Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 357 Days and 77342 Haiku later...

Yay it`s Hallowe`en!
Pass me that bowl of sweeties
And the Valium.
Haiku # 2506, October 31, 1999 5:45 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I just met a man
Whose fingers smelled of kebabs,
Or so he told me.
Haiku # 2505, October 31, 1999 5:36 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Your epiglottis,
Your globus hystericus
Moves. Is something wrong?
Haiku # 2504, October 31, 1999 5:32 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
My favourite tree
Dropped all its leaves yesterday.
My favourite tree.
Haiku # 2503, October 31, 1999 5:28 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
The hours trundle past
Like those clubland refugees
In the toilet queue.
Haiku # 2502, October 31, 1999 5:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
The clocks have gone back.
But where on Earth have they gone?
Where? Clock Ibiza?
Haiku # 2501, October 31, 1999 5:20 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
genshi bakudan!
such a justification.
such a price. who paid?
Haiku # 2500, October 30, 1999 10:05 pm ET
by dharmacop of fenton, usa
You haven''t been born
until you get out of town
and see where you''re from
Haiku # 2499, October 30, 1999 9:19 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
UMPIRES ROBBED US
THE RED SOX ARE THE REAL CHAMPS!!!
THE YANKEES SUCK DICK
Haiku # 2498, October 29, 1999 6:12 pm ET
by RED SOX FAN
Rock n Roll Pete, why?
You spineless cape living dink
Rock no more pee teeth!
Haiku # 2497, October 29, 1999 2:25 pm ET
by Kackarott
Black and White Snuggler
"Momma, Momma, let''s hug him!!"
Grinning like a shark

"Be Careful, Brittney"
Rolled over, soft tummy up
"I''ll give him a rub!!"

Rending claws gouge flesh
Hot salty blood courses out
Gurgles quietl
Haiku # 2496, October 29, 1999 9:31 am ET
by Fruity of Oakland,
Haiku # 2495, October 29, 1999 12:29 am ET
by g fresh
i hate you and me!
i hope you all die blood and hate
kill myself real dead

that last haiku was
an example of what''s wrong
and furthermore, why.

painting schniz is nice
its better than eating rice
and even kills lice.
Haiku # 2494, October 29, 1999 12:06 am ET
by oldnasty
working all day long
really isn''t all that bad
or else there''s trouble
Haiku # 2493, October 28, 1999 11:59 pm ET
by oldnasty
you can trust me ma''am
i am a professional
let me paint your snatch
Haiku # 2492, October 28, 1999 11:57 pm ET
by Thunder Stork
stan Lee the poet
code books and calculators
superfreaky shit
Haiku # 2491, October 28, 1999 11:53 pm ET
by oldnasty
Bonnie''s Haiku

The fantastic house
It went to the wrong person
Hope the bitch dies quickly
Haiku # 2490, October 28, 1999 9:55 pm ET
by Joe Bagodonuts of Buffalo, USA
Too much abstraction
can give a person headaches.
Art class fried my brain.
Haiku # 2489, October 28, 1999 7:03 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood
Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood...Blood
I live in a box.
Haiku # 2488, October 28, 1999 7:02 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
People Are Stupid
that`s why I despise you all
and wish you would die
Haiku # 2487, October 28, 1999 6:58 pm ET
by Ben Allinger
Ben is making a
web page about mind control,
and why he likes it.
Haiku # 2486, October 28, 1999 6:54 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
log in: dragon_snail
password: accessible
log in incorrect.
Haiku # 2485, October 28, 1999 6:39 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Teabag Grampystein
Stained eye,lifeless corpse, HE''S DEAD
Coffee table is thrown
Haiku # 2484, October 28, 1999 10:31 am ET
by Kackarott
Thinking about buying a home that''s fantastic
Not on your life if Bonnie is jealous of you
Until a contract is signed, is a house legally yours to move in.
Counting the days until the floors submit
Haiku # 2483, October 27, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Joe Bagodonuts of Buffalo, USA


I''LL SEE YOU IN HELL

AND I''LL BE THERE TO TURN UP

THE HEAT, YOU ASSHOLE




Haiku # 2482, October 27, 1999 8:32 pm ET
by Stanlee, you dumbass dickweed
hey how''s it going?
would you like some bubble gum?
fuck you then ASSHOLE!
Haiku # 2481, October 27, 1999 6:38 pm ET
by oldnasty
Went to the movies
We saw old Tesio die
Kelley had to cry
Haiku # 2480, October 27, 1999 6:22 pm ET
by HaiPoo
New Sheriff in town
Brown and nasty as they come
FREEZE! hold on stevie...
Haiku # 2479, October 27, 1999 4:58 pm ET
by Kackarott
evil scientist
hates cornelious, zira
shoots ape baby dead!
Haiku # 2478, October 27, 1999 4:53 pm ET
by Kackarott
Albino snowman
No time to be creative
Change your phone message!
Haiku # 2477, October 27, 1999 4:48 pm ET
by Kackarott
there were a few dogs
people confused them with hogs
on shoes they found logs
Haiku # 2476, October 27, 1999 4:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Ahhh.....the Ash man speaks true.
All this talk of sex and pooh
makes our haiku blue.
Haiku # 2475, October 27, 1999 2:32 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
Denver dislikes bums
No money, scamming for beer
Bloody, caved in heads
Haiku # 2474, October 27, 1999 11:31 am ET
by eroc
You like the omelette?
I made it all by myself,
And with my own eggs.
Haiku # 2473, October 27, 1999 7:49 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Spiky horse chestnuts
Trodden into the path like
Little squashed hedgehogs.
Haiku # 2472, October 27, 1999 7:46 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
when haiku was young
it was oft gentle and sweet
not genital sweat
Haiku # 2471, October 27, 1999 3:36 am ET
by ash
Not really, Kat, were
you trying? I`d like to hear
something romantic.
Haiku # 2470, October 27, 1999 12:03 am ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Up to no good, as
usual. Do I make you
horny, Kimberly?
Haiku # 2469, October 26, 1999 11:56 pm ET
by Kat Krotch
Hey, Kat. I see you
too. Are you being vulgar
and evil again?
Haiku # 2468, October 26, 1999 11:55 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Hello Kimberly,
I know where you are right now.
I see you typing.
Haiku # 2467, October 26, 1999 11:53 pm ET
by Kat Krotch
Lady with soft breasts,
smooth and pale, I take the moist,
pink tunnel through you.
Haiku # 2466, October 26, 1999 11:47 pm ET
by Kat Krotch
Bend me over your
knee and slide a vibrator
deep inside my ass.
Haiku # 2465, October 26, 1999 11:38 pm ET
by Kat Krotch
The soft light on his
arm brings beauty to those dark
moles where long hairs grow.
Haiku # 2464, October 26, 1999 11:36 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Thunder Stork, I doubt
your head would fit up my ass.
Thanks for the offer.
Haiku # 2463, October 26, 1999 11:33 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Ben sat in the chair
I built, listening to my
Paul Simon records.
Haiku # 2462, October 26, 1999 11:26 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Its insomnia
All night at the computer
More dirty porn please
Haiku # 2461, October 26, 1999 7:50 pm ET
by HaiPoo
Whenever I dream,
it''s always of her soft hands
getting to know me.
Haiku # 2460, October 26, 1999 5:30 pm ET
by SHAGGYDOO
He said it was love
when he put his hands on me.
I thought it was love.
Haiku # 2459, October 26, 1999 5:27 pm ET
by Julie
When I was a child
My uncle used to touch me.
Should I tell a cop?
Haiku # 2458, October 26, 1999 5:25 pm ET
by Julie
Not steeped...stewed,maybe
nastiness ''slike bouillabaisse
plain delicious
Haiku # 2457, October 26, 1999 5:08 pm ET
by oldnasty
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