sir alec guiness
you are wise, venerable
old ben kenobi

numbers hurt my head
calculus gives me migraines
5-7-5.........OUCH!

I really like pez
i collect the dispencers
dont make fun of me

hey, heres a lesson
kids: stay in school, dont do drugs
thank you very much

you know those tech decks?
god i hate those things
break your damn fingers

you know those tech decks?
god i hate those things

you know those tech decks?
god i hate those things

if i had a dime
everytime i spent one
i would break even

ode to the mullet
tis the hairstyle of the gods
flowing and sweeping

Hello Hello Hi
Just wanted to say hello
Now it is goodbye

oOe oOe oOe oOe oOe
vvv i vvv i vvv i vvv
cCe cCe cCe cCe cCe

SWEETHEART? HEY, IT'S DUNG
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
OH, NO, THAT'S OKAY

IF HERE'S BAD THERE'S WORSE
JESUS HAIKU GESTAPO
TRASHED MY THREE GOOD WORKS

He said my wife was
corny: I did not know she
had shat in his mouth.

lazy mountain dew,
glistenin' in the sunlight -
early morning dawn.

haiku or senryu
two-three-two or three-five-three
or just five-seven-five

utter aloneness
Heideger Kafka and Sartre
existential angst

Matt's got a boner
His girlfriend's left him alone
up.....down......goes his hand

ashley jones, I see
was it the poet's corner?
yes, i remember

toot's just like a toke
so go ahead and burn 'er
inhale then exhale!

my marketing coup:
foil wrapped chocolate jesus christ
with big bunny ears

put shit on who's face
you ha'no idea boy
eat your excrements

it's great to b'back
ina place w're there's no tact
our very own site

misty dragonsmoke
chasin down the rollin stone
on a silver lane

Tony's Scarborough:
European or Asian -
they have them all!

Ice, Booze n Women
Burrito Breaths and Gangwars
City of Angels

jittery juttin
seeds achin fur sum sputtin
a hut female's mouth

We ate fish and chips
On a sunlit afternoon
Later: bellyache

IM WATCHING TV
THINKING, I'D FUCK ALL THEM BROADS
THE WIFE SAYS SOMETHING

DUNG FU KARATE
THROW MY FECES IN YOUR FACE
AND SWEEP OUT YOUR LEGS

I STAND WITH ONE FIST
FIRMLY UP MOTHER NATURE'S
HAIRY HIPPIE COOZE

I'M YOUR UNCLE DUNG
I CRAP IN ABOVE GROUND POOLS
EVERY CHANCE I GET

YOU SMEARED YOUR RED MOUTH
ON MY ZEPPELIN T-SHIRT
I WAS ON ACID

the more crap i buy
the more crowded my house gets
so old crap i chuck

god's own monster truck
satan's bazooka roaring
ninja apostles

leprechaun squadron
climbs down into my pee-hole
excrutiating

I'm stuck in London
My car has broken all down
Waiting for a ride

see the market swing
watch the panic in the streets
hear the suits gasping

testing testing test
will the haiku submit work
or not? Let us see.

Monkeys are the bomb
They like to eat bananas
But a lot have AIDS

Monkeys are the bomb
They like to eat bananas
But a lot have AIDS

i like to give head
my boyfriend he enjoys it
he has a big dick

There once was this test
It was called the damn M CAS
To show our dumbness

you''re douche-a-RICKfic
jumbling douche in your mouth
do not be afraid!

oh hostess janis
salutations from down here
where''s that damn bonfire ?

Drugs, Fun, Drugs, Fun, Drugs
The perputual cycles
Of Life continue

the water is sweet
by the river side
but die die die die!!!!!!!!!

ah bureaucracy....
would not notice shit stinking
undocumented

little haiku slaves
hunching over their keyboards
seeking ugliness