Image consultants:
First on execution list.
Clients thereafter.

PCP is fun.
Naked rampages galore.
Make for front page gore.

if i was in space
i'd wait for the next bus home
not cross my fingers

it's late in winter
windswell is starting to build
the air is icy

my heart's not in it
so I think I'll skip the walk
just eat more saos

time for a sao
with vegimite and butter
then go for a walk

Fried poultry tastes good.
Next surgical procedure:
Angioplasty.

"I think that's bullshit!"
Robert Novak fled the set.
Give him a diaper.

The Perry Bible
has me throwing my body
up against the screen

Best comic ever!
Zero hyperbole here.
I am smitten, too.

I am love stricken
with all that is, and could be
unicorn power!

Misunderstanding
A haiku prerequisite
Now for a coffee

your hexameter
exceeds the parameter
of rank amateur

snuppy the puppy
south koreans clone a dog
but what's he taste like ?

Shite in handbasket.
Delete "Note" from previous.
Extra syllable.

A final remark
Note ABC, ABC scheme
In preceding rhymes

I, ignoramus
Gamboling off into sleep
Herein, I surcease

Itching 'pon anus
Index finger rammeth deep
Endorphine release

seeking forgiveness
embracing some contrition
dammit, let us sing!

Ash is my hero
Janis, my inspiration
I, my enemy

Lame frivolity
Misunderstood yet again
Being facetious

Except that all mine
Belong to a third party;
Deal with the devil

Haiku are all owned
By their respective authors
I think that's the law

you're an aerosol
to keep us a particle
how unattractive

Poetic license
A synthetic point of view
Surreal abstraction

Microwave burgers
Ransacking GI system
2 many concerns

Pardon my claim to
Property Intellect'll
Protecting estate

I hereby affix
Retroactive copyright
To all Maestro pomes

Bitten on the ass
such a sneaky garden snake
gotcha with the hoe

The bowl in my fridge,
back of the bottom shelf,
is now sentient

Someone's been naughty
behind the shed I have found
five hacked-off fingers

Haiku addiction
Japanese verse in my blood
Must get on with stuff

Repeated haiku
Due to computer error
Sorry about that

Aircon is humming
The only noise I can hear
Where is everyone?

Aircon is humming
The only noise I can hear
Where is everyone?

Cutting newspaper
Black ink all over the place
I should wash my hands

Poetry workshop
Not a lot of ideas
This website is great

listen closely now
there's nothing at all to say
but that won't stop me

Awoke to chirping
Malevolence unbridled
Homicidal spree

Rotting bananas
Rancid bacon, molding bread
What's for breakfast, dear?

Fetid skidmarks stain
Briefs of influential men
Tarnishing pretense

that's not a haiku
you have murdered an art form
you're all gonna die

A family in the forest
Parents smiling, children laughing
They were identified with dental records

bugmenot dot com
because as their site tells us
common sense isn't

submarine humour
why was the ocean bed wet ?
because the sea weed

nothing seems to swell
in spite of flat sea sucking
like an undertow

like public transport
for a while there's none at all
then three come at once

aroma of flesh
the sizzle of meat frying
carnivoracious

i'm not one to boast
but the turd i passed today
was remarkable

to be a painter
Art? or mashedpotatoes?
Critics are krew-el