The inverse square law
of mosquito density
near ocean beaches.

They don't like salt breeze.
Neither does my computer.
Both are annoying.

The ocean is home.
Home is where your surf board is.
Nothing else matters.

Oh my fucking God!
What just came out of my ass?!
It's a hermit crab!!

I don't remember
putting one of those up there.
Don't sleep at the beach.

Every time I'm here,
there's a Red Bull enema
waiting just for me.

the old stores are say
going out, "creative de-..."
what fills in the blank?

empty spaces, blank
minds, externalized handheld
brains thinking for man

the world is falling
apart in some shape or form
and people don't care

I've heard that story
before, history repeats
and we all grow old

complain about change
see our world fade to shadow
get housed, retired

Cheap Florida land
Quick access to clean beaches
Retirement tomb

had to deal with the
Great Old One before, sort of
scared him back to R'yleh

Needle, the damage
Done. Massive damage done.
My name is Amy.

My butt is bleeding,
Whores are laughing. Long haul
truckers' life is hell.

Delirious screams,
Abominable orgies.
Chtulhu is rising.

all things must come to
an end good or bad or both
peace and war, two words

in college i had
a girl with a karoke
stereo and she would

have her Elmo toy
magnify through the speakers
THAT TICKLES HEE HEE!!!

i lost my temper
and broke her Footprints poem, and
1990s memories

well we will vouch for
you as we surely do have
insanity here

have to look out for
each other and Elmo you
know, that tickles...hee hee

Run naked through a
fancy restaurant with a
Tickle Me Elmo.

The doll's optional,
but helps your insanity
plea if you get caught.

Enjambment is when
a sentence continues from
one line to the next.

This is frowned on in
traditional poetry,
but here no one cares.

words fly like drunk birds
both funny and pathetic
somewhat poetic

My God, I am old!
It's gotten to the point that
I don't like pooping.

I need a nurse aide.
She could give me enemas
at least twice a day.

colonic bugle
calling the troops left behind
heroic actions

Don't do LSD
You will forget how to count
Lose your effing mind

i come on here and
i wonder what will be next
where the story goes

perhaps district nine
will become a reality
but space bugs? really??

quite the story for
a metaphor on south of
africa, you know

LSD is
a minuscule molecule
that packs a big punch.

We will all be killed.
By a giant meteor.
All problems thus solved.

Trump should build a wall.
Around the entire Earth.
ALIENS STAY OUT!

relief, the taste of
something simple as yogurt
and the words shall flow

Hello!

Stupid reCaptcha.
"Could not open socket", eh?
We'll see about that.

be an optimist
all of the worlds worst problems
will solve themselves

Nose-riding surfers.
How dare they defy physics!
Arrogant bastards.

How many midget
Philippino prostitutes
does it take to (blank)?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Forty-two.

How about this one:
What did the epileptic
leper say to the

Mexican gynecologist?

I should write something.
I can't think of anything.
My mind is a blank.

and then i get the
slang on vanilla lives what
does he really do?????

yes i just noticed
the bad grammar, but post to
post, editors rule

we've none here right now, hence all the spam etc

laughing, cackle, cough
ahem, very funny now
i need to post this

I don't believe it.
Your bad grammar is catching.
Did you notice it?

Oh, Christ, vhs!
I just took His name in vain.
You're grammar needs work.

It cracks me up when people... not you vhs, but other people... write "Praise Jesus" or something on a bathroom wall. I just wonder, does Jesus really want to be praised while I'm taking a dump? I seriously doubt it. There is a time and place for everything. Worship and tending to bodily business ought to be separate. Don't you think?

So I often reply to religious bathroom stall graffiti with "I don't think Jesus wants to be praised while your pooping! Be respectful!"

ok so we're old men
`at a sort of internet
"bar" posting haiku...

keep posting assholes (for Mel Brooks)

When you're getting old
never waste an erection.
SWEEEE!!! SU-SU-SU-EEEEE!!!!

Never waste a fart.
Chateau du Flatus popped cork.
{SNIIIFFFFFF} What a good year!

defend your acre
prove you are no forsaker
cowards be ye all

easy to predict
like animals responding
sing song light my bong

Did Darth just pass gas?
Putting it in a sealed jar
Save it for later

Did Janis pass on?
If so, may she rest in peace.
If not, never mind.

Testicular zits.
They are itchy and painful.
Like reading this site.

yes i have a thing
for Poison Ivy, the girl
from Batman with a

symbol for ladies
who like other ladies oh
harley quinn!!! shameless

oh betwixt here and
there somehow they just keep
coming, net kudzu

"hi so sorry to be happy so happy to be sorry i am happy that i am sorry for being happy"

Hi jains, thanks for your site: ) Sure great webpage for friends communication, have you forgot me, Emily, welcome to our homepage again:) Don't worry, this is not spam :)

do i need to sit
down and watch hollyweird crap
mars needs women not

mars needs robocop.
will i quote obscure movies
is obscure ideal?

do you want to kill
this place? too much has died and
too much forgotten