poetry is dead

All poets should die!!!...

I mean DYE... their hair.
Bright rainbow colors,
get drunk and pass out
flowers to strangers on street corners
THEN KILL THEM... selves.

First, Robert Furman discovered that he hated poetry. In the midst of writing a poem he suddenly realized that there was not a single pursuit he could think of that was so trivial, so superfluous to living.

He was in an academic setting, of course, and that could have been part of the problem. Here poetry was published in slim, arch magazines and read by perhaps twenty-five people who published in the same journals. But it was not just the elitism that troubled Furman. He realized, in the midst of composition, that he could attach any adjective to any noun (the "arbitrary teapot" or the "truculent rose," for instance) and then cobble up some sort of meaning to suit the phrase. There seemed something despicable in this wordplay, a kind of intellectual self-abuse.

Perhaps, he thought, it was only his own poetry that he despised. But no, he discovered that he hated the poetry of all his peers, and, incredibly, all poetry ever written. Behind every poem there seemed to crouch an immensely self-involved ego, the sort of man or woman who would let the infant cry in its cradle while seeking just the right nuance of tone and cadence. The people who wrote poetry were to be avoided as were the poems that emanated from them like methane gas seeping from a swamp.

Excerpt from Zod Wallop by William Browning Spencer

If all poets died,
the world would be a nice place.
--Edgar Allen Poe

Sing along now folks
Haiku Killer, Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Run,run,run away...

Try Jim Jones Soda
Tastes like Kool-Aid, Neon Blue
Toxic, just like you.

1 ply roll wears thin
Ditto says the headless twin
Your thunder's just farts

Starkitten's excess:
wipe the Haiku from your ass
then take a shower.

Upon reading John
Densmore's story of the Doors:
Jim was not so bright.

sun is now shining
fragrance of ground coffee beans
day's light has begun

Just letting you know
Can stop the poetry flow
HAIKUVIUS, BLOW!

Vegan Brady Bunch
Carrot Top fucking Alice
With Huge Cucumber

Put some clothes on, Dude!
Segway. Bill Gates just whizzed by.
Microsoft indeed

Strangle Tiny Tim
Pull out some Dickens tonight
Ebeneezer Spooge?

Number2vius
Active toilet volcano!
Real pain in the "ash"

The floor is lava.
Yes, shit just got real for you.
Toilet overflow

.

Fuck that Tsunami!
Play Naked Origami
I will enfold you

Starbucks in Japan
Serves a special Blonde Roast Brew
Urine made by you.

Lindsey Buckingham
Takes sugar in his coffee
He hates Stevia.

we had game boy they
have apple watch and samsung...
wait i have...samsung...

jones soda had the
birthday cake flavor now blow
out your soda pop

i want 2 be all
sirius but i just kant
r u sirius??

my body is a
done aching and my time is
at hand...i will know

it keeps you running
yes it keeps you running, ask
micheal mcdonnell

German Gatorade
Yucky flavors,won't quench thirst.
Tried Blue Liverwurst?

Need a Handyman?
Call James Taylor. He'll come
A-running to you.

what i hate about
this era is amazon
is not cool face to

face small record book
coffee shop music store type
hipster mesto, oh

my brothers

gatorade, just a
bottle of gatorade lay next
to myself in bed

the guy in repo
was the same guy in buffy
mister repo that

is...wheres buffy when you need her

i can't say i can
be single, much worse in fact
singularity

sucked within myself

glasses, went from
drink to on my face egg nog don't
fail me on return

something to do with
spritual warfare and its
wriiten by some guy named karl

watched repo the genetic opera
weird fucking movie tonight
i wish id seen it sooner
sarah brightmann paris hilton

KFC Restroom
Seen the ghost of the Colonel
Beside the urinal.

Johnny Appleseed.
What if he had planted weed?
Pass the Funyuns, please.

Asking for your wife.
How'd you grow your dick SO BIG?
Transplant. Neighbor's pig.

One more question, please?
Did it come with balls attached?
Eggs from hen, un-hatched

Best toy since Yo Yo
Here, I'll show you...Wait!..(clucking)
Choking the Chicken.

Disco Inferno!
Spontaneous Combustion
You scorched the dance floor!!

Avocado Toast?
Deconstructed Stew? No thanks.
I'll have Bad Haiku.

Dude, Nativity...
Was Joseph Mary's FWB?
Or maybe God was?

Yo, Darthfigpucker
We had active Booger Farm
Used Telephone Pole

Yo, Dianetics!
Hi, this is John Travolta
White suit made balls itch

On the bathroom wall,
right above the urinal,
draw a black square box

with a thick Sharpie.
Just below (or above) it
give it the title

Booger Farm, and watch
how fast people fill it up.
You can have a snack

each time you go pee.
You'll never buy food again.
You are quite welcome.

Combinatorics
differentiate my balls.
hypothesize, bitch!

No, but you can send nude pics
to darthfigpucker2@gmail.com
and I'll be sure to let you know
what you have won.

Does this site have a contest for haiku?

While you were sleeping
I was busy planting a tree
Deep in your asshole

A few years will pass
Your tree will provide riches
Free toilet paper!

Think it's a venal sin?
Pervert priest called it a win-win.
Kicked him in the shin.

Praying. Down on my knees.
That my headless twin won't sneeze
While I blow the priest.

Do dogs understand
All the commotion they cause
With their anal glands?

Conjoined headless twin!
Writing bad haikus again?
Catch you outside, Sis