Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 217 Days and 77133 Haiku later...

i hate to lose the
fun out of something but when
i feel really strong

about something I'm
even willing to stand to lose
my life over something

you might find stupid
Haiku # 57175, August 18, 2017 5:46 pm ET
by vhs
I saw it, all craft prepare to
retreat, we can't repel firepower
of that magnitude
Haiku # 57174, August 18, 2017 5:38 pm ET
by vhs
New Cheese Poodles album:
"Arguing About Statues"
Includes the hits:
"You're Not a Tree"
"Let's Leave The Major Life Decisions To Me"
Haiku # 57173, August 18, 2017 5:04 pm ET
by dvd
A stylish gas mask
Fancy fighter jets and tanks
War is fabulous
Haiku # 57172, August 18, 2017 8:38 am ET
by dvd
Thank God they landed
Right next to a docile lamb
Instead of the wolf
Haiku # 57171, August 17, 2017 6:07 pm ET
by adam ben adam
of course we must be
off to our real lives the bills
and paper need to

go in slots where the
papers need to go you know
paper has to move
Haiku # 57170, August 17, 2017 3:17 pm ET
by vhs
my favorite Van
Halen albums are 5150
1984, Van Halen II

and I like OU812.
I saw their concert trucks
race in Oxford Plains

in a drag race and
it is one of my favorite
childhood memories

(those not from Maine google or gibiru oxford plains speedway)
Haiku # 57169, August 17, 2017 1:07 pm ET
by vhs
ah dear God, you know
For Unlawful Carnal Know
ledge if you take the

letters off that thing
that is an album well it's
a cuss word you see
Haiku # 57168, August 17, 2017 1:05 pm ET
by vhs
VAN HALEN, The Movie:
Starring vhs as Eddie Van Halen
Coming Soon
Haiku # 57167, August 16, 2017 10:36 pm ET
by dvd
it's nine at night and
another day goes about
with the drama in

it, the evil of
today is suffiencient
tomorrows come and go
Haiku # 57166, August 16, 2017 9:01 pm ET
by vhs
aparently I've turned
into van halen now too
well off to cabo

Haiku # 57165, August 15, 2017 8:28 pm ET
by vhs
well thank you kindly
but I hope others do "great"
work too, it's a "team"

(hate the cliches but the cliche might ring true too)
Haiku # 57164, August 15, 2017 8:27 pm ET
by vh
I gotta say that
57160 is
Some excellent work
Haiku # 57163, August 15, 2017 8:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
on the edge of the
historical event that
led to a new age

the night before and
the day after the world had
changed beyond belief
Haiku # 57162, August 15, 2017 6:01 pm ET
by vhs
we can say words and
those words can be right on spot
or vague and empty
Haiku # 57161, August 15, 2017 3:24 pm ET
by vhs
each day is a place
in time and space, and can serve
as that space of rest
Haiku # 57160, August 15, 2017 3:19 pm ET
by vhs
and not to be cast
aside to doom but just a
break from those dumb games
Haiku # 57159, August 15, 2017 3:09 pm ET
by vhs
i want to be thrown
aside, discarded, ignored
not caring, and just

not seen, taking a
break from all the petty bull
shit neon shirtted

drones at the dump say
and pull orders to folks they
don't know and take trash

out on
Haiku # 57158, August 15, 2017 3:08 pm ET
by vhs
one day at a time
sitting in a basement far
from human social

stuff, taking down notes
on how life ended up in
that place and that time
Haiku # 57157, August 15, 2017 3:04 pm ET
by vhs
Kerouac at Big
Sur writing his best alone
no sickos down in

his Beat, questioning
his era of conformity
on vacation
Haiku # 57156, August 15, 2017 10:26 am ET
by vhs
i am not sure if
i am alone here today
or this place is chill?
Haiku # 57155, August 14, 2017 5:42 pm ET
by vhs
once again the small
parts of the world threaten to
secede and the next

Grey Champion for
better or worse hits the stands
to make history
Haiku # 57154, August 13, 2017 6:57 pm ET
by vhs
most of the pastries
were eaten by staff at work
and the rest, are food

for the avian
set that likes to drop in and
eat bread thrown their way

out where i live
Haiku # 57153, August 12, 2017 8:04 pm ET
by vhs
yes this is real life
folks, yes i know some folks here
I get to see the

inner workings
of a restaurant and eat
some down to earth food

that's really quite good
Haiku # 57152, August 12, 2017 7:52 pm ET
by vhs
i see vhs
with trashbag full of croissants
happy and content

crumbs in his mustache
kittens crawling over him
munching on spinach
Haiku # 57151, August 12, 2017 6:54 pm ET
by dvd
Snake with limbs and wings
Pretty much a dinosaur
I think anyway
Haiku # 57150, August 12, 2017 5:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Paleontologist
Grim Reaper employed
By the IRS part-time
You know... death, taxes

Government shutdown
Massive employee layoff
Now he's unemployed...
Haiku # 57149, August 12, 2017 5:00 pm ET
by Anonymous Parsimony
I drag on and on.
So I got the name Dragon
Enough about you....

Let's talk about me.
Because that is all I see
I can't get enough
Haiku # 57148, August 12, 2017 1:46 am ET
by Dragon of the cave on the mountain top
Spectral bee nectar
Invisible sideshow of life
Death in the alley
Haiku # 57147, August 12, 2017 1:32 am ET
by Dragon
well getting sick is
a pain in the ass but the
body stops so we

are FORCED to chill out
Haiku # 57146, August 11, 2017 8:08 pm ET
by vhs
oh you had the whole
dadaist protest idea
too huh, I think folks

need to deconstruct
protests in a form of art
movement, had this thought!
Haiku # 57145, August 11, 2017 7:58 pm ET
by vhs
Original meme
Man in sackcloth with a sign
Read only: "REPENT"
Haiku # 57144, August 11, 2017 5:52 pm ET
by adam ben adam
Occupy Yourself
The antidote to groupthink
Carrying blank signs
Haiku # 57143, August 11, 2017 5:51 pm ET
by dvd
Weaving sound
Fingers on strings squeeze
Out a tapestry and I see
Through a window needing cleaning
Thoughts of people
Never having met
Telescopic admiration
Moved by action at a distance
Birds chirp in cages wings aching
Haiku # 57142, August 11, 2017 5:36 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Facing the spacing
Interiorizing it
Longing to belong
Haiku # 57141, August 11, 2017 5:14 pm ET
by alfamike
this is one of those
haiku when i don't have much
to say because well

what the fuck did i
just read here?
Haiku # 57140, August 10, 2017 6:48 pm ET
by vhs
Huh huh, dude, you said
you're number 2, huh huh huh.
Yeah yeah, heh heh heh.

Maybe I'm your dad.
Like, 'cause I went number two.
I gave birth to you.

No way, you dumbass.
That, like, makes you his mom, dude.
Oh yeah... you're really smart.

Beavis and Butthead.
Beer and Burgers.
Bed and Breakfast.
Boobs and butts
Babes and bitches.
Haiku # 57139, August 10, 2017 5:27 pm ET
by zentrum margaguna
Dreaming of horses
Conditional affection?
Hope deferred so long
Haiku # 57138, August 10, 2017 5:24 pm ET
by dvd
this is one of those
"haiku" when I've no idea
what i want to say
Haiku # 57137, August 10, 2017 1:13 pm ET
by vhs
remember our friend
here is a Vogon, the WORST
no 3rd WORST poems

in the universe...

me I am #2 so i am more

worst, dunno about Slavoj
Haiku # 57136, August 9, 2017 8:36 pm ET
by vhs
I had a cat once
It cornered a mouse
The mouse got up on two legs
And punched the cat in the face
Cat was stunned
Mouse escaped
Haiku # 57135, August 9, 2017 12:58 pm ET
by dvd
Death Valley heat wave
My lust for her, but her heart,
Arctic circle cold
Haiku # 57134, August 9, 2017 8:50 am ET
by Primitive Lifeform
Did forty push-ups.
The sweat drips from my nethers
after the third set.
Haiku # 57133, August 8, 2017 9:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I have exactly
one hour to kill before
"meeting" my client.

How many gross haiku
can I compose in that time?
Or I'll exercise?

Or I can do both!
I wonder how that works out.
No pun intended.
Haiku # 57132, August 8, 2017 9:07 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Those Krampusnacht vids
on youtube fascinate me.
I think I'm in love.

Or something like it.
Love, not lust, so get your minds
out of the gutter.

To be a demon,
for just one night of the year.
What could be better?

And you can be mean
to little brats and children.
I am so jealous.
Haiku # 57131, August 8, 2017 9:00 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, The Highly Inappropriate
I've done many things.
But getting AIDS from poodles,
that is a new one.

The dead manatee,
she was frisky this morning.
Or that was maggots.
Haiku # 57130, August 8, 2017 8:52 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker, Esq.
patient: doc, I want you to cure me

doctor figpucker: I am prescribing you AIDS

the end
Haiku # 57129, August 8, 2017 7:57 pm ET
by Anonymous Poodle
i try to ignore
some of the stuff posted on
here and try to post

stuff that doesn't push
scat or splat or whatever
but i can, do push
Haiku # 57128, August 8, 2017 12:25 pm ET
by vhs
some of the stuff on
here turns my stomach so i
can understand why

folks might move along
Haiku # 57127, August 8, 2017 11:43 am ET
by vhs
i have relatives
going over family
pictures and here this

is internet One
as it once was, not as it
is now, a bit not

Haiku # 57126, August 8, 2017 11:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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