Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

I want to jack off.
The bedroom door will not lock.
Guess I'll read a book.
Haiku # 55240, October 30, 2016 6:14 am ET
by df
Venereal Disease Hippopotamus Foreskin Scabs?
Haiku # 55239, October 30, 2016 6:06 am ET
by df
VDHFS
Your car is waiting for you
give me a dollar
Haiku # 55238, October 30, 2016 4:23 am ET
by adorable kittens
This is gibberish
Capital sea love Barney
Did smoke affect you?
Haiku # 55237, October 30, 2016 4:11 am ET
by Sagepants erectus defectus
PHONY WRESTELECTION SCRIPT HAIKU
Trump speaks gibberish,
Clinton is lying again,
We need Ric Flair now!
Haiku # 55236, October 30, 2016 1:45 am ET
by PhilMyCrevice of BF Wyoming
Fuck the electoral college.
Lets get rid of that shit right now.
Dinosaurs didn't need it, so why should we?
Seriously, I'd like my vote to matter.
Under the electoral college, it does not.
Fuck the electoral college and all who support it.
Haiku # 55235, October 29, 2016 3:23 pm ET
by df
Dinosaurs are cool.
If I could vote them back and
humans out, I would.
Haiku # 55234, October 29, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by df
I can't find anything reliable about any upcoming wars on youtube. Maybe things will be okay. Assuming someone assassinates Trump and Clinton at the same time and aliens come down to show us how to take better care of this planet and we stop using so much frivolous stuff like junk food and the internet. I think I'm finally getting better. I just blew out the hugest booger I've ever made in my life. We're talking epic. Thanks Science for modern meds, eh? Steroid nasal spray. Now I can beat my wife and have an excuse. Ha ha. Being able to breathe again has made me randy. Ah life.
Haiku # 55233, October 29, 2016 3:12 pm ET
by df
That sucks about your friend and I'm sorry to hear that. I've never had a bad experience w/ shrooms b/c I think they are quite mild even when you take large dose. Acid on the other hand, I can see as being quite dangerous on all levels.
Haiku # 55232, October 29, 2016 2:58 pm ET
by df
war and rumors of
wars on the youtube as the
leaders shit their pants
Haiku # 55231, October 29, 2016 1:47 pm ET
by vhs
damn typoes but you
know under duress things have
ways of turning out
Haiku # 55230, October 29, 2016 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i lost a friend when
he was tripping on mushrooms
accidental thing

it still haunt me to this dy
Haiku # 55229, October 29, 2016 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
confessional po
-ems are a long lived life, I'm
still alive although
Haiku # 55228, October 29, 2016 1:41 pm ET
by vhs
I need some sleep now.
Please don't pilfer my penis.
I need it to pee.
Haiku # 55227, October 29, 2016 9:04 am ET
by df
Tripping on mushroom
while at a national park
hot spring was awesome.
Haiku # 55226, October 29, 2016 9:01 am ET
by df
Gaseous output
of humans destroys the earth --
retain your flatus.
Haiku # 55225, October 29, 2016 8:59 am ET
by df
I need a long rest.
Five years sleep would do nicely.
Or perhaps just death.
Haiku # 55224, October 29, 2016 8:55 am ET
by df
Oregon kicks ass.
People there love to get high.
We got free ice cream!
Haiku # 55223, October 29, 2016 8:53 am ET
by df
I went to Boston.
The people there were not nice.
They never smiled.
Haiku # 55222, October 29, 2016 8:51 am ET
by df
How much for a heart?
How much is your liver worth?
Mine is not worth much.
Haiku # 55221, October 29, 2016 8:50 am ET
by df
I just locked the door.
Never know who is outside.
They'll sell my organs.
Haiku # 55220, October 29, 2016 8:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Lemurs have femurs.
But negros do not grow knees.
Well... maybe they do.
Haiku # 55219, October 29, 2016 8:47 am ET
by df
Mountain biking nuns
seek enlightenment through pain
and broken femurs.
Haiku # 55218, October 29, 2016 8:45 am ET
by df
Toxic shock syndrome
is not possible to get
for Kaitlyn Jenner.
Haiku # 55217, October 29, 2016 8:42 am ET
by df
Raw oysters can kill.
But then so can raw bullets.
Swallow molten lead.
Haiku # 55216, October 29, 2016 8:39 am ET
by df
I keep hearing things.
The ghosts want me to come home.
They need groceries.
Haiku # 55215, October 29, 2016 8:37 am ET
by df
I'd like a teen whore.
I don't care about my wife.
I know it is wrong.
Haiku # 55214, October 29, 2016 8:35 am ET
by df
While on a big wave
you should try not to nose dive--
that would be painful.
Haiku # 55213, October 29, 2016 8:34 am ET
by df
Captchas know my thoughts.
Even before I have them.
Happy Halloween.
Haiku # 55212, October 29, 2016 8:32 am ET
by df
Here there are no cows.
And those cows are quite happy.
You should be a cow.
Haiku # 55211, October 29, 2016 8:31 am ET
by df
A fast car went by.
Worms turn shit into compost.
Chewbaca defense.
Haiku # 55210, October 29, 2016 8:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I massaged my cat.
He did not become larger.
Eating mice did that.
Haiku # 55209, October 29, 2016 8:28 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Massage my testes.
Will it make them grow larger?
Let's find out, shall we.
Haiku # 55208, October 29, 2016 8:26 am ET
by df
I'll massage your tits.
And grab you by the pussy.
Call it therapy.
Haiku # 55207, October 29, 2016 8:25 am ET
by df
Good morning U.S.
Your election is a joke
Try reading a book
Haiku # 55201, October 29, 2016 4:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'll never eat ass.
The thought makes me want to puke.
Raw uncleaned chitlins.
Haiku # 55200, October 28, 2016 11:16 pm ET
by df
Tostitos spinach
dip in a jar is nasty
like eating an ass.
Haiku # 55199, October 28, 2016 11:13 pm ET
by df
My wife is sleeping.
The cat crept up, sniffed her butt.
That was disgusting.
Haiku # 55198, October 28, 2016 6:24 pm ET
by df
Terrible thoughts lurk.
I like Hannibal Lecter.
He makes me happy.
Haiku # 55197, October 28, 2016 6:19 pm ET
by df
My friends are all dead.
Heart attacks and accidents.
Those stupid assholes.
Haiku # 55196, October 28, 2016 6:14 pm ET
by df
This will be pointless.
But I suppose that's the point.
Waggie Yoogle Floonk.
Haiku # 55195, October 28, 2016 6:12 pm ET
by df
She has a nice ass.
Four in five dentists agree.
The other is gay.
Haiku # 55194, October 28, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by df
you know in these end
times if we do more art and
they don't come then what

will people speak of
arts or farts or Steppenwolf
seven five seven
Haiku # 55193, October 28, 2016 1:33 pm ET
by vhs
I fart way too much.
Do you think Beano's for me?
What do doctors say?

You won't believe this!
The captcha is "Sauf Colon".
Did it read my mind?!

Grunt!
Haiku # 55192, October 28, 2016 9:40 am ET
by df
nonsense, miracle
whipper snapper, you know all
that 23 skidoo
Haiku # 55180, October 27, 2016 12:11 pm ET
by vhs
Whipper snapper!
Haiku # 55179, October 27, 2016 11:58 am ET
by df
i just turned 43
today which isn't bad i just
wonder what's up next

better call saul maybe
Haiku # 55178, October 27, 2016 11:56 am ET
by vhs
existential stuff
really, we make the meaning
of our lives in times
Haiku # 55177, October 27, 2016 11:55 am ET
by vhs
grins, the world is a
vampire, a real smashing
insight by a great song

and if the vampire girlfriend shows up I'll let you know how that turns out :)
Haiku # 55176, October 27, 2016 11:54 am ET
by vhs
You feel that way,
vhs, because you're right.
It is all pointless.

The world is a thief.
The universe keeps taking.
And nothing changes.

God designed the universe to fail.
Therefore we cannot take over His position.
We have no power to overthrow Him.
Not like He's a president or king.
The first and second laws of thermo: (1) you can't create shit, (2) shit just keeps getting worse.
It all makes sense. Laws of The Ultimate Dictator.
Haiku # 55175, October 27, 2016 7:50 am ET
by df
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