Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
28 Years, 60 Days and 77457 Haiku later...

Al Gore is My Man
McCain is Merely Third Rate
to Second Rate Bush
Haiku # 3525, June 12, 2000 12:56 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
I invented the
Internet. Really, I did!
Mine, I say, all mine!
Haiku # 3524, June 11, 2000 7:58 pm ET
by Al Gore of Washington,
stayin' up late at night
I see no stars in the sky
no hope in my heart
Haiku # 3523, June 11, 2000 7:45 am ET
by kyoko from Japan
sex in a bucket
fun for the fly and the fish
i am an addict
Haiku # 3522, June 11, 2000 12:31 am ET
by Nembocratious
i am the whore's friend
she eats me alive like stew
and i will rejoice
Haiku # 3521, June 11, 2000 12:29 am ET
by Nembocratious
squeegee my buttocks
burn my skin with sex and ash
girl is a pyro
Haiku # 3520, June 11, 2000 12:26 am ET
by Nembocratious
incarcerated
prisoner of the bottom line
fiscal servitude
Haiku # 3519, June 10, 2000 8:09 pm ET
by ash
sputum phlem and snot
use a tube to suck it out
it's fabulous work
Haiku # 3518, June 10, 2000 3:22 pm ET
by mount madonna mama
Tomorrow he comes
Back to where I am living
Wonder if he'll call
Haiku # 3517, June 9, 2000 8:25 pm ET
by Jane of Princeton,
Sorry about that
Don't know what came over me!
I meant no offense
Haiku # 3516, June 9, 2000 12:45 pm ET
by Haik You of Anywhere, Buthere
I censored myself
Out of respect for you all
(buncha f***ing prudes!)
Haiku # 3515, June 9, 2000 12:44 pm ET
by Haik You of Gomorrah, Gonorrhea
I know...my haiku's
All over the f***ing place
--Schizophrenia?
Haiku # 3514, June 9, 2000 12:41 pm ET
by Haik You of All Over, Thef***ingplace
Am I a pervert?
I'd like to watch Britney Spears
Eat a banana
Haiku # 3513, June 9, 2000 12:39 pm ET
by Haik You of Abu Dhabi, Africa
I'm here to waste time
And for some entertainment
And not "for art's sake"
Haiku # 3512, June 9, 2000 12:34 pm ET
by Haik You of Sodom, Promised Land
I'm bored with this site
The haiku here have become
Way too serious
Haiku # 3511, June 9, 2000 12:30 pm ET
by Haik You of Dullsville, USA
Here's an idea --
"Let's kill all the lawyers," then
Bill them for our time!
Haiku # 3510, June 9, 2000 12:28 pm ET
by Haik You of Suc Muc Dik, Vietnam
Are you ill, my friend?
What could make one want to sniff
Scum between ones toes?
Haiku # 3509, June 9, 2000 12:26 pm ET
by Haik You of Yodaville, Dagobah
to lint in my toes smells bad
Ear wax in my ears feels good
Oh my god i'm bored
Haiku # 3508, June 9, 2000 8:19 am ET
by Tommy Steele
Rain, drops of sorrow
Fresh and musty smells are new
Drip, drop, Endlessly
Haiku # 3507, June 9, 2000 8:15 am ET
by Tommy Steele
Rubber boots are fun
Splashing in giant puddles
Soaked head to toe
Haiku # 3506, June 9, 2000 8:11 am ET
by Tommy Steele
you there you tried hard
to run you used to stalk me
we render your parts
Haiku # 3505, June 8, 2000 7:27 pm ET
by basho-elgrande
paper or plastic
paper or plastic paper
or plastic paper or.... choose!
Haiku # 3504, June 8, 2000 6:57 pm ET
by basho-matique
My jeanshorts get stressed
By the thoughts of a woman
"Thumbing" for a ride
Haiku # 3503, June 8, 2000 5:17 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Our Forefathers fought
Struggled, and some of them died
For their kids future

Today we henpeck,
Complicating ev'rything
Why don't we just breathe
Haiku # 3502, June 8, 2000 5:13 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
My son says I have
Earlucinations when I
Hear Things! He is 5

Kids say the darndest
Most extraordinary Things
They are why I Live
Haiku # 3501, June 8, 2000 5:09 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
Sediment Layers
Tell of such great histories
But Layers must Lay
Haiku # 3500, June 8, 2000 5:01 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
An ode to the old
Ken, Ash, Shag, Scrunt, Gramp and Bon
Thou Art was true Art
Haiku # 3499, June 8, 2000 4:59 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
The old wind smells sweet,
Unlike the fowl artless waft
That churns o'er this site.
Haiku # 3498, June 8, 2000 4:56 pm ET
by Scott of Alton,
I hate it when peo-
Ple break up their words and phra-
ses between their lines
Haiku # 3497, June 8, 2000 1:56 pm ET
by Haik You of Same ol', Meol'
The secret to it --
Writing the best bad haiku
Is simplicity
Haiku # 3496, June 8, 2000 1:53 pm ET
by Haik You of ya know, Imperialism Central
If you don't like it
Haul your fat ass out of here
Bother someone else
Haiku # 3495, June 8, 2000 1:49 pm ET
by Haik You of San Francisco, USA
There really are a
lot of sick twisted puppies
posting this feces.
Haiku # 3494, June 7, 2000 1:18 pm ET
by katMandon't of Scottsdale,
winter's icy grip
freezing fingers in thin gloves
on the handlebars
Haiku # 3493, June 7, 2000 5:11 am ET
by ash
they resealed my floor
inhaling toxic solvents
estapol junkies
Haiku # 3492, June 7, 2000 5:07 am ET
by ash
First, five syllables
Then seven syllables more
One last syllable
Haiku # 3491, June 6, 2000 4:14 pm ET
by Bob Cromwell of West Lafayette, USA
Little wet raindrops,
Knocking on my windowpane,
Hoping to get in.
Haiku # 3490, June 6, 2000 3:08 pm ET
by D. Longrie-Kline of St. Paul, USA
3 strikes you are out
man with 4 balls walks to first
i doubt he can run
Haiku # 3489, June 6, 2000 2:08 pm ET
by IVA BIGGN of CATATONIC,
That grass smells funny,
I think I'll pee over there
Dogs must live hard lives.
Haiku # 3488, June 6, 2000 8:59 am ET
by Hampton the wonder Sphagnum
I keep getting stuck
have to use fillers, like, um
well, something like this
Haiku # 3487, June 6, 2000 8:53 am ET
by Henderson the wonder Sprocket
bad people have names
longer than other workers
"security guard"
Haiku # 3486, June 6, 2000 8:44 am ET
by Homer the wonder Sparkle
little smelly pig
rolling round your muddy pen
i like your pork chops
Haiku # 3485, June 6, 2000 8:39 am ET
by herbert the wonder splake
two pokes of my stick
make you magically become
poked by my stick, fool!
Haiku # 3484, June 6, 2000 8:37 am ET
by harvey the wonder skink
the first poem stinks
i try, but worse is the lame
justification
Haiku # 3483, June 6, 2000 8:30 am ET
by five syllable words!
haiku wrote too fast
misspelled, didn't count oh no
must do better now
Haiku # 3482, June 5, 2000 8:11 pm ET
by Tim of Largo,
cheez-it white cheddar
crisp crunchy tast good too
powder on fingers
Haiku # 3481, June 5, 2000 7:42 pm ET
by tim of largo,
cheez-it white cheddar
crisp crunchy tast good too
powder on fingers
Haiku # 3480, June 5, 2000 7:42 pm ET
by tim of largo,
Democrat Party
is eating my life quickly
two thousand one soon?
Haiku # 3479, June 5, 2000 2:27 pm ET
by Virginia Dem
Horny, drinking Jolt
Keep your penis in your pants
You headless chicken.
Haiku # 3478, June 2, 2000 12:57 pm ET
by Baba O'Reilly of Bluffton,
Finger amputees.
When they try to write haiku
They can't count sylla
Haiku # 3477, June 2, 2000 10:53 am ET
by Ready! Set! Haiku!
Haiku spreads weirdness.
Counting beats gives bad art name.
Heard of Dada? See?
Haiku # 3476, June 2, 2000 10:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
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