Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 55 Days and 78007 Haiku later...
will this even work
a grand experiment
html tags
Haiku # 50947 May 23, 2014 6:37 pm ET
by akdsd
Death to all numbers.
Obliterate them to nil.
Smash them to zero.











































Interdimensional aliens have explained in great detail to me that we must learn to do math without numbers, without counting, else we are doomed to annihilation by God and once we learn this glorious holy communication with nature and the cosmos then we will assure our immortality and place by his side. The turtles had learned it, but have since forgotten. This was in the days before the last great extinction. Dinosaurs could count. Are we no better than they?
The tortoise and the hare. We must eat hasenpfeffer. Slow down.
You understand, don't you?
Haiku # 50946 May 23, 2014 1:18 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Counting is not good.
In fact it is downright bad.
You should never count.
Haiku # 50945 May 23, 2014 10:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Repeat repeating
is the weakest Of the weak
So there there there there
Haiku # 50944 May 23, 2014 1:44 am ET
by Oingo Dingo
repeating is weak.
i don't believe that at all.
repeating is weak.
Haiku # 50943 May 22, 2014 11:39 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
That was lazier
Than your old man in the sack
Repeating is weak
Haiku # 50942 May 22, 2014 10:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
My pearl necklace.
For your wife or your girlfriend.
Oink, oink, squee, squee, snort.
Haiku # 50941 May 20, 2014 9:24 pm ET
by Mandingle Eberry
My pearls before swine
you electronic hoodlums
step up, have at 'em
Haiku # 50940 May 20, 2014 1:08 pm ET
by Mandingo Ebola
San Diego Surf
is too cold. When I surf nude
I only hang two.
Haiku # 50938 May 18, 2014 11:44 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Six brand new haiku
In less than sixty minutes
You must be on meth
Haiku # 50937 May 17, 2014 9:25 pm ET
by Aunt Bea of Mayberry
Intimidating??
Dog the bounty hunter has
That short man's syndrome

Defy gravity
Know what I'm talking about?
They're from the same show
Haiku # 50936 May 17, 2014 6:42 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Near San Diego
San Onofre power plant
It's Dolly Parton!

Surfed at the nude beach
The terms "longboard" and "hang ten"
Now mean something new

Nude volleyball game
Oddly disgusting to watch
Ball handling error!
Haiku # 50935 May 17, 2014 6:20 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Soon after tacos
The cilantro took effect
And oh did it burn
Haiku # 50934 May 17, 2014 6:11 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
I would like to ask
Enrique Iglesias
"Where did that mole go??"
Haiku # 50933 May 17, 2014 6:08 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
Self-lubricating
The Spam shot through my bowels
Like cheese through a goose
Haiku # 50932 May 17, 2014 6:07 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
I ate too much Spam
And all I have to show is
A spastic colon
Haiku # 50931 May 17, 2014 6:05 pm ET
by Jeff Brenner of California
goodridanceski
Haiku # 50929 May 16, 2014 10:49 am ET
by Mush
doneski
Haiku # 50927 May 16, 2014 1:15 am ET
by Lush
You must be honest.
Who here wouldn't fuck Samwell?
What what in the butt!
Haiku # 50926 May 16, 2014 12:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
humperificous unanimous
bootylicious delicious booty
eatin' that big bouncy ass.
Who eats Bouncy Beyonce's ass???
I mean, that's just nasty.
But nowhere near as low
as reading haiku.
Haiku # 50925 May 16, 2014 12:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Numbers are stupid.
Like who needs them anyway.
Testicles: one, two.
Haiku # 50924 May 15, 2014 10:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Viagra is good
Viagra Man Viagra man good
Harder and harder
Haiku # 50923 May 14, 2014 10:37 pm ET
by Viagra Man and BADASS PIMPTRON of THE ROTATING BED IN MY FRIDGE
There are no poems.
There's only reality.
And this is neither.






























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Haiku # 50922 May 14, 2014 9:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A vid addition
renders any erection
super duper hard

if it's porn, that is.
Oh, those silly Japanese.
You gotta love 'em.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.



And now for our porn.
Porn made in the USA.
Why the world loves us:




This is really sick.
Disturbing, twisted, vile.
UK porn's the worst.



Enough porn for now.
Tomorrow I'll link to the
Monkey rapes a goat.

(Music vid on Youtube.)
And I will use autostart.
Fuck, I hate counting.

Haiku # 50921 May 13, 2014 5:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
stupid free verse, no matter how stupendous, is not terse and, thus not haiku. stifle your moronism, blast the schism, and adhere, whilst here, to the sole prescription, the maledictiuon... three lines, and a count... those syllables amount to some pierced viscount's notion of fluid emotion. Oh shit... violation.
Who the fuck cares. My final semblance caters to embolism... dizziness ... ajf8r4ies
Haiku # 50920 May 13, 2014 2:39 am ET
by Lush
a gif addition
renders any rendition
super duper lame
Haiku # 50919 May 13, 2014 2:33 am ET
by Lush of check
Nuclear-powered masturbatory reflexivity elongation enhancement.
That's right, white boy, now you too can make them scream.
Get it now while supplies last. Satisfy your wife and 6 mistresses tonight with your glow-in-the-dark swollen spongy tissue. H.R. Geiger counter Alien meat on rye.
Thank you Canadian Wal-mart.com

I would like Viagra Spam if they would just be creative about it, but oh no, that's just too much to ask.
Be evil; read evi1- a novel about you, the most evil book in the universe
Haiku # 50918 May 12, 2014 7:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Today's Haiku is
Brought to you by the letter
'Q' and number Pi
Haiku # 50916 May 12, 2014 1:07 am ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Taco bell poem!
That is too too too funny.
Like a lot lot lot.
Haiku # 50915 May 9, 2014 10:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Taco Bell poems
Would recycle the same words
Over and over

Haiku # 50914 May 8, 2014 9:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I don't like counting.
And that includes syllables.
So why am I here?

This is robot work.
Robots writing poetry.
What a great concept.

Welcome to McD's
Here's a McPoem for you.
You want fries with that?
Haiku # 50913 May 8, 2014 9:19 am ET
by William Blakespear's evil clone
"Tiger not sexy!
Dangerous to go in cage!"
They yell as I run....
Haiku # 50912 May 8, 2014 12:57 am ET
by Mandingo Ebola
sixty-nine sixty-nine cool
sixty-nine sexy-nine cool cool cool
6969 wow
Haiku # 50910 May 6, 2014 7:53 pm ET
by Bored Poet of Room 2
WHY oh Why must I
Sit next to Dick, tell me why
why why tell me why
Haiku # 50909 May 6, 2014 7:27 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of YOUR PARTNERS BED
Some gays like mousing.
Yet I prefer badgering.
Oh, those poor badgers.
Haiku # 50908 May 6, 2014 5:47 pm ET
by Offensive novel of Geek Love, Snuff, Transmetropolitan
No freedom is good.
It makes you want to smash them.
And bring about change.

We all hate lawyers.
Even lawyers hate lawyers.
But we elect them.

We chose those we hate.
And we let them run our lives.
Sort of like marriage.
Haiku # 50907 May 6, 2014 8:35 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Plotting the doom of the City Planning Board... Effing road construction everywhere... damn govt.!
The Government is
a piece of shit first they
try and block torrents

What a bore whats next?
No free internet porn or music
Sharers I can't think of worse
Haiku # 50906 May 5, 2014 7:47 pm ET
by Concerned internet user
yet still oh still oh
I make this for you dear reader
Still oh still I write
Haiku # 50905 May 5, 2014 7:22 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of YOUR PARTNERS BED
Poetry oh poetry
Why do I care, oh wait, LOL
I don't give a shit
Haiku # 50904 May 5, 2014 7:17 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON of MY PIMP PAD
There was a hot chick.
I stared at her boobs all day.
She slapped me for it.
Haiku # 50903 May 5, 2014 1:53 pm ET
by Boob Starer
Dick farts ARE awesome.
Catheter bubbles make farts.
And it feels good too.

I made a dick fart.
But it was only one time.
Oh, fond memories
Haiku # 50902 May 5, 2014 7:19 am ET
by Darth Figpucker The Highly Inappropriate
#YOLOSWAG
SECRETLY WE R GAY
YOU AN ME AND U
Haiku # 50900 May 4, 2014 8:52 pm ET
by DICK FARTS ARE AWESOME of A school more commonly known as SHIVINGTON
Just cause I'm bored
I Write this for you and me
Go fuck yourself now
Haiku # 50899 May 4, 2014 8:33 pm ET
by BAD ASS PIMPTRON
Wait just a minute!
So "iamback" is censored.
However I'm not?!

That's just insulting!
I should be roasted alive.
And then fed to pigs.

All my poems burned.
Then put in jars of acid.
Never read again.
Haiku # 50898 May 4, 2014 10:10 am ET
by Darth Figpucker the Highly Inappropriate of On a Vogon Ship, giving lessons on bad poetry.
This site is worthless.
Hard-on pills and gross haiku.
Where's the poems at?

No moderator.
Has the website owner died?
Or she just don't care.

I ain't seen no art.
Ain't none on this here website.
Just bad comedy.
Haiku # 50896 May 2, 2014 8:44 am ET
by Redneck Samurai
He is pure nasty.
Consumed by the nasty side.
More douche than a man.
Haiku # 50894 April 29, 2014 8:23 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I liked you at first,
but I see your nasty side.
Thus I must move on.
Haiku # 50893 April 29, 2014 12:37 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You came here for fun???
Or as you say, "enjoyment"???
What is wrong with you?!?!
Haiku # 50891 April 28, 2014 4:52 pm ET
by Bad Vogon Poetry of Don't forget your towell.
Every weekend i used to pay a visit this website, for the reason that i wish for enjoyment, for the reason ceabckbdefcd
Haiku # 50890 April 28, 2014 2:26 am ET
by wttywuwy of USA
I like to fuck goats.
And I like to fuck chickens.
So I'm a pervert.
Haiku # 50889 April 27, 2014 2:20 pm ET
by iamback of back o' da jiggen haus, vuggin dem jiggins n' goats.
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