Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 58 Days and 77449 Haiku later...

i am gen x and
quietly glaring at you
with your god damned chai

damn that's my damn chai
oregon chai, sweet nectar
it just is damn sweet

it's the time of the season you know and the winter of our challenge and discontnent...
Haiku # 50370, November 12, 2013 3:57 pm ET
by vhs
bangs head in wall and
over and over must run
from hometown, prophets

are not welcome there
Haiku # 50369, November 12, 2013 10:52 am ET
by vhs
Barista, Latte!
Tall mocha frappuccino.
Caffeine motivate.

Real machiatto.
Espresso and heavy cream.
Heart goes thump thump thump.

Hello St. Peter.
What am I doing up here?
I'm too young to die.

Too much coffee, man.
You bleed crystals of caffeine.
And you pee Red Bull.

Now I slam the gates.
And send you straight down to hell.
That's where you belong!

Well, okay, I guess.
But do they have good coffee?
I can't live without.
Haiku # 50368, November 12, 2013 10:38 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The fiery barbeque pits of Hell.
Oh shit, a poem!
I can't effing believe it!
A sign of end times.

Repent, ye sinners!
I guess that means all of us.
'specially poets.
Haiku # 50367, November 11, 2013 9:55 pm ET
by The black rhino died for your sins.
the dead rose and walked
the halls of wal mart, muck boots
on, fishing class real

Maine Zombie Lobstermen...
Haiku # 50366, November 11, 2013 9:12 pm ET
by vhs
Which one is the best?
I mean boner pills, of course.
I don't mean haiku.

Is Viagra good?
Or do you like Cialis?
Or the herbal choice?

How hard will it get?
Can I drive it through a can?
Like a can of Spam?

Haiku # 50365, November 11, 2013 4:18 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Hollywood Studio Casting Couch
Went for a long walk.
Came home, shat, showered, and shaved.
And then misbehaved.
Haiku # 50362, November 10, 2013 9:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
No.
Haiku # 50361, November 10, 2013 9:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
did you really have
to put a picture of two
elephants fucking?
Haiku # 50360, November 10, 2013 6:24 am ET
by vhs
Like Michael Jackson?
He was his inner child...
Or enter child.

The King of Pop (Tarts)
Liked to sniff little boys' farts.
That's just too wild.

This is too cheesy.
I prefer sharp to mild.
While being sleezy.

Time to bang the tang.
I can't stop rhyming, oh dang.
Now I'm using slang.

Haiku # 50359, November 9, 2013 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you have to grow old
but you don't have to grow up
be your inner child
Haiku # 50358, November 9, 2013 7:03 pm ET
by ash
we all go downhill
people say it's gravity
but attitude counts
Haiku # 50357, November 9, 2013 7:01 pm ET
by ash
1. A ramp/box system has a coefficient of kinetic friction of 0.218 and the box is given a slight nudge down the ramp angled at 35 degrees. Calculate the acceleration down the ramp and how long it will take to travel 5.5 meters down the ramp? Use g equal to 9.8 m/s^2. Give your answer as a haiku.
Haiku # 50356, November 9, 2013 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
but still to think I
could like a movie like old
"starcrash" and on moved

a man to a show
with a talking car that might
have been a cylon
Haiku # 50355, November 9, 2013 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i don't want to post
anything because I was
like you long ago

"look at me, look at
me look at me, jokes jokes jokes"
old at a young age

young at an old age
Haiku # 50354, November 9, 2013 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
We don't need pills that
make your dick gain three inches;
We need smaller poon!
Haiku # 50353, November 9, 2013 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dali Lama and
Obama did yo momma
upon a llama.
Haiku # 50352, November 9, 2013 11:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Life on a tree limb
Like a squirrel looking for
Garbage filled with gold
Haiku # 50351, November 9, 2013 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I lied. All I do
Maybe brings me back to you
With donkeys in tow
Haiku # 50350, November 9, 2013 12:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I lied. All I do
Maybe brings me back to you
With donkeys in tow
Haiku # 50349, November 9, 2013 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm smelly today.
I haven't bathed in a week.
Maybe one week more.
Haiku # 50348, November 8, 2013 9:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Take your i-phone and...
shove it way deep up your ass!
(First set to vibrate.)
Haiku # 50347, November 8, 2013 9:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Look what I did!
I ate some corn for breakfast!
Posted on Facebook.
Haiku # 50346, November 8, 2013 9:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well i do that on
a routine basis for I
am mad north by

northwest
Haiku # 50345, November 8, 2013 1:07 am ET
by vhs
I am now going.
Way deep down inside my mind.
You'll never find me.
Haiku # 50344, November 7, 2013 9:45 pm ET
by LSD will set you free.
A link to a link.
Now I SPAM, therefore I stink.
Like Viagra balls.

My advice to you:
Take Viagra twice daily,
then go to the zoo.
Haiku # 50343, November 7, 2013 4:20 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you and yo momma too. of A Spam kiosk in an Asian shopping mall.
if i have to hear
anything else about shadownets
or anything else, well

whoop tie do
Haiku # 50342, November 7, 2013 11:27 am ET
by vhs
Reverse engineer.
Live links with negative words.
I am too evil.
Haiku # 50340, November 6, 2013 3:47 pm ET
by Free Cocaine! of Sex, drugs, and Beethoven
Take your junk mail.
With business reply postage.
Write poems on it.

Or maybe dirty jokes.
Or wipe your boogers on it.
And then return it.

Make sure that they know
that it is you who sent it.
The trees will love you.
Haiku # 50335, November 5, 2013 7:55 am ET
by Crazy man butt naked at the computer with a sprite, spicy pretzel sticks, and sharp cheddar. of The basement of Satan's outhouse
I went to the bank.
I stole their toilet paper.
Charge me for bill pay!
Haiku # 50334, November 5, 2013 7:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
in times of plenty
the words flow the ideas gleam
now all seems quite sparse
Haiku # 50333, November 4, 2013 10:20 pm ET
by vhs
I'm not at the beach.
I am not riding a wave.
I am not happy.
Haiku # 50332, November 4, 2013 1:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A giant calm falls.
The crash of infinite void.
Tension builds within.
Haiku # 50331, November 4, 2013 1:06 pm ET
by Waiting For the Axe of Not Japan
Watching colors change
Hoping something will happen
What? I do not know
Haiku # 50330, November 3, 2013 7:13 pm ET
by datgirldare
I don't have a taste
For work that doesn't pay much
And bores me to sleep
Haiku # 50329, November 3, 2013 7:09 pm ET
by datgirldare
look we had those back
in 2008, pastel colors
en-tit-tle-ments......

i think someone needs
to invest in our culture
here and bring back jobs
Haiku # 50328, November 2, 2013 12:41 pm ET
by vhs
If you eat people,
then you never need to starve.
Slurp slurp slurp slurp slurp!



evi1 - a novel about you
.
Haiku # 50327, November 2, 2013 11:53 am ET
by What do you call Obama when he becomes a zombie? of An Obambie! Yes We Cannibal!
well you are what you
can an artist and we live
in starving art times
Haiku # 50326, November 2, 2013 1:31 am ET
by vhs
What a shitty week.
Laptop crashed and scanner's broke.
Clients all pissed off.

A whore's life is hard.
I'll do anything for cash.
Even post spam here.
Haiku # 50325, November 1, 2013 3:17 pm ET
by Fibonacci prime ribs and Vector hot rods.
the world is getting
way too carried away
with these end times things
Haiku # 50324, November 1, 2013 1:35 pm ET
by vhs
Screen cracked
Tea corroded keyboard
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Haiku # 50323, November 1, 2013 12:15 pm ET
by Haiku happens of Hell's ringpiece
i always over the
years saw "zen" here but how does
one zen in these times?
Haiku # 50322, November 1, 2013 12:06 pm ET
by vhs
tsk, tsk vhs
observations general
fear not, I love thee
Haiku # 50320, November 1, 2013 1:18 am ET
by Lush
i of course refer
to myself because it might
not matter to you

but it does to me
but God damned if I've put up
with creative word

slingers and just said
fuck you, you all belong in
a support group not

writing poetry
forestalling mental help or
eventual breakdown
Haiku # 50319, November 1, 2013 1:14 am ET
by vhs
well jesus christ lush
you might cause the Higgs boson
to implode passing

it another old
fashioned, and if you're gonna
dice me up like you

have, pass me a drink
Haiku # 50318, November 1, 2013 1:11 am ET
by vhs
a source-less remorse
immune to the jejune
pervades my soul hole
Haiku # 50317, October 31, 2013 11:56 pm ET
by Lush
I'm anti anti
wasting no time opposing
positive valence
Haiku # 50316, October 31, 2013 11:51 pm ET
by Lush
concocting a cure
for a concocted vaccine
achieving nothing
Haiku # 50315, October 31, 2013 11:49 pm ET
by Lush
self-referential
and the interdependent
identity lost
Haiku # 50313, October 31, 2013 11:45 pm ET
by Lush
sometimes my mood just
snaps, questions the value of
having sincere lies

stuck in my head and
just retreating into a
quiet room and just

say fuck it and not
show up for work and start a
new some place else where

well i know why some
folks have to go it alone
Haiku # 50312, October 31, 2013 10:54 am ET
by vhs
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