haiku # 63027, March 18, 2019 8:43 pm ET
by df
To feel young again
jerk off to Suzanne Sommers
workout videos.

I'm thirteen years old!
But my wad's a bit smaller.
Office Coffee Mate.

If ever you're down,
be thankful you're not one of
my secretaries.
Haiku # 63026, March 18, 2019 8:40 pm ET
by df
You got a boner
thinking about Timberlake?
Wow, that's pretty gay.
Haiku # 63025, March 18, 2019 7:46 pm ET
by df
They took down my pic.
I've already been captured.
Damn ankle monitors.
Haiku # 63024, March 18, 2019 7:45 pm ET
by df
Went to Post Office
Saw your picture on the wall
Came home. Wrote poem

Went outside again
Danced like Justin Timberlake
Got an erection
Haiku # 63023, March 18, 2019 7:04 pm ET
by Troll of Smurfville
So when was the last time any of you poets left your mother's basement and went outside?
Or maybe down to the pub or a beer?
Or down to the local park to smear poo on the bathroom stall door?
Go on... get out. Post what you did here when you get back.

$15 happy ending.
Evacuated.
Empty.
Void.
Haiku # 63022, March 18, 2019 6:52 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Autistic savant.
Calculates square root of pi.
Throws poo at poets.

Now personally
I think the latter is a
more useful talent.
Haiku # 63021, March 18, 2019 6:46 pm ET
by df
God like a slumlord
Let Everything go to Hell
Come round for the rent
Haiku # 63020, March 18, 2019 4:43 pm ET
by When I use CAPITAL LETTERS of THAT MEANS I AM SCREAMING
Truck driving preacher
Spoke of the Resurrection
Got an erection!
Haiku # 63019, March 18, 2019 4:37 pm ET
by I said pull over, Buddy of Not pull off
The mathematician
Hard at work in the rest room
Making number two
Haiku # 63018, March 18, 2019 3:59 pm ET
by Based on my calculations of Human Calulator
Mono podes
Haiku # 63017, March 18, 2019 12:24 pm ET
by I said
ya sure ever knee
Double amputees, monopoles
Smelly arthritis
Haiku # 63016, March 18, 2019 12:24 pm ET
by Iva Faloen of Can
Ever seen the Dude?
Was he 17 feet tall?
Knocking at your door
Haiku # 63015, March 18, 2019 12:21 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Praise the Living God
There is a resurrection
Every knee will bow
Haiku # 63014, March 18, 2019 10:07 am ET
by Your Cue to Blaspheme
What will it be now?
A seagull screech festival?
To be continued...
Haiku # 63013, March 18, 2019 6:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just checked the oven
Haiku baked to perfection
Now adding Ex-Lax
Haiku # 63012, March 18, 2019 12:42 am ET
by 4u
I found a shamrock
Might not be a lucky one
Made from fresh feces
Haiku # 63011, March 17, 2019 8:36 pm ET
by Bend Me over kiss a clover
Digester s Reader
Shiterature Magazine
Worstsmelling Authors
Haiku # 63010, March 17, 2019 8:19 pm ET
by John Crapper of In Zee tank
Digester
Haiku # 63009, March 17, 2019 8:18 pm ET
by John Crapper of In Zee tank
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