Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 45 Days and 77437 Haiku later...

who said retarded ?
you did,mister machismo
suck a bag of dicks
Haiku # 50958, June 5, 2014 12:56 am ET
by ash
i have been tardy
lately i've done it again
guess that's retardy
Haiku # 50956, June 4, 2014 10:52 am ET
by ash
Go to college son
Get a master's degree sir
So you get good work

Graduated well
Now plumbing and wiring stuff
Life is weird. Aww Foock.
Haiku # 50955, May 28, 2014 12:51 pm ET
by Roberuto_Renga of Clients boilerroom. - not kidding
Again links to sites
Boner pills and other piss
Flaccid be your piece

Spamming ads I hate
Not even haiku are these
My rant, just two cents
Haiku # 50953, May 27, 2014 6:43 pm ET
by Roberuto_Renga
No, not too creepy.
But your mom pooping for you...
That would be nasty.

I would expect that,
however, from men who write
haiku on this site.
Haiku # 50951, May 25, 2014 3:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Haiku gives me joy
like pooping for my mommy
Is that too creepy?
Haiku # 50950, May 25, 2014 3:08 am ET
by Drunk
Pooping gives me joy.
Like have a yard sale.
You get rid of shit.
Haiku # 50949, May 24, 2014 10:50 am ET
by Darth Figpucker
You did what I said.
You followed my instructions.
Congratulations.
Haiku # 50948, May 24, 2014 12:39 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
will this even work
a grand experiment
html tags
Haiku # 50947, May 23, 2014 6:37 pm ET
by akdsd
Death to all numbers.
Obliterate them to nil.
Smash them to zero.











































Interdimensional aliens have explained in great detail to me that we must learn to do math without numbers, without counting, else we are doomed to annihilation by God and once we learn this glorious holy communication with nature and the cosmos then we will assure our immortality and place by his side. The turtles had learned it, but have since forgotten. This was in the days before the last great extinction. Dinosaurs could count. Are we no better than they?
The tortoise and the hare. We must eat hasenpfeffer. Slow down.
You understand, don't you?
Haiku # 50946, May 23, 2014 1:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Counting is not good.
In fact it is downright bad.
You should never count.
Haiku # 50945, May 23, 2014 10:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Repeat repeating
is the weakest Of the weak
So there there there there
Haiku # 50944, May 23, 2014 1:44 am ET
by Oingo Dingo
repeating is weak.
i don't believe that at all.
repeating is weak.
Haiku # 50943, May 22, 2014 11:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That was lazier
Than your old man in the sack
Repeating is weak
Haiku # 50942, May 22, 2014 10:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My pearl necklace.
For your wife or your girlfriend.
Oink, oink, squee, squee, snort.
Haiku # 50941, May 20, 2014 9:24 pm ET
by Mandingle Eberry
My pearls before swine
you electronic hoodlums
step up, have at 'em
Haiku # 50940, May 20, 2014 1:08 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
San Diego Surf
is too cold. When I surf nude
I only hang two.
Haiku # 50938, May 18, 2014 11:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Six brand new haiku
In less than sixty minutes
You must be on meth
Haiku # 50937, May 17, 2014 9:25 pm ET
by Aunt Bea of Mayberry
Intimidating??
Dog the bounty hunter has
That short man's syndrome

Defy gravity
Know what I'm talking about?
They're from the same show
Haiku # 50936, May 17, 2014 6:42 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Near San Diego
San Onofre power plant
It's Dolly Parton!

Surfed at the nude beach
The terms "longboard" and "hang ten"
Now mean something new

Nude volleyball game
Oddly disgusting to watch
Ball handling error!
Haiku # 50935, May 17, 2014 6:20 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Soon after tacos
The cilantro took effect
And oh did it burn
Haiku # 50934, May 17, 2014 6:11 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
I would like to ask
Enrique Iglesias
"Where did that mole go??"
Haiku # 50933, May 17, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Self-lubricating
The Spam shot through my bowels
Like cheese through a goose
Haiku # 50932, May 17, 2014 6:07 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
I ate too much Spam
And all I have to show is
A spastic colon
Haiku # 50931, May 17, 2014 6:05 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
goodridanceski
Haiku # 50929, May 16, 2014 10:49 am ET
by Mush
doneski
Haiku # 50927, May 16, 2014 1:15 am ET
by Lush
You must be honest.
Who here wouldn't fuck Samwell?
What what in the butt!
Haiku # 50926, May 16, 2014 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
humperificous unanimous
bootylicious delicious booty
eatin' that big bouncy ass.
Who eats Bouncy Beyonce's ass???
I mean, that's just nasty.
But nowhere near as low
as reading haiku.
Haiku # 50925, May 16, 2014 12:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Numbers are stupid.
Like who needs them anyway.
Testicles: one, two.
Haiku # 50924, May 15, 2014 10:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Viagra is good
Viagra Man Viagra man good
Harder and harder
Haiku # 50923, May 14, 2014 10:37 pm ET
by Viagra Man and BADASS PIMPTRON of THE ROTATING BED IN MY FRIDGE
There are no poems.
There's only reality.
And this is neither.






























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Haiku # 50922, May 14, 2014 9:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A vid addition
renders any erection
super duper hard

if it's porn, that is.
Oh, those silly Japanese.
You gotta love 'em.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



And now for our porn.
Porn made in the USA.
Why the world loves us:




This is really sick.
Disturbing, twisted, vile.
UK porn's the worst.



Enough porn for now.
Tomorrow I'll link to the
Monkey rapes a goat.

(Music vid on Youtube.)
And I will use autostart.
Fuck, I hate counting.

Haiku # 50921, May 13, 2014 5:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
stupid free verse, no matter how stupendous, is not terse and, thus not haiku. stifle your moronism, blast the schism, and adhere, whilst here, to the sole prescription, the maledictiuon... three lines, and a count... those syllables amount to some pierced viscount's notion of fluid emotion. Oh shit... violation.
Who the fuck cares. My final semblance caters to embolism... dizziness ... ajf8r4ies
Haiku # 50920, May 13, 2014 2:39 am ET
by Lush
a gif addition
renders any rendition
super duper lame
Haiku # 50919, May 13, 2014 2:33 am ET
by Lush of check
Nuclear-powered masturbatory reflexivity elongation enhancement.
That's right, white boy, now you too can make them scream.
Get it now while supplies last. Satisfy your wife and 6 mistresses tonight with your glow-in-the-dark swollen spongy tissue. H.R. Geiger counter Alien meat on rye.
Thank you Canadian Wal-mart.com

I would like Viagra Spam if they would just be creative about it, but oh no, that's just too much to ask.
Be evil; read evi1- a novel about you, the most evil book in the universe
Haiku # 50918, May 12, 2014 7:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Today's Haiku is
Brought to you by the letter
'Q' and number Pi
Haiku # 50916, May 12, 2014 1:07 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Taco bell poem!
That is too too too funny.
Like a lot lot lot.
Haiku # 50915, May 9, 2014 10:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Taco Bell poems
Would recycle the same words
Over and over

Haiku # 50914, May 8, 2014 9:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like counting.
And that includes syllables.
So why am I here?

This is robot work.
Robots writing poetry.
What a great concept.

Welcome to McD's
Here's a McPoem for you.
You want fries with that?
Haiku # 50913, May 8, 2014 9:19 am ET
by William Blakespear's evil clone
"Tiger not sexy!
Dangerous to go in cage!"
They yell as I run....
Haiku # 50912, May 8, 2014 12:57 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
sixty-nine sixty-nine cool
sixty-nine sexy-nine cool cool cool
6969 wow
Haiku # 50910, May 6, 2014 7:53 pm ET
by Bored Poet of Room 2
WHY oh Why must I
Sit next to Dick, tell me why
why why tell me why
Haiku # 50909, May 6, 2014 7:27 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of YOUR PARTNERS BED
Some gays like mousing.
Yet I prefer badgering.
Oh, those poor badgers.
Haiku # 50908, May 6, 2014 5:47 pm ET
by Offensive novel of Geek Love, Snuff, Transmetropolitan
No freedom is good.
It makes you want to smash them.
And bring about change.

We all hate lawyers.
Even lawyers hate lawyers.
But we elect them.

We chose those we hate.
And we let them run our lives.
Sort of like marriage.
Haiku # 50907, May 6, 2014 8:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Plotting the doom of the City Planning Board... Effing road construction everywhere... damn govt.!
The Government is
a piece of shit first they
try and block torrents

What a bore whats next?
No free internet porn or music
Sharers I can't think of worse
Haiku # 50906, May 5, 2014 7:47 pm ET
by Concerned internet user
yet still oh still oh
I make this for you dear reader
Still oh still I write
Haiku # 50905, May 5, 2014 7:22 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of YOUR PARTNERS BED
Poetry oh poetry
Why do I care, oh wait, LOL
I don't give a shit
Haiku # 50904, May 5, 2014 7:17 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of MY PIMP PAD
There was a hot chick.
I stared at her boobs all day.
She slapped me for it.
Haiku # 50903, May 5, 2014 1:53 pm ET
by Boob Starer
Dick farts ARE awesome.
Catheter bubbles make farts.
And it feels good too.

I made a dick fart.
But it was only one time.
Oh, fond memories
Haiku # 50902, May 5, 2014 7:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker The Highly Inappropriate
#YOLOSWAG
SECRETLY WE R GAY
YOU AN ME AND U
Haiku # 50900, May 4, 2014 8:52 pm ET
by DICK FARTS ARE AWESOME of A school more commonly known as SHIVINGTON
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