BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
69 Days
69696 Haikus
Coyly blowing ploughs
Babble lively ginkoes melt
Stones screaming pirate
Haiku #57468, by Mostly Gibberish
October 8, 2017 8:17 pm ET

Petty is still dead
Fuck, Dylan's probably next
Life goes on and on
Haiku #57467, by My Name is Alan and I Just Bought a Giraffe! of The White House Adult Daycare Center
October 8, 2017 8:14 pm ET

ouzo and the poena damni

say hi sometime
Haiku #57466, by vhs
October 7, 2017 8:31 pm ET

The future is bleak, true.
The primary cause is overpopulation
combined with what we perceive as necessities.
(Internet, cars, TV, new shoes, etc, etc.)
If you can somewhat far away from all that shite,
then you might have some modicum of a possibility
of survival. And by far away, I mean put an ocean
between yourself and the "civilized world".
But if you're an old fart it won't matter much
in the end if you survive or not...
In the grand scheme of things.
But I don't think shit will truly go down for another
50 to 100 years or so. For now, relax.
So, my recommendation is to party like it's
1984 or something. May I recommend Crown Royal.
Think of me as your spiritual advisor. Get it... spirits.
Har har har.
Haiku #57465, by df
October 7, 2017 7:55 pm ET

picked up a king james
lots of jack chick tracts in it
even i can say um

can you say conspiracy theory?
The Rapture
Haiku #57464, by vhs
October 7, 2017 4:34 pm ET

I'm nervous about
the future, a big crisis
but what to do now?????
Haiku #57463, by vhs
October 7, 2017 3:56 pm ET

and of course the
years pass and i still cant count
five seven five, six?
Haiku #57462, by vhs
October 7, 2017 9:32 am ET

hi, jane of princeton
with many years of practise
haikus are still bad
Haiku #57461, by ash
October 7, 2017 8:32 am ET

me too - the drunk thing
poetry is so much fun
always when dancing
Haiku #57460, by kim of Denver, CO
October 7, 2017 1:56 am ET

I got drunk again,
So...of course i wrote poems
They all sucked moose balls
Haiku #57459, by Mandingo Ebola
October 7, 2017 12:41 am ET

youre a fucking vogon
df, problem is i enjoy
vogon poetry

wheres the freddled geuntbugglys
Haiku #57458, by vhs
October 6, 2017 8:09 pm ET

how many time must i
watch poppy and gaga make baphomet gestures

in music vids and
realize the world is just messed
up, im part of it
Haiku #57457, by Anonymous Poet
October 6, 2017 8:08 pm ET

Well I fought in the
Clone Wars along with Chewbacca's
cousin Roooink Wung-Hrang.

Many droids up and
self-annihilated when
I read poetry.
Haiku #57456, by df
October 6, 2017 8:05 pm ET

Many years ago
As an undergrad, I fought
Haiku wars with Ash
Haiku #57455, by Jane of Princeton of Maine
October 6, 2017 6:55 pm ET

i feel like i want
to pass on knowledge that's not
too biased but to

see people make their
own decisions whether i
agree with them or

Haiku #57454, by vhs
October 6, 2017 4:24 pm ET

in the grand scheme of
things there are people who think
lunch is a big deal

and the end of the
world isn't considered
eat drink and be, what?
Haiku #57453, by vhs
October 6, 2017 2:49 pm ET

well there's a lot of
where's my write up in the
grand scheme of these things
Haiku #57452, by vhs
October 6, 2017 12:36 pm ET

You are a really persuasive writer. I can see this in your writeup. You've a way of writing compelling info that sparks significantly interest.
Haiku #57451, by Anonymous Poet of USA
October 6, 2017 11:46 am ET

well that was a lot
of funny stuff right there so
my ass needs some glue

after reading all that
lmao is a bad
condition to have

if you want to sit
Haiku #57450, by vhs
October 6, 2017 9:50 am ET

Probably the funniest thing I have
Ever heard was Louis C.K. on the radio
Trying to get Donald Rumsfeld
To state definitively that he is not
A lizard-person from outer space
He simply would not
Haiku #57449, by dvd
October 5, 2017 10:38 pm ET

Pee-Wee Herman became my hero when I saw him do his hamburger routine on Cheech and Chong's Nice Dreams.
I have since developed a great respect for iguanas and indeed all reptilian life forms except for politicians.
Shame about the porno thing. Paul Reubens would make an awesome president. Fucking pigs.
Haiku #57448, by df
October 5, 2017 8:04 pm ET

Goddamn I love coffee.
And I don't care if it hates me.
I enjoy inflicting myself upon coffee.
Torturing it after it's been roasted.
Sometimes I read my worst poetry
to my morning coffee
just to see if it will come to life
and try to run away.
It's only happened twice.
Each time, I hunt it down and drag it back,
steaming and sweetened.
Haiku #57447, by df is wondering what's the meaning of "nmob lachlan" ... fucking captchas.
October 5, 2017 7:49 pm ET

Vaginal pus nibblets.
Encrusted frillies.
Go well with cognac.
Very Stinky Old Panties.
Xanadu Olfactory bone apart.
It ate my cigar!
Bill knows.
Haiku #57446, by df of 1000 police are coming to get me!
October 5, 2017 7:44 pm ET

Is it a sin to enjoy sinning?
And to keep on sinning without repentance?
And if I burn in hell and complain that it's too cold down here, what then?
As long as my wife's not there...
Know what I mean, Vern?
Haiku #57445, by df
October 4, 2017 9:50 pm ET

At least you're not a homework whore.
Fucking cheating Arabs.
But they pay fairly well.
Praise Allah for cell phones.
Haiku #57444, by df
October 4, 2017 9:45 pm ET

i often wonder
why people think I'm human
but i wash dishes

for a living
Haiku #57443, by vhs
October 4, 2017 7:05 pm ET

Digital venereal disease,
Why do you assume humanity?
All who know me call me evil and monster.
Then we have a beer.
Haiku #57442, by Anonymous Poet
October 4, 2017 4:41 am ET

"kill all people"
start with yourself, please and thanks
Haiku #57441, by dvd of hey at least stay motivated
October 3, 2017 11:01 pm ET

good, we need more of
that cynicism, i like
it now and again
Haiku #57440, by vhs
October 3, 2017 10:12 pm ET

Guns don't kill people.
People kill people, that's true.
So kill all people.

Then there will be peace.
But that is itself a lie.
This universe sucks.

It sucks out your life.
It sucks the life out of life.
It's just a big drain.

There is never peace.
Only war and predation.
I, for one, blame God.
Haiku #57439, by df
October 3, 2017 9:11 pm ET

i saw the flags down
at half mast on my drive home
tonight, and it hit

me what has just come
to pass today, who could think
polarized...they still

Haiku #57438, by vhs
October 3, 2017 8:27 pm ET

well you can stand me
up to the gates of hell, i guess
ill stand my ground, lets roll another
Haiku #57437, by vhs
October 3, 2017 6:11 pm ET

Hey any of you
Spare a joint for a wayward
Spirit of stoner?
Haiku #57436, by The Ghost of Tom Petty
October 3, 2017 4:01 pm ET

The soaring price of prostitution is enough to piss anyone off, I guess. The ball and chain made beans and they're too Goddamn spicy. Think I'll go run a tank through a nursing home. Or sell Cambodian toddler meat labeled as all-organic free range turkey lunch slices. Something. Anything for my 15 seconds. I deserve that much, don't I?
Never mind. The farts are starting. Guess I'll settle for pulling the cover over someone's head tonight. In my world, it's more tragic. You'd have to be there. But it won't make the news.

So, anyone care to talk about the terrible health effects of hydrogenated fats? Oreos are a prime example. Heart attacks, clogged arteries, etc. Anyone? Is that too boring? I give up.
Haiku #57435, by df
October 3, 2017 7:54 am ET

That was pretty bad, Ash.
Haiku #57434, by df
October 3, 2017 7:41 am ET

the loss in vegas
shooting craps is not enough
you can bet your life
Haiku #57433, by ash
October 2, 2017 11:58 pm ET

Maybe its because my parents
Divorced when I was young
But when tragedy strikes
My brain automatically tries
To understand how and why
It's all my fault
Haiku #57432, by 5 Year Old 27 Year Old
October 2, 2017 10:53 pm ET

call me the breeze but
i wish i could blow away
like the wind the pain

and evil in the
world, each day seems to bring new
tragedy and theres not a word for it...
Haiku #57431, by Anonymous Poet
October 2, 2017 6:29 pm ET

the new month, tenth in
the year, eighth long ago, ain't
history so grand?
Haiku #57430, by vhs
October 1, 2017 5:51 pm ET

five o clock, the time
passes into october
we name the days, months
Haiku #57429, by vhs of watching the clock like a good German American
September 30, 2017 5:03 pm ET

real life hassles we
all got, health, wealth and congress
and the decaf too
Haiku #57428, by vhs
September 30, 2017 11:39 am ET

saturday morning
no more cartoons, thanks a lot
1990s congress
Haiku #57427, by vhs
September 30, 2017 11:27 am ET

there's always someone
saying the end is nigh, but
there's some payoff there

someone is trying
to get from saying that, I
think the time i will

worry is when i
see a giant marshmallow
man stomping New York
Haiku #57426, by vhs
September 29, 2017 6:59 pm ET

that group of names so
in the news or print or on
line, when they pass to

the other side, I
know more will come their
way but i know they

were unique for their
own time and place and
circumstance in time
Haiku #57425, by vhs
September 29, 2017 6:53 pm ET

the end is not near
disaster not imminent
We must learn to cope
Haiku #57424, by Adorable Kittens
September 29, 2017 6:45 pm ET

good night hugh heffner
bedding down with the angels
eternally stiff
Haiku #57423, by ash
September 28, 2017 11:42 pm ET

I wish for profound
But end up with stuff like this
pink badger mittens
Haiku #57422, by hands of stoner
September 28, 2017 8:58 pm ET

writer's block after all
these years finally lifting
but to hear the real

life troubles of folks
who do this sort of thing in a
world gone digital

I don't seem to care
if there isn't a "point" I'll
just do as i believe
Haiku #57421, by vhs
September 28, 2017 8:04 pm ET

the moment one tries
to say something profound
sometimes it works out

but it tends to work
best, i think if it just kind
of happens, LIKE, that
Haiku #57420, by vhs
September 27, 2017 8:25 pm ET

Stupid distractions
Keep me from important things
But fun to be had
Haiku #57419, by Fists of Stoner of Colorado
September 27, 2017 7:51 pm ET