feeling so stupid,
forgetting to sign my work,
well, maybe this time

Five dollar cover,
kids under 6 get in free,
Drugs at big dicounts!

i'm selling crack rock,
an all-drug liquidation!
this Sunday, "THESE DRUGS MUST GO!"

after the torrents
the desert that was my yard
sprouts like a jungle

tonight bitter wind
bends branches against windows
backwards and forwards

daylight lengthening
impatiently I'm waiting
warming from the sun

here where it's just six
(that's degrees, not time of day)
hot-tub warms me toes

unavoidably
a metre of white water
tosses me backwards

churning salty sand
tingling bubbles of white foam
intertidal spa

Spasms of pleasure
They explode inside my mind
As I grab your leg

I watch as you sit
Face skewed in concentration
Hey! I drink from that

no money for me
planning for a trip in may...
must sell some crack rock

very eloquent
kris kross and vanilla ice
word to your mother

moo moo buckaroo
said the fat white cow to me
face...paint by numbers

german assignment
hard to do with a partner...
never comes to class

icey weather comes
texans cannot drive in this...
all cars in a ditch

i wish i could dance
the funky caucasian stinks
frog in a blender...

dirty haiku stinks
if i wanted this garbage
i'd watch spice channel

She comes to my room
She lays down upon my bed
"This room is dirty."

This jibber jabber
May be awful but it makes
For some bad haiku

And my bath pillow
Used to have a huge penis
Until I took it?

Your penis is what?
There's no need to tell me this!
Just shut up now fool!

Have sex with rabbits?
An interesting thought that
But it's rather sick

And my bath pillow
Should have a penis he says
It's a bath pillow
(fool, it appears in his fantasies too)

His fantasies strange
Involving me with his girl
He has a new one

The lady wants him
But he's not interested
And they still go out
(fool)

The golden monkey!!!
And in a children's programme!?
How can they show this?

It'll cost me what?
And that's just for the oral?
Is it any good?

That's a big needle!
What do you use it for then?
You put it in where?

Paris loses it
on C-Span, really is a
bad week for the French

times I was a tree
spreading my arms~as you were
a cloud passing through

Tangled up in cheer
I flew down this happy street
your hand upon mine

You want to come in?
You want to remove your clothes?
And then you want to...

My kitten's gotta
whip...and all I got is this
ball of yarn, what's wrong?

the distractions
of the meat wheel of this life
create new life feeds

hmm, sex

Leather, tight and black
A whip cracks, the pain lasts long
It is my reward

Rumbling beneath my
leather, it pulls at my hair,
pulls me into flight

bend me over my
hot little computer for
cyber orgasm

be my fuck buddy
id love to teach you how to
fuck like a rockstar

french ticklers are not
an instrument of evil
please folks dont ban them

maybe bush needs to
get laid by some hardcore punk
and then he will feel

is your penis large?
if so please fuck me right now
then smile afterward

Is it all about
Beef Testosteroni and
Estrogen Tonics?

I can't tell Jane that
she tells us big hands big twat
measure of friendship

I sink like a stone
In your sea of vanity
And you don't see me.

i think it's a myth
regarding midline structures
though my feet ARE big

i have a big nose
and so do i
bi-nasal introduction

Is this haiku porn?
I'll have to change my style then
"Ohhh, that's such a big..."

near one hundred dead
nightclub owners SO guilty
crim'nal negligence