Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 43 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

Needle, the damage
Done. Massive damage done.
My name is Amy.
Haiku # 53686, April 14, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Barry of Barryville
My butt is bleeding,
Whores are laughing. Long haul
truckers' life is hell.
Haiku # 53685, April 14, 2016 3:36 pm ET
by Nenad of Belgrade
Delirious screams,
Abominable orgies.
Chtulhu is rising.
Haiku # 53684, April 14, 2016 3:16 pm ET
by Nenad of Belgrade
all things must come to
an end good or bad or both
peace and war, two words
Haiku # 53683, April 14, 2016 12:17 pm ET
by vhs
in college i had
a girl with a karoke
stereo and she would

have her Elmo toy
magnify through the speakers
THAT TICKLES HEE HEE!!!

i lost my temper
and broke her Footprints poem, and
1990s memories
Haiku # 53682, April 14, 2016 12:00 pm ET
by vhs of talk about hitting the wall
well we will vouch for
you as we surely do have
insanity here

have to look out for
each other and Elmo you
know, that tickles...hee hee
Haiku # 53681, April 14, 2016 11:57 am ET
by vhs
Run naked through a
fancy restaurant with a
Tickle Me Elmo.

The doll's optional,
but helps your insanity
plea if you get caught.
Haiku # 53680, April 14, 2016 7:11 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
Enjambment is when
a sentence continues from
one line to the next.

This is frowned on in
traditional poetry,
but here no one cares.
Haiku # 53679, April 14, 2016 7:05 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
words fly like drunk birds
both funny and pathetic
somewhat poetic
Haiku # 53678, April 14, 2016 1:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
My God, I am old!
It's gotten to the point that
I don't like pooping.

I need a nurse aide.
She could give me enemas
at least twice a day.
Haiku # 53677, April 13, 2016 10:33 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker = f ' of x
colonic bugle
calling the troops left behind
heroic actions
Haiku # 53676, April 13, 2016 7:25 pm ET
by ash
Don't do LSD
You will forget how to count
Lose your effing mind
Haiku # 53675, April 13, 2016 7:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
i come on here and
i wonder what will be next
where the story goes
Haiku # 53672, April 13, 2016 3:13 pm ET
by vhs
perhaps district nine
will become a reality
but space bugs? really??

quite the story for
a metaphor on south of
africa, you know
Haiku # 53671, April 13, 2016 11:36 am ET
by vhs
LSD is
a minuscule molecule
that packs a big punch.
Haiku # 53670, April 13, 2016 9:47 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
We will all be killed.
By a giant meteor.
All problems thus solved.

Trump should build a wall.
Around the entire Earth.
ALIENS STAY OUT!
Haiku # 53668, April 12, 2016 8:54 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker of 42 10101
relief, the taste of
something simple as yogurt
and the words shall flow
Haiku # 53667, April 12, 2016 3:46 pm ET
by vhs
Hello!
Haiku # 53666, April 12, 2016 2:55 pm ET
by ptiepepy of USA
Stupid reCaptcha.
"Could not open socket", eh?
We'll see about that.
Haiku # 53665, April 12, 2016 1:17 pm ET
by Adam
be an optimist
all of the worlds worst problems
will solve themselves
Haiku # 53664, April 11, 2016 9:02 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Nose-riding surfers.
How dare they defy physics!
Arrogant bastards.
Haiku # 53663, April 11, 2016 8:40 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
How many midget
Philippino prostitutes
does it take to (blank)?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Forty-two.
Haiku # 53662, April 10, 2016 5:21 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
How about this one:
What did the epileptic
leper say to the

Mexican gynecologist?
Haiku # 53661, April 10, 2016 5:17 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
I should write something.
I can't think of anything.
My mind is a blank.
Haiku # 53660, April 10, 2016 5:09 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
and then i get the
slang on vanilla lives what
does he really do?????
Haiku # 53659, April 10, 2016 2:12 pm ET
by vhs
yes i just noticed
the bad grammar, but post to
post, editors rule

we've none here right now, hence all the spam etc
Haiku # 53658, April 10, 2016 1:11 pm ET
by vhs
laughing, cackle, cough
ahem, very funny now
i need to post this
Haiku # 53657, April 10, 2016 1:09 pm ET
by vhs
I don't believe it.
Your bad grammar is catching.
Did you notice it?
Haiku # 53654, April 9, 2016 6:11 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Oh, Christ, vhs!
I just took His name in vain.
You're grammar needs work.

It cracks me up when people... not you vhs, but other people... write "Praise Jesus" or something on a bathroom wall. I just wonder, does Jesus really want to be praised while I'm taking a dump? I seriously doubt it. There is a time and place for everything. Worship and tending to bodily business ought to be separate. Don't you think?

So I often reply to religious bathroom stall graffiti with "I don't think Jesus wants to be praised while your pooping! Be respectful!"
Haiku # 53653, April 9, 2016 6:07 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
ok so we're old men
`at a sort of internet
"bar" posting haiku...

keep posting assholes (for Mel Brooks)
Haiku # 53652, April 9, 2016 1:22 pm ET
by vhs of you're proud christian asshole
When you're getting old
never waste an erection.
SWEEEE!!! SU-SU-SU-EEEEE!!!!
Haiku # 53651, April 9, 2016 12:34 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Never waste a fart.
Chateau du Flatus popped cork.
{SNIIIFFFFFF} What a good year!
Haiku # 53649, April 9, 2016 12:24 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
defend your acre
prove you are no forsaker
cowards be ye all
Haiku # 53648, April 9, 2016 5:20 am ET
by Eye in the Sky of you lie
easy to predict
like animals responding
sing song light my bong
Haiku # 53647, April 9, 2016 2:26 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Did Darth just pass gas?
Putting it in a sealed jar
Save it for later
Haiku # 53646, April 9, 2016 1:48 am ET
by Eye in the Sky
Did Janis pass on?
If so, may she rest in peace.
If not, never mind.
Haiku # 53645, April 8, 2016 9:06 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
Testicular zits.
They are itchy and painful.
Like reading this site.
Haiku # 53644, April 8, 2016 9:01 pm ET
by Darth Figpucker
yes i have a thing
for Poison Ivy, the girl
from Batman with a

symbol for ladies
who like other ladies oh
harley quinn!!! shameless
Haiku # 53642, April 7, 2016 8:56 pm ET
by vhs
oh betwixt here and
there somehow they just keep
coming, net kudzu

"hi so sorry to be happy so happy to be sorry i am happy that i am sorry for being happy"
Haiku # 53641, April 7, 2016 8:52 pm ET
by vhs
Hi jains, thanks for your site: ) Sure great webpage for friends communication, have you forgot me, Emily, welcome to our homepage again:) Don't worry, this is not spam :)
Haiku # 53640, April 7, 2016 2:11 pm ET
by Emily of San Jose
do i need to sit
down and watch hollyweird crap
mars needs women not

mars needs robocop.
will i quote obscure movies
is obscure ideal?
Haiku # 53639, April 7, 2016 12:39 pm ET
by vhs
do you want to kill
this place? too much has died and
too much forgotten
Haiku # 53638, April 7, 2016 9:40 am ET
by vhs
it's like dealing with
the guy who can't sit still in
class and he ends up

in the principals.
can't sit still, throws paper planes
ends up in juve.
Haiku # 53637, April 7, 2016 9:38 am ET
by vhs
How much wood would a
woodchuck chuck if woochucks chuck
If woodchucks could chuck wood?
Haiku # 53636, April 7, 2016 7:49 am ET
by Scootz of Rhode Island
We need explosions.
Laser beams and naked girls.
3D blood and gor.

Free beer would work well.
Free anything would be fine.
Free Charles Manson!
Haiku # 53635, April 6, 2016 5:35 pm ET
by Darth Figpubker
Your lines are mundane.
I see old Japanese ghosts.
They roll in their graves.
Haiku # 53634, April 6, 2016 11:55 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
"Shove your enjambment
up your fat fucking asshole!"
said the Australian.
Haiku # 53633, April 6, 2016 11:45 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
and lisa simpson
said to the gay crowd "we are used
to you" vacuum now
Haiku # 53632, April 6, 2016 10:54 am ET
by vhs
I banged a sea worm.
This will be my second time.
It's safer than whores.

Sea worms don't have AIDS.
And they're quite slimy inside.
Better than Fleshlight.
Haiku # 53631, April 6, 2016 2:33 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
living in a small
town where there's still a bit less
internet, old stuff

still kicks around but
i feel like these things should not
go away completely
Haiku # 53630, April 5, 2016 11:57 am ET
by vhs
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