Told the Commander
Was beat up by aliens
With really big cocks

Space beer is good when
Your hooker leaves forgetting
To collect (hic, buuurrrp)

Traded rocket ship
For two space beers plus hooker
Commander was mad

Fuck the lot of it!
Amusing? No, comical.
Damn, I surrender.

Satisfy each urge.
Perish the consequences.
Ah, hedonism.

Composing a list
Of blithering idiots.
Ah, moronicide!

My little white mouse
made a warm fuzzy nest out
of grey, plucked cat hair

A derelict hull
a ship long forgotten, left
drifting through deep space

A curled up milky
way, a mouse's dreams stumble
upon space travel

Small rodent ahead
of his time, thinking slightly
beyond his moment

My little white mouse
made a warm fuzzy nest out
of hair from our cats

Bunny rabbits and
guinea pigs are capable
of chewing through steel

enclosed guinea pigs
random scorched earth rectangles
move the cage again

Not feeling prolix,
I meander towards the rack.
Puddle of vomit.

Haiku are ideal
For attention deficits.
I am overdrawn.

Nude in a cornfield
Eating a savory cob:
From the AP wire

a crack of the bat
also a crack of the ass
i hate baseball games

Lycra bodysuit
Aerodynamic helmet
Racewalking champion

I hate doing that
flicking ash in fresh coffee
he hates it as well

seventeen hundred
pink sunset fires are lit
saddest time of day

Doc shook his head, said
"Superior Labral Tear".
What the fuck is that??

This I am sure of
Freddie Mecury did fuck
Tougher guys than me

At Paradise Park
Adults would skim for drowners
My youth was creepy

My knee hurts and it
is not very poetic
for a haiku

Screw erudition!
Henceforth, imbecility.
Lobotomy, please.

It occurs to me,
I'm a cur with many tomes.
Au Courant? No, no.

Eigentum des Ichs.
Will to Power over all.
A conquering Geist.

King Solomon's claim:
'Tis all so very hackneyed;
Beneath sun, naught new.

fluffy brown blanket
clicking knitting needles blur
two furry balls left

Some blueberry pie
is coyly glancing at some
vanilla ice cream

Olfactory mire
Awakened by flatulence
Good morning, pungence

I'm a lad insane
Bowie's knife within my brain
Lame-ass allusions

not all things change fast
but that's not really the point
everything changes

my dial up is slow
it takes forever to load
one hundred haiku

Climbing green bean bush
is growing many green beans
atop the roses

I began to sweat
and feel regret towards the
swallowed ninja star

My cheek is pressed flat
down upon the fragrant earth
and warm baked cement

With a single click
a vision so horrible
you will turn vegan

my neck fucking hurts
i bet in a past lifetime
someone punched my neck

travis bickle's sad
iris ran away again
her and sport have kids

an old catcher's mitt
holding a steak and cheese sub
the horrors of porn

lois lane's pinkie
sheared off in one angry snap
superman's asshole

Sour is the cream
The coffee coagulates
And is discarded

My brain needs coffee
like those big yellow hummers
need their gasoline

Rattling of keys
Shattering my synapses
Begging my leave, please.

Gymnosophist, noun:
A naked philosopher;
Practicing nudist.

All naked sprinting
Seems most newsworthy to me
Gymnosophistry!

Finished with 'script drugs
A Sharpie revolution
Inspiring, LeBomb

shiny silver fish
devouring everything
eating all my words

lazing on the grass
a warm winter's afternoon
the seasons slip by