Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 40 Days and 77431 Haiku later...

Router and IP
Wi-fi and lan
Visit our site and
you will be know what is it 192.168.l.l
Haiku # 54335, September 5, 2016 6:45 am ET
by Lin of Berlin
website manager
reading my words in real time
we owe you monkeys
Haiku # 54334, September 5, 2016 5:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
India arrives
You should have seen it coming
grandma went without
Haiku # 54333, September 5, 2016 5:21 am ET
by Spamboticus Eroticus of Diplodocus ricotta cud
the sky in my heart
poops in the mouth of your brain
thank you, come again
Haiku # 54330, September 5, 2016 5:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker's Mom of Sexy Underground Bunker
spider fucked you up
did not say"I am sorry."
deal with it bitches
Haiku # 54329, September 5, 2016 4:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Her dildo has a
one-coulomb capacitor
upgrade from kick start.

His pocket pussy
hydrogen fuel cell powered
polyurethane.

Masturbate guilt-free.
Environmentally clean.
Life-sized T-rex toy.

Pee-Wee Herman caught
again, but this time watching
3D Godzilla.
Haiku # 54326, September 4, 2016 8:48 pm ET
by df
This is so empty.
Devoid of all emotion.
And you do not care.


.
.
.
.
.
.



"You" does not mean you;
No one in particular;
"you" in general.

vhs!
Haiku # 54325, September 4, 2016 11:14 am ET
by df
Eating out fat wife.
Familiar boring flavor.
It ain't butter scotch.
Haiku # 54324, September 4, 2016 10:57 am ET
by df
chicken sex not so
funny, poop, funny, horses
well i did know once of

LATEX PONY GIRL
but that's a real girl who wants
to be of burden
Haiku # 54323, September 4, 2016 10:55 am ET
by vhs
Beware the feces.
Carabao land mine hazards.
Lethal roads at night.

Here lies Jong Bong Fong.
Killed driving his bike through poop.
May he rest in peace.

He did not see it.
Eight hundred fifty pesos
for a new headlight.
Haiku # 54322, September 4, 2016 2:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
welcome paradise
made up by storytellers
market fundaments
Haiku # 54321, September 3, 2016 11:40 am ET
by vhs
Sit on the sideline...
Mercury Radiation
Marvin Gaye has dead
Haiku # 54320, September 3, 2016 5:36 am ET
by You head of the dead bed shed
You have been searching
traditional idea
with new recipient
Haiku # 54319, September 3, 2016 5:30 am ET
by Land of Liberty
Sound punishes us
Iceland volcano marble
Rock on my brother
Haiku # 54318, September 3, 2016 5:24 am ET
by Donkey of Monkey
But are they human?
No actualization!
They are only slaves.
Haiku # 54317, September 2, 2016 8:45 pm ET
by Self Expression
when it does come time
for robots to take away
low wage jobs from kids...

the whole wage slave gen
x thing seems to pale because
ideas vs tradition

the old plant closes
down, no pay phones, rental stores

poof, no kodak film
Haiku # 54316, September 2, 2016 1:15 pm ET
by vhs
If they were robots,
it would not be near as bad;
they are human slaves.
Haiku # 54315, September 2, 2016 10:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
if one could get the
spambots to say the name backwards
would they self destruct?

like a certain guy
in the superman comics
that was a trickster
Haiku # 54314, September 1, 2016 10:07 pm ET
by vhs
I'm wondering if a
computer server is in
a sort of digitized

seizure trying to
remember all these random codes
being spit out on here
Haiku # 54313, September 1, 2016 10:03 pm ET
by vhs
there is a method
to these random spammer names
like myxlwigpics.

If you google them
you'll find them on other boards
with more spam, of course.

My penis fell off.
Leprosy isn't so bad.
No fat wife begging.
Haiku # 54312, September 1, 2016 7:12 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Would you rather have
intestinal parasites
or read this poem?
Haiku # 54301, August 31, 2016 1:59 am ET
by DF
tucker carlson on
tv talking to this blonde strong
willed writer trashing

liberals again...
Haiku # 54300, August 30, 2016 10:24 am ET
by vhs
Walking from the bar,
I stepped in buffalo poop,
1:00 a.m. and drunk.

It oozed through sandals,
covering my sunburned feet,
and I did not mind.

Shooting stars passed by.
A lewd wish about young girls
far out of my league.

Dogs growled, barked, or whined
as I quietly passed by
wishing they would bite.

All of this is true.
Please take from it what you will.
Or just leave it here.
Haiku # 54299, August 29, 2016 9:46 pm ET
by DF
The open window
lets out a racket of farts
for neighbors to hear.
Haiku # 54298, August 29, 2016 9:27 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and then he knifed him
self tired of hearing the
legalistic crap

consigning his soul
to hellfire over 5 bucks
on a contract signed
Haiku # 54295, August 29, 2016 12:35 pm ET
by vhs
Huffing super glue.
Getting drunk on cough syrup.
Paper bag spray paint.
http://www.dbalmax-reviews.com/
Haiku # 54294, August 29, 2016 9:55 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Looking for proven, effective Dianabol for Sale without side effects? Discover premium Dbal-Max Pills currently helping guys build mass safely. http://www.dbalmax-reviews.com/
Haiku # 54293, August 29, 2016 4:00 am ET
by Dianabol for sale of California
Feather duster worms.
Dry out and crush their remains.
Snort them like cocaine.

The ghosts of demons
dance naked in your left ear,
giving you orders.

Obey completely.
Do exactly as you're told.
Otherwise you'll die.
Haiku # 54292, August 29, 2016 12:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Something to ponder;
If French people eat French toast,
do they call it "toast?"
Haiku # 54291, August 29, 2016 12:18 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
Well, if it is French,
then it must be poetry.
Watch Killing Zoe.

There is a French whore
asking to be shat upon.
It sounds beautiful!
Haiku # 54290, August 28, 2016 8:39 pm ET
by DF
if you pull your damn
t-shirt over your head one
more time well you know

we need to reduce
the crappucino intake
to reduce relapse
Haiku # 54288, August 27, 2016 11:42 am ET
by vhs
I should go get drunk.
And then cheat on my fat wife.
Instead of working.
Haiku # 54287, August 27, 2016 7:46 am ET
by df
Almost 20 years.
I would expect an upgrade.
The same as a spouse.
Haiku # 54286, August 27, 2016 3:29 am ET
by df
eepruoyt will now treat us to SEO spam. Or sites done in India. Or something. It's obvious.
Haiku # 54285, August 27, 2016 3:27 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Exclamation Point!
One comma; semicolon
So, do you love me?
Haiku # 54284, August 27, 2016 3:14 am ET
by Haveshingles Shecola
Almost twenty years
That's ancient for a website
What can you expect?
Haiku # 54282, August 26, 2016 11:14 pm ET
by Mandongo Play Bongo
Sure, allow hot-links,
but do not allow smart quotes
or apostrophes.

Makes a lot of sense.
This site is made for spammers.
Or so it seems like.

A conspiracy!
It reflects the universe.
Not sure which is worse.

Poetry and life.
They should reflect each other.
And indeed they do.

Leech-like parasites.
Spammers, haters, and poets.
Feeding off themselves.

Cannibalistic.
Native jungle tribe stew pot.
Hannibal Lecter.

I'll have the liver,
with a side of fava beans,
and nice chianti.

Upgrade this website.
Make posts public, but log in
required to post.

DUH!


Haiku # 54281, August 26, 2016 10:16 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I need oleo.
Oleo for my bunghole.
Do you have TP?

Bring me your TP!
My bunghole will be angry!
Are you threat'ning me?!
Haiku # 54277, August 26, 2016 9:51 pm ET
by The Great Cornholio of Lake Titicaca
I miss you in the night
but you forgot me in the day
heart broken
Haiku # 54276, August 26, 2016 9:41 pm ET
by Nisa of San Jose
the risk click on this
to what, to where, the blind path
the alley mugged on
Haiku # 54275, August 26, 2016 6:59 pm ET
by vhs
I miss you in the night
but you forgot me in the day
heart broken
Haiku # 54274, August 26, 2016 2:35 am ET
by Nisa of San Jose
tides of twisted time
washing through us like a wave
beyond our control
Haiku # 54273, August 26, 2016 1:25 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
great cornhoolio
is my t-shirt today once
he was popular

now he is but a
face on donation t shirts
at a goodwill store
Haiku # 54272, August 25, 2016 1:56 pm ET
by vhs
i'm posting here a
bit to push some of the spam
out of the way now
Haiku # 54271, August 25, 2016 1:55 pm ET
by vhs
this internet was
once a novelty but now
it is the zeitgeist
Haiku # 54270, August 25, 2016 1:45 pm ET
by vhs
I'm making a lot
of life changes today and
the waiting scares me
Haiku # 54269, August 25, 2016 1:37 pm ET
by vhs
i just wish we could
control "hello hello" etc
so posts could be this
Haiku # 54268, August 25, 2016 1:34 pm ET
by vhs
james patterson ventures into his darkest climate yet... verse...

james patterson releases lyrics for new song, "better than you", as sung by jack reacher (as portrayed by pitbull)...

james patterson releases retro vinyl album designed to appeal to the young... achieves meta-ironic success...

james patterson begins to sell life-sized realdoll recreations of his famous characters... scenes portrayed with guns begin appearing online...

famous writers rebel against patterson hegemony... put down by lifelike reacherbots...

patterson hegemony splits along lines of reacher/cross schism...

pittsburgh becomes site zero of nuclear warfare as aging writer's cybernetics fail, technology needed for repair lost in great internet fire of 2039...

death falls as giant cockroaches begin swarming out of mutated ohio river... streams of human/robot alliance emerge... put down insects... humanity vows, never again... all bestsellers destroyed

fourteen thousand years later... alien probe uncovers unburnt copy of "private paris"... infection spreads to interstellar reach... abstract patterforms begin emerging from depths of dead space..
Haiku # 54263, August 24, 2016 6:15 pm ET
by peter of pgh
I typically watch
What What in the Butt and stuff
like that to laugh at.

Seriously, though,
I still like Tool's videos,
but they need new ones!

Haven't heard new bands
that I am ape shit over
in a long long time.

Old age settle in.
A squatter I cant evict.
I should surf naked.

Beats chasing young sluts.
Pregnant girls or diseases.
Ain't got time for that!
Haiku # 54262, August 24, 2016 2:13 pm ET
by df
watching videos
on youtube with weird band names
cannibal corpse? well

they're not that good but
toad the wet sprocket those guys
are actually good
Haiku # 54261, August 24, 2016 11:33 am ET
by vhs
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >