Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 58 Days and 77449 Haiku later...

We're all fucking doomed.
If we don't clean up our act.
Also the planet.
Haiku # 50385, November 14, 2013 12:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
and there;s the coda
we didn't start the fire
applies to now too

historical change
events day after day, leaves
marks on the psyche
Haiku # 50384, November 14, 2013 11:25 am ET
by vhs
and time marches on
so another year older
yet none the wiser
Haiku # 50383, November 14, 2013 7:43 am ET
by ash
Take your vitamins.
Winter time is upon us.
Boost immune system.

Now here's one for you:
Read Transmetropolitan.
It's a comic book.

The main character
is Spider Jerusalem.
He's a journalist.

It's in the future.
He's like Hunter S. Thompson
holding a ray gun.

Except the ray gun
will make you shit your trousers.
That's literally.

A "Bowel Disruptor".
That's what the ray gun is called.
I need one of those.
Haiku # 50381, November 13, 2013 11:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
never awake lit
high with a little help, son
everyone's thirsty
Haiku # 50380, November 13, 2013 1:28 am ET
by Lush
neurotransmission
serotonin, dopamine
all the same to me
Haiku # 50379, November 13, 2013 1:26 am ET
by Lush
how slight is the nudge?
coffee is noncommittal
try some dexedrine
Haiku # 50378, November 13, 2013 1:25 am ET
by Lush
seems our little web-
site here was born in scorp like
i was, how fitting...
Haiku # 50377, November 13, 2013 12:27 am ET
by vhs
yes you seem to have
a thing for poets like harry
s truman did for

generals, why he
absolutely hated ike
yes plain speaking bull...
Haiku # 50376, November 13, 2013 12:25 am ET
by vhs
well i haven't read
Geek Love underlined
yet, but like those sorts

of books one time and
one place, catcher in the rye
and all that cal
Haiku # 50375, November 13, 2013 12:24 am ET
by vhs
You forgot Geek Love.
It has freaks and chickens too.
With incest to boot!

Katherine Dunn kicks ass.
Despite being a poet.
No one is perfect.
Haiku # 50374, November 12, 2013 10:03 pm ET
by Darth Garth Barf Scarf
Ursula from the
Horsehead Nebula; she's a
giant douche like me!

Douches are useful.
We clean out stinky pussies.
For men with small dicks.

Haiku # 50373, November 12, 2013 9:55 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
coffee is the most
important sacrament with
or without sugar

it is sex, drugs, and
the best come down from all the
naked lunches and

clockwork oranges
and american psychos
fuck em all, I must

know my brother joe
Haiku # 50372, November 12, 2013 4:02 pm ET
by vhs
can you enjoy or
entertain us without the
need to be a douche?

have us join in on
the act and i am glad to
I'm glad you had the

faith, or lack of, to
come back and banter, that you
slavoj? broken wings...
Haiku # 50371, November 12, 2013 4:00 pm ET
by vhs
i am gen x and
quietly glaring at you
with your god damned chai

damn that's my damn chai
oregon chai, sweet nectar
it just is damn sweet

it's the time of the season you know and the winter of our challenge and discontnent...
Haiku # 50370, November 12, 2013 3:57 pm ET
by vhs
bangs head in wall and
over and over must run
from hometown, prophets

are not welcome there
Haiku # 50369, November 12, 2013 10:52 am ET
by vhs
Barista, Latte!
Tall mocha frappuccino.
Caffeine motivate.

Real machiatto.
Espresso and heavy cream.
Heart goes thump thump thump.

Hello St. Peter.
What am I doing up here?
I'm too young to die.

Too much coffee, man.
You bleed crystals of caffeine.
And you pee Red Bull.

Now I slam the gates.
And send you straight down to hell.
That's where you belong!

Well, okay, I guess.
But do they have good coffee?
I can't live without.
Haiku # 50368, November 12, 2013 10:38 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of The fiery barbeque pits of Hell.
Oh shit, a poem!
I can't effing believe it!
A sign of end times.

Repent, ye sinners!
I guess that means all of us.
'specially poets.
Haiku # 50367, November 11, 2013 9:55 pm ET
by The black rhino died for your sins.
the dead rose and walked
the halls of wal mart, muck boots
on, fishing class real

Maine Zombie Lobstermen...
Haiku # 50366, November 11, 2013 9:12 pm ET
by vhs
Which one is the best?
I mean boner pills, of course.
I don't mean haiku.

Is Viagra good?
Or do you like Cialis?
Or the herbal choice?

How hard will it get?
Can I drive it through a can?
Like a can of Spam?

Haiku # 50365, November 11, 2013 4:18 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you of Hollywood Studio Casting Couch
Went for a long walk.
Came home, shat, showered, and shaved.
And then misbehaved.
Haiku # 50362, November 10, 2013 9:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
No.
Haiku # 50361, November 10, 2013 9:16 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
did you really have
to put a picture of two
elephants fucking?
Haiku # 50360, November 10, 2013 6:24 am ET
by vhs
Like Michael Jackson?
He was his inner child...
Or enter child.

The King of Pop (Tarts)
Liked to sniff little boys' farts.
That's just too wild.

This is too cheesy.
I prefer sharp to mild.
While being sleezy.

Time to bang the tang.
I can't stop rhyming, oh dang.
Now I'm using slang.

Haiku # 50359, November 9, 2013 10:54 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you have to grow old
but you don't have to grow up
be your inner child
Haiku # 50358, November 9, 2013 7:03 pm ET
by ash
we all go downhill
people say it's gravity
but attitude counts
Haiku # 50357, November 9, 2013 7:01 pm ET
by ash
1. A ramp/box system has a coefficient of kinetic friction of 0.218 and the box is given a slight nudge down the ramp angled at 35 degrees. Calculate the acceleration down the ramp and how long it will take to travel 5.5 meters down the ramp? Use g equal to 9.8 m/s^2. Give your answer as a haiku.
Haiku # 50356, November 9, 2013 6:13 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
but still to think I
could like a movie like old
"starcrash" and on moved

a man to a show
with a talking car that might
have been a cylon
Haiku # 50355, November 9, 2013 1:44 pm ET
by vhs
i don't want to post
anything because I was
like you long ago

"look at me, look at
me look at me, jokes jokes jokes"
old at a young age

young at an old age
Haiku # 50354, November 9, 2013 1:43 pm ET
by vhs
We don't need pills that
make your dick gain three inches;
We need smaller poon!
Haiku # 50353, November 9, 2013 11:54 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Dali Lama and
Obama did yo momma
upon a llama.
Haiku # 50352, November 9, 2013 11:53 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Life on a tree limb
Like a squirrel looking for
Garbage filled with gold
Haiku # 50351, November 9, 2013 1:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I lied. All I do
Maybe brings me back to you
With donkeys in tow
Haiku # 50350, November 9, 2013 12:58 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I lied. All I do
Maybe brings me back to you
With donkeys in tow
Haiku # 50349, November 9, 2013 12:57 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm smelly today.
I haven't bathed in a week.
Maybe one week more.
Haiku # 50348, November 8, 2013 9:40 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Take your i-phone and...
shove it way deep up your ass!
(First set to vibrate.)
Haiku # 50347, November 8, 2013 9:36 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Look what I did!
I ate some corn for breakfast!
Posted on Facebook.
Haiku # 50346, November 8, 2013 9:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
well i do that on
a routine basis for I
am mad north by

northwest
Haiku # 50345, November 8, 2013 1:07 am ET
by vhs
I am now going.
Way deep down inside my mind.
You'll never find me.
Haiku # 50344, November 7, 2013 9:45 pm ET
by LSD will set you free.
A link to a link.
Now I SPAM, therefore I stink.
Like Viagra balls.

My advice to you:
Take Viagra twice daily,
then go to the zoo.
Haiku # 50343, November 7, 2013 4:20 pm ET
by evi1 - a novel about you and yo momma too. of A Spam kiosk in an Asian shopping mall.
if i have to hear
anything else about shadownets
or anything else, well

whoop tie do
Haiku # 50342, November 7, 2013 11:27 am ET
by vhs
Reverse engineer.
Live links with negative words.
I am too evil.
Haiku # 50340, November 6, 2013 3:47 pm ET
by Free Cocaine! of Sex, drugs, and Beethoven
Take your junk mail.
With business reply postage.
Write poems on it.

Or maybe dirty jokes.
Or wipe your boogers on it.
And then return it.

Make sure that they know
that it is you who sent it.
The trees will love you.
Haiku # 50335, November 5, 2013 7:55 am ET
by Crazy man butt naked at the computer with a sprite, spicy pretzel sticks, and sharp cheddar. of The basement of Satan's outhouse
I went to the bank.
I stole their toilet paper.
Charge me for bill pay!
Haiku # 50334, November 5, 2013 7:38 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
in times of plenty
the words flow the ideas gleam
now all seems quite sparse
Haiku # 50333, November 4, 2013 10:20 pm ET
by vhs
I'm not at the beach.
I am not riding a wave.
I am not happy.
Haiku # 50332, November 4, 2013 1:10 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A giant calm falls.
The crash of infinite void.
Tension builds within.
Haiku # 50331, November 4, 2013 1:06 pm ET
by Waiting For the Axe of Not Japan
Watching colors change
Hoping something will happen
What? I do not know
Haiku # 50330, November 3, 2013 7:13 pm ET
by datgirldare
I don't have a taste
For work that doesn't pay much
And bores me to sleep
Haiku # 50329, November 3, 2013 7:09 pm ET
by datgirldare
look we had those back
in 2008, pastel colors
en-tit-tle-ments......

i think someone needs
to invest in our culture
here and bring back jobs
Haiku # 50328, November 2, 2013 12:41 pm ET
by vhs
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