When he drove Big Bird
What did they do with his turds?
Toss out the window?

waylon jennings would
have had a fit over the
plot holes in that one

Sure, right off a cliff
So hard to see in this fog
Oops. Just killed Boss Hog

sometimes the greatest
rebellion is to have fun
wave your dixie flags

drive the general lee

Relaxing Milk Bath
Pasteurized? Homogenized?
Just up to my chin.

Fart in the milk bath
Hey, Crappucino au lait
My friends went away

I want to quit life.
Not to die, just quit life.
Live under a bridge.

Jump out at children.
"Delicious meat! Juicy sweet!"
Wearing troll costume.

Farting in public.
Talking to people not there.
Collecting boogers.

so they wanna cut
alex jones out of the scene...
marxist lesbians...

need a slap across the face

so some pissy black
clad gangs want to replace the
states with marxism

lesbianism...
take that spiral dance and tell
starhawk, fly off...broom...

so youve read our ol'
pastor of intimidation
fighting here now

and of fucking course
i had to find my kurt cobain
book...here we are now...

Funyuns. Smokes. Cheap Beer.
Midnight ride of John Bevere.
Satan Bait sold here

Take Seattle Slew
You win some.You lose a few.
Just don't become glue.

Sir if I were you
Standing in that muddy slough
Crank out some Bad Haiku!

if i give up on folks
because of an offense then
God gives up on me

the whole quest of the
book Pilgrim's Progress is the
sidetracks to the one

city on the hill, that
is the goal...is the the slough
of despond I'm in?

the urge to retreat
and sit back and turn off the
world is a strong urge

i get the urge to
quit on line forums and let
people be, quitting

long term "projects" to
go within, giving up on
people as not

reliable at all

You look just like him
And I'm Mary Tyler Moore.
Pop goes the Weezer!

Bad Haiku. So Quiet.
You can hear chirping crickets
And Buddy Holly, too.

Then came the Spring thaw
Sorest ass I ever saw.
Seen my thesaurus?

Wintertime. Kinda hard.
Wiping with a Christmas card.
Got figgy pudding?

Wiped his bum with leaves
Or while bringing in the sheaves.
Behold, Thoreausoreass

A pot to piss in
When Henry David Thoreau
Really had to go

honestly im in
my go to walden mood, do
not pass go, leave here

are you knowing the
more you keep going i will
energizer, too?

Wake up, vhs!
How the Hell are you doing?
Fresh haiku brewing

Eat Alphabet Soup
And every day you will poop
Bestsellers to read!

Get into the groove
Got to make your bowels move,
Hey, Poop to the beat.

I'm not feeling the
groove, introvert comes out must
sleep till the end times

i heard a man went
nuts long ago who sold books
I'm glad i didn't buy

books from that guy and
i got away from that guy as quick
as i could do so

i get stone temple pilots
and social justice warriors
mixed up sometimes, maybe
a band called social justice
warriors needs to come out and
put the so called justice warriors
to get offended and then egg them on when their attempts at intimidation cease to work, the doxxing, the shaming, look in the mirror they see blue hair

I've officially lost it
stupid bitch in a cafe got
all wound up when i said
I voted for trump and the lady said no i can't take it then i walked down the street wondering if that old boomer
geezer wondered if i should off myself over it and would ever think because of that convo i began to not value my own life

and for fuck sakes if
donald trump turns water into wine
and these drugged out hippie-o-crits
start burning the flag, claiming they hate america...well for fuck sakes when these assholes actually
experience world war three or some other horrid event, they'll be crying for real rather than the retarded mock crying of xanax
let them have their own "cannibalism" by eating themselves

so if i get these
paranoid hints in my mind whilst
real life is jabbering around me
clueless to what i do on line
and i get irritated with the real life drama of vanilla people whilst dealing with "thrilling" people on line, which fucking
one am i escaping from?

man i just get tired of this
stuff when i think it might
affect me in real life
and threaten the ones i love
because i think the person on
the other end might really be nuts

Try our Phish and Chips
We only have one waitress
Fast enough for you?

Piping hot for you...
John, Paul, George, and Ringo too
Splendid Beatle Stew!

Cultures that can claim
exquisite culinary
delights piss me off.

Grasshoppers taste good.
Scorpions have a nice crunch.
Tarantulas... Nope!

Ok, Just got here
Please tell me where to park my
Big pink bathysphere

I don't do windows.
I'll wear a smile, nothing more
Knock, Knock, on your door

Blood spills with rigor
Quiet noise emerged at last
Fall reaching nothing

come to my window
im not a lesbian but
i'll be home soon...i'll..

Lay down on my couch
The Libido's cathexis
Bad haiku connects us

hmm anima and
animus our enema
letting it all out

Do fish get boners?
Quick, Hop in my bathysphere
Please wear something sheer.

Let's ask Jacques Cousteau
Please give his shell phone a blow
Perhaps he would know

When dolphins beat off
do they spank their sea monkeys?
Asking for a friend.

I ate four cans of
alphabet soup and had a
huge vowel movement.

No wagering, folks.
LIVE: Simon and Garfunkel
Cage Fight to the Death!