The bowl in my fridge,
back of the bottom shelf,
is now sentient

Someone's been naughty
behind the shed I have found
five hacked-off fingers

Haiku addiction
Japanese verse in my blood
Must get on with stuff

Repeated haiku
Due to computer error
Sorry about that

Aircon is humming
The only noise I can hear
Where is everyone?

Aircon is humming
The only noise I can hear
Where is everyone?

Cutting newspaper
Black ink all over the place
I should wash my hands

Poetry workshop
Not a lot of ideas
This website is great

listen closely now
there's nothing at all to say
but that won't stop me

Awoke to chirping
Malevolence unbridled
Homicidal spree

Rotting bananas
Rancid bacon, molding bread
What's for breakfast, dear?

Fetid skidmarks stain
Briefs of influential men
Tarnishing pretense

that's not a haiku
you have murdered an art form
you're all gonna die

A family in the forest
Parents smiling, children laughing
They were identified with dental records

bugmenot dot com
because as their site tells us
common sense isn't

submarine humour
why was the ocean bed wet ?
because the sea weed

nothing seems to swell
in spite of flat sea sucking
like an undertow

like public transport
for a while there's none at all
then three come at once

aroma of flesh
the sizzle of meat frying
carnivoracious

i'm not one to boast
but the turd i passed today
was remarkable

to be a painter
Art? or mashedpotatoes?
Critics are krew-el

I really don't care
What the Commander thinks when
I got drunk an laid

Told the Commander
Was beat up by aliens
With really big cocks

Space beer is good when
Your hooker leaves forgetting
To collect (hic, buuurrrp)

Traded rocket ship
For two space beers plus hooker
Commander was mad

Fuck the lot of it!
Amusing? No, comical.
Damn, I surrender.

Satisfy each urge.
Perish the consequences.
Ah, hedonism.

Composing a list
Of blithering idiots.
Ah, moronicide!

My little white mouse
made a warm fuzzy nest out
of grey, plucked cat hair

A derelict hull
a ship long forgotten, left
drifting through deep space

A curled up milky
way, a mouse's dreams stumble
upon space travel

Small rodent ahead
of his time, thinking slightly
beyond his moment

My little white mouse
made a warm fuzzy nest out
of hair from our cats

Bunny rabbits and
guinea pigs are capable
of chewing through steel

enclosed guinea pigs
random scorched earth rectangles
move the cage again

Not feeling prolix,
I meander towards the rack.
Puddle of vomit.

Haiku are ideal
For attention deficits.
I am overdrawn.

Nude in a cornfield
Eating a savory cob:
From the AP wire

a crack of the bat
also a crack of the ass
i hate baseball games

Lycra bodysuit
Aerodynamic helmet
Racewalking champion

I hate doing that
flicking ash in fresh coffee
he hates it as well

seventeen hundred
pink sunset fires are lit
saddest time of day

Doc shook his head, said
"Superior Labral Tear".
What the fuck is that??

This I am sure of
Freddie Mecury did fuck
Tougher guys than me

At Paradise Park
Adults would skim for drowners
My youth was creepy

My knee hurts and it
is not very poetic
for a haiku

Screw erudition!
Henceforth, imbecility.
Lobotomy, please.

It occurs to me,
I'm a cur with many tomes.
Au Courant? No, no.

Eigentum des Ichs.
Will to Power over all.
A conquering Geist.

King Solomon's claim:
'Tis all so very hackneyed;
Beneath sun, naught new.