understanding life
gum on the sidewalk, try to
salvage the good stuff

be quick on the keys
at any time someone could
walk by and catch you

I love feminists!
those bitches are very skilled
at giving knobjobs

test we had today
about proteins. not a lot
of fun... bah, bio

stimpack! stimpack! fall
back! attack! and hast thou slain
the zergish horde? yay

sigh so bored. hydras
and marines move so slowly
on this crappy comp

fried green tomatoes
just spray on butter, and throw
them in the oven, yum!

im bored bored bored bored
nothing to do today or
the next... no school

rendering beef fat
watching protien shrink in size
God bless spatula

Friday the Thirteenth.
Luckiest day to be born.
Send Sheena Mothballs!

Swallowing me whole
Watery vision distorts
I can not escape

Shooting boy-butter
is almost automatic
with suction applied.

Boy, I love Guinness!
Dark beer, nectar from the Gods!
Wish I had some now.

Kimberly, you make
an excellent point about
toplessness. More boobs!

My mechanic said
to change turn signal fluid.
What brand should I try?

Kindly omit the
word "mean" from my last haiku.
...meant to delete it.

Ignorance:

This word is worse than
that word. Nevermind that they mean
express the same thing.

Women's magazines--
How to submit and conform
to ideals of men.

flutter, flutter, flutt,
flutter, flutter, flutter, flutt;
nibble nibble nibb

The shirt, the veil, they
are the same: a limit to
make men feel stronger.

Why are men allowed
to be publicly topless,
while women are not?

If I want to die,
that is my right. I had no
choice in being born.

Integrity of
self, or living inside the
law? How can I choose?

Ash, only forty two?
I have socks older than you.
From my great grandpa!

Try exorcism.
Moths are spawn of Hell itslef.
That should do the trick.

Sheena, moths are back?
Try using a flamethrower.
Wait. Don't. Moths like light.

nothing is finer
then entering vagina
from right behind her.

with regards to age
i am the meaning of life
or so some mice say

twenty first replay
since my twenty first bithday
i am so ancient

i feel like granny
all i need is rimless specs
and a hairy wart

ash, i won't sing song
in nasal monotone whine-
but how old you now?

Vingt-et-Un:

well if frenchy's right
tis all birthday bullpatties
no more birthdays? cool.

oh, MOTHs.......like zombies
i crunch you but you return-
silver spike heels work?

my birthday is soon
friday the thirteenth...really!
lucky, lucky me.

happy birthday ash!
you too guy montag--fifteen?!
wow i feel so old

The Nightmare:

maggots transmitting
telepathic images,
waiting for the feast.

i'm madly in love
with sweetest girl ever
wish she was here now...

Congrats, Ash. if you
are a sexy lady, call
me for birthday hug!

a shaft of sunlight
held true by one cloud impales
a smoke and steel sky

hand carved and hard worn
wooden bowl shines as sunlight
dances off it's brim

Test test damned server
Put this haiku up for the
Whole world to ponder

and so i did it
after all those many years
another birthday

some minutes from now
how shall i become older
somewhat gracefully

no consequences
no reprisal, no recoil
no blame...only guilt

Hooray! I'm fifteen!
Things to do: get laid, get laid,
and, uh, er, get laid?

Birthdays are bullshit.
Completely ridiculous.
After twenty-one...