Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 13 Days and 77385 Haiku later...

Big Bloody Panda
Picking Franklin From His Teeth
Fraidy Cat is Gone

Wait!! There Are Scabs here
And Pellet Shot Mangy Fur
It Was Not Our Cat!!!

Slinking Out Cross-Eyed
With Some Poo On His Leg Fur
It's Our Little Prince!

Now We Will Have Hugs
And Cuddle Under Covers
Family Is Whole
Haiku # 38170, February 5, 2007 4:13 pm ET
by Fruity of Oakland
he said be still you
the blast made my ears bleed so
damn you..made me flinch

the days of our lives
and the world begins to turn
I'm young and restless


his past issue billed
so doggeral the puzzle
not paying troll's toll
Haiku # 38169, February 5, 2007 3:57 pm ET
by still bored and so R U
rc sproul on the proul...
or prowl, hear him howl when we
do all things yet, we

do not have love, and
threaten with sticks of violence
or become famous

for the lot of man's
glory, for the love of laurels
we but for a

stage, the flowers rot
the world winds down, no more spin
and, duh, love endures....
Haiku # 38168, February 5, 2007 11:22 am ET
by To Be Continued
I read self help books
thinking it will teach me how
to kindly deal with these

what is zab, a child?
a bully, a heckler? rename all
and any of these, response

compare zab to hitler
most people whether isolated
socially confused sorts

like myself, or even
those who get too caught up
in society might have

some empathy, some see
this as a weakness, seig heil
and so build gas chambers

chew rugs, live in bunkers
hang paper from the wall
get mocked by Charlie Chaplin

where is the Principle Centered Life when I am
nothing but a goal for

someone who wants to
deal with my own fuck ups
why bother living morally

when all I get is "blah blah blah"
he's funny...I shoot myself
in real life

I go away, for good
"ha ha ha, he shot himself"
like a thousand times before

like a thousand times before
becomes reality unless some
better reality comes along

I will make the better reality
the gun forever lying, never
used,
never bought
lugers dad dug special

truth is never cast your pearls before swine
animals only recognized instinct
"get me my beer and ham sammichs" fucking pig
first you tear our pearls

which I have finallty come to appreciate, I've lost a bit of pork fat of spirit

but then you turn and rend us

hell is real...when you get
there, mock me all you want with blah blah blah

you will not have time
to repent when you arrive
Haiku # 38167, February 5, 2007 10:10 am ET
by Moxie
the office bully
hangs out, mocking whomever
staying in one spot

until fired, you
see them plot their little games
and only by blowing

the ambition reversed
a mockery of real
action and doing...

they sit at home and
we all have a bit of this
in us, where's my

Bible when I need it
Haiku # 38166, February 5, 2007 10:01 am ET
by Mox
sometimes I'de like to
come off as a total bitch
and be really mean

oh no, shes too nice
cute sweet gullible naive
well ..I pee on u

now I feel better
zabadooey get me porn
and shut the fuck up


now boy enough..shoo
I shant be bothered with you
your likes mean nothing
Haiku # 38165, February 4, 2007 6:25 pm ET
by oranje juice and Jose
between the whistles
and the crips and the giving up
just fucking shoot me
Haiku # 38164, February 4, 2007 5:51 pm ET
by ap
so many unanswered
questions shrugged off with a laugh
a sigh and a scowl
Haiku # 38161, February 4, 2007 12:18 pm ET
by Mox
frustrated at the
bars of the corner dead towns
of aged and stuck and

chewing, spitting, teeth
encrusted for a moments
peace with red man
Haiku # 38160, February 4, 2007 10:58 am ET
by Mox
I am living here
alone, at home with urges
to lash out at this

world in some way to
make them see that I need out
and I want to live

but as I am i
want to die instead of taking
care of mindless old

aging, senile, dated
antique people who need to
die in order for

that person to get a life
and they are so old
only death sets those

around them free
Haiku # 38159, February 4, 2007 10:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I fell out of bed
Cracked my skull and all my dreams
Poured out on the floor
Haiku # 38158, February 4, 2007 3:53 am ET
by kackarott
When I grew large white
Wings out of my back I felt
Even more alone
Haiku # 38157, February 4, 2007 3:47 am ET
by Kackarott
if you could just see
the sadness in your own heart
is in everyone
Haiku # 38156, February 3, 2007 7:04 pm ET
by ash
the world is too full
of other people's madness
and some of my own
Haiku # 38155, February 3, 2007 6:29 pm ET
by ash
is hank williams jr.
a subject that ever might
cross a mind in here?
Haiku # 38154, February 3, 2007 10:42 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Gave me a hickey
Then chewed the fat with the dead
A nec(k)romancer
Haiku # 38153, February 2, 2007 11:02 pm ET
by Lush
To Dee Plee Fab

It arrived, my card
Amazed I read with joy
Thank you very much
*
Gave me great delight
Just to think you remembered
The Address found me
Haiku # 38152, February 2, 2007 12:14 pm ET
by William Nippress
ok, I'm gonna pray
for the Zabadooey
let's see what happens

then
Haiku # 38151, February 2, 2007 9:55 am ET
by Mox
digital and words
provoked, some people just don't
introspect to see

frowns, my pride says not
to say a thing but my face
is a steely dan
Haiku # 38150, February 2, 2007 9:27 am ET
by Mox
internet silence;
no signal so often now,
just like the old days

silence isn't deaf,
or dumb, or not listening,
it hears everything

heartbeats, soulbeats, mind
it breathes life, drowns background noise,
gives clarity space.

new perspectives grow,
shadows lengthen then grow dim,
sunlight brightens me

leaves shadows small, safe.
I walk brave and heart-strong now,
open to light, love

free of binding ghosts,
old patterns rewoven, fresh
open to new life

news is coming soon
adventures, discovery,
inner mining - gold!
Haiku # 38149, February 1, 2007 8:49 pm ET
by Dee Plee Fab of Adelaide
Postings, what postings?
Never believe all you read
Idiots do that
Haiku # 38148, February 1, 2007 8:06 am ET
by William Nippress
hello my penis
it's been so long since we played
longer when we do
Haiku # 38147, January 31, 2007 8:03 pm ET
by ash
Caribbean Sea
Calling to me, as I sit
Trapped in a gray cube
Haiku # 38146, January 31, 2007 2:38 pm ET
by slacktastic
zab's right, I do "masturbate"
socially and that's funny
because it's true

I take back what I wrote
Haiku # 38145, January 31, 2007 11:41 am ET
by Mox
it can be wonderful
to be provoked, make mistakes
and reap the rewards

of a public flogging
less rewarding to the zabby's
if I actually enjoy it

I am a sadomasochist
not just a masochist :)
zab, your ass, my foot

awaits :)
Haiku # 38144, January 31, 2007 10:58 am ET
by Mox
flayed death as skin burns
flesh reels and toasts and boils down
but it's just a meat

on a grill, from a
cow, to make a burger, drowned
covered in a1
Haiku # 38143, January 31, 2007 10:42 am ET
by 3a83a
the classic burning
in the public square of the
man on the cross, screamed

publicly, they wanted
Barabbas, and a book
was written of him

short novel no?
Haiku # 38142, January 31, 2007 10:40 am ET
by Moxie
yes Zab, I have a small
dick but I am sure you
have insecurities

that your tiny little mind
could never admit
unless they found you

a little real life story
for you Zab...there was this
kid who gave me a hard

time at a job, wouldn't
stop... I got done, he was
17... months later

i was afraid...they found
him with a noose around
his neck, no one to lash

out at, dead, his nephew
found him, I felt no empathy
or remorse when i saw

his name in the obituary
now i know I set myself
in the firing line but

I suspect if you whoever
you are didn't have someone
to lash out at

your sad ass would be
found, alone, dead, naked
autoerotic release

and thrown into the soil
another wasted life
full of the shallow
depthless poison of a "smart"
mind which

really isn't that smart
and lies to itself...cal it
"Max-turbation" if you
must and mock my overreaction to you

whatever... someday
someone will get to you
in a way that makes you

think twice about spewing
idiocy in a public square
and in private to
embarass you

i wonder how you
would respond if I were
to actually sodomize you

with my small dick?
Haiku # 38141, January 31, 2007 10:38 am ET
by Moxie
I'm so pissed off
about that guy, I don't
care what I say

or the consequences
even if there are
real life ones
Haiku # 38140, January 31, 2007 10:33 am ET
by Mox
people are told to
ignore the idiot, that piece
of doo that points the

finger at others to hide
his own insecurities, mocks
provokes, I think of

how his head would sound
saying "blah blah blah gay, ha ha!!!"
after I'd hit it a few times

with a crowbar over and over
and then would he be
so funny to himself

or in a pool of his
own blood, do shitheads
like him bleed blood

or just spew shit
everywhere like they did
in life?
Haiku # 38139, January 31, 2007 10:30 am ET
by Moxie
the classroom heckler
gets great pleasure from making
superior men and women

feel guilty for being
themselves until someone wraps
a garotte around his neck
and then it's game over

as the blood vessels
break in his eyes and one
less childish psychopath

to take dead end jobs
Haiku # 38138, January 31, 2007 10:27 am ET
by Moxie
Zabadooey's just
an idiot and likes to make
other people look

bad to make himself
feel better and I would
literally hurt the guy

maybe even kill him
Haiku # 38137, January 31, 2007 10:22 am ET
by Moxie
Tropical hill house
Ocean breeze wafts through the rooms
Why can't we go now?
Haiku # 38136, January 31, 2007 9:17 am ET
by slacktastic
Rene Russo smiles
Topless, tanning on the beach
Wish I were Brosnan
Haiku # 38135, January 31, 2007 9:08 am ET
by slacktastic
Hello. Hello. Hi
How are you? I'm fine, I'm fine
I hope you are too
Haiku # 38133, January 31, 2007 7:43 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
old as in archived
drudge it up, find it, use it
history repeats
Haiku # 38131, January 31, 2007 12:25 am ET
by peanut head with a friend mouse
From behind I stabbed
My friend in the side then I
Fucked the bloody wound
Haiku # 38130, January 30, 2007 10:47 pm ET
by Kackarott
from dollar stores old
china made calculators
lay at my old desk

purple and powered
thrown away when broken down
outsourced, no outcry
Haiku # 38129, January 30, 2007 10:38 pm ET
by Mox
like a stone thrown by
a child the water ripples
and settles, it sinks
Haiku # 38128, January 30, 2007 10:36 pm ET
by Mox
faulting dewy-eyes
thou art three-dimensional
see vespertine wind
Haiku # 38127, January 30, 2007 9:27 pm ET
by *ChildIloveyou*
At the top I've been
And now it seems I've fallen
But I'll be okay
Haiku # 38126, January 30, 2007 1:06 pm ET
by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
Returning, winds splash.
The nuns splash yet jungles work.
Truth sprouts operas.
Haiku # 38125, January 30, 2007 12:46 pm ET
by 999 Haiku
Children hate summer.
Wisely, indifference walks.
Snow sets then mud wakes.
Haiku # 38124, January 30, 2007 12:44 pm ET
by 999 Haiku
Lakes fairly break eyes.
Asses clash therefore nuns melt.
Rain bends scolding sheep.
Haiku # 38123, January 30, 2007 12:43 pm ET
by 999 Haiku
Offering, ice burns.
Priests burn landscapes yet hands slip.
A piano falls.
Haiku # 38122, January 30, 2007 12:42 pm ET
by Haiku
Clouds work or knights walk.
Bad false vampires turn an eye.
A full angel sings.
Haiku # 38121, January 30, 2007 12:42 pm ET
by 999 Haiku
aren't cool enough we
say till the second coming
the cross trumps the high

school clique, many boys
will wear their letters in hell
jackets melt to skin
Haiku # 38120, January 30, 2007 11:56 am ET
by Mox
I'm so pissed about
my real life this guy here
I
wish he was here so

I could just have an
excuse to pound the shit out of
this mindless kid, those

hackers that never grew
out of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
or being the chatroom troll
Haiku # 38119, January 30, 2007 9:58 am ET
by Mox
zab, grow up
if I can anyone can
Haiku # 38118, January 30, 2007 9:51 am ET
by Mox
I have no idea why
that poen has boobs in it
but it has boobs in it
Haiku # 38115, January 29, 2007 6:44 pm ET
by Mox
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