the sad teenage dream
to be or not to be sad
delayed puberty

Yes, but did they have
cutting edge psychedelic
drugs in their milk drinks?

Did young teeny kids
hang out in the Korova
bar of which you speak?

Drencrom, vellocet,
and synthamesc are all good.
They can't beat acid.

D-lysergic acid
diethylamide two-five.
I think I'll make some.

The drug Alex took
reminds me of DMT.
Sounds identical.

Dead head chemistry.
Acid got on top of me.
I'm seein' ET!

you ever have a co
worker fart in your general
direction but

he wasn't quite French and
he was a decent friend and
asterix the gaul

has his decendants

there was a real bar
called the korova based on
the book, it's closed now

and it had come back
up, reopened but oh God
damn these sad lean times

You're a Clockwork fan
but my reference to cream
and spiking it was...

well, say perverted,
a bit unsanitary
more in keeping with

Fight Club, but not with
urine or meringue with farts.
Think extra protein.

I'd only do this
at Starbucks, never a local
cyber coffee shop.

Speaking of fart pie,
I'm extra gassy this morn.
(Fans it towards Ash.). ;-)

Mister Pakistan
Not a Duran Duran fan
But likes Depeche Mode

with synthmesc or peet
it with vellocet and see
Bog or God and all

His Holy Monkees, hey hey

Too small for typing
and too small for viewing porn;
i-phones are pure shit!

Give me my laptop
and a dark corner in a
cyber coffee shop.

Just don't ask me why
I took so many napkins
or I'll spike the cream.

When I was a youth
I had something in my palm
morning, noon, and night.

Cigarette Monkey
I told you that you looked cool
Why did you stab me?

i don't want to be
immortal, live in a world
philip k dick

dreamed of and what
would today's youth do with no
smartphones in their palm?

A fly is buzzing.
It lands on my coffee mug.
I swat and it drowns.

I agree, yes sir!
Have to agree completely.
The monkeys need knives.

Money phuque dodgeball
must be played with knives and swords.
The last monkey wins.

There's nothing wrong here.
No, there's nothing wrong at all.
Everything's okay.

Phuque monkey dodgeball
Vonnegut Jesus Sharon olds
Mobile homeboy spank

My drunken daydreams
Don't seem to scream anything
Until I wake up poop

Jeep grand Cherokee
Bacon, beer, buds, 'bacco, Non-
Negotiable

all right all right you're
an avant garde writer who
"lives the life" Jesus...

we get it, glad you're
back, get it together get
paper on the shelves

Oh shit, I'm evil.
The most evil man alive!
I flipped off a nun!

(No, not really, but this is worse!)

Evi1--A Novel About You by Darth Figpucker

Prostitutes and beer.
Sun, surf, snorkeling, and "sins".
sinsemilla bud.

A place to be me.
I think that's what I'm craving.
Or perhaps needing.

I should not be here.
But is there a better place?
Prison or the beach.

oh, lamentations
these are the least of a day
subscribe to my blog

perfect ablutions
yet again my ass doth itch
insurmountable

random numerals
and street address epithets
decipherable

netbot protection
provided by a netbot
reCaptcha this, dick

wind behind my eyes
palpitations troublesome
this is my sunrise

I've heard that old joke
before, but to take the slums
out of a person

before one goes on
outside the body and then
so on and so forth

We're all fucking doomed.
If we don't clean up our act.
Also the planet.

and there;s the coda
we didn't start the fire
applies to now too

historical change
events day after day, leaves
marks on the psyche

and time marches on
so another year older
yet none the wiser

Take your vitamins.
Winter time is upon us.
Boost immune system.

Now here's one for you:
Read Transmetropolitan.
It's a comic book.

The main character
is Spider Jerusalem.
He's a journalist.

It's in the future.
He's like Hunter S. Thompson
holding a ray gun.

Except the ray gun
will make you shit your trousers.
That's literally.

A "Bowel Disruptor".
That's what the ray gun is called.
I need one of those.

never awake lit
high with a little help, son
everyone's thirsty

neurotransmission
serotonin, dopamine
all the same to me

how slight is the nudge?
coffee is noncommittal
try some dexedrine

seems our little web-
site here was born in scorp like
i was, how fitting...

yes you seem to have
a thing for poets like harry
s truman did for

generals, why he
absolutely hated ike
yes plain speaking bull...

well i haven't read
Geek Love underlined
yet, but like those sorts

of books one time and
one place, catcher in the rye
and all that cal

You forgot Geek Love.
It has freaks and chickens too.
With incest to boot!

Katherine Dunn kicks ass.
Despite being a poet.
No one is perfect.

Ursula from the
Horsehead Nebula; she's a
giant douche like me!

Douches are useful.
We clean out stinky pussies.
For men with small dicks.

coffee is the most
important sacrament with
or without sugar

it is sex, drugs, and
the best come down from all the
naked lunches and

clockwork oranges
and american psychos
fuck em all, I must

know my brother joe

can you enjoy or
entertain us without the
need to be a douche?

have us join in on
the act and i am glad to
I'm glad you had the

faith, or lack of, to
come back and banter, that you
slavoj? broken wings...

i am gen x and
quietly glaring at you
with your god damned chai

damn that's my damn chai
oregon chai, sweet nectar
it just is damn sweet

it's the time of the season you know and the winter of our challenge and discontnent...

bangs head in wall and
over and over must run
from hometown, prophets

are not welcome there

Barista, Latte!
Tall mocha frappuccino.
Caffeine motivate.

Real machiatto.
Espresso and heavy cream.
Heart goes thump thump thump.

Hello St. Peter.
What am I doing up here?
I'm too young to die.

Too much coffee, man.
You bleed crystals of caffeine.
And you pee Red Bull.

Now I slam the gates.
And send you straight down to hell.
That's where you belong!

Well, okay, I guess.
But do they have good coffee?
I can't live without.

Oh shit, a poem!
I can't effing believe it!
A sign of end times.

Repent, ye sinners!
I guess that means all of us.
'specially poets.

the dead rose and walked
the halls of wal mart, muck boots
on, fishing class real

Maine Zombie Lobstermen...

Which one is the best?
I mean boner pills, of course.
I don't mean haiku.

Is Viagra good?
Or do you like Cialis?
Or the herbal choice?

How hard will it get?
Can I drive it through a can?
Like a can of Spam?

Went for a long walk.
Came home, shat, showered, and shaved.
And then misbehaved.

No.