Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 357 Days and 77342 Haiku later...

Vanse was a good mouse
who died when I left her with
neighbors. Cheer up, Kim.
Haiku # 2410, October 24, 1999 5:20 pm ET
by Kat-Krotch
I miss Piper. The
sweetest rat who ever lived
died from loving me.

Pink nose, white whiskers,
that soft little tongue, licking
at my fingertips.

I loved the scaly
tail, the curly blue spot on
his forehead, pink toes.
<
Haiku # 2409, October 24, 1999 5:13 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Here''s my dilemma:
I''m sick of being alive;
I don''t want to die.
Haiku # 2408, October 24, 1999 5:01 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Hey, Angel, I''m a
philosophy minor, so
don''t insult the stuff.
Haiku # 2407, October 24, 1999 4:56 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
don''t smoke the reefer!!
eat it instead, tastes better
doesn''t hurt the lungs
Haiku # 2406, October 24, 1999 4:48 pm ET
by angel
philosophy is
bullshit to make us feel grand
lacking intellect
Haiku # 2405, October 24, 1999 4:48 pm ET
by angel
birds sweetly singing
sound resounds through the morning
twelve birds, ten bullets
Haiku # 2404, October 24, 1999 4:47 pm ET
by angel
why this obsession
with massive fornication?
go save the world boy
Haiku # 2403, October 24, 1999 4:45 pm ET
by angel
insanity me
one good phrase in this pile
look for me insane
Haiku # 2402, October 24, 1999 4:44 pm ET
by angel
really, rugburn sucks
and lube gets on the carpet
more trouble than fun
Haiku # 2401, October 24, 1999 4:43 pm ET
by angel
When will that sweet young
man notice that I am real?
I need convincing.
Haiku # 2400, October 24, 1999 4:40 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
gurgle gurgle snarf
razzle smack hummer dingdong
careful of rug burn
Haiku # 2399, October 24, 1999 4:38 pm ET
by angel
I wonder what it
must feel like, waking beside
someone who loves you.
Haiku # 2398, October 24, 1999 4:37 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
hard-ass militant
girly-girl with a nice chest
which is really me?
Haiku # 2397, October 24, 1999 4:37 pm ET
by angel
i love my friend kim
like i love my fav''rite bear
i am not this nice
Haiku # 2396, October 24, 1999 4:36 pm ET
by angel
Angel the red haired
vixen twists in her chair as
we laugh together.
Haiku # 2395, October 24, 1999 4:35 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
brown hair and strong arms
sweetest smile and big brown eyes
that i''ll never have
Haiku # 2394, October 24, 1999 4:35 pm ET
by weaselgirl
sentimental shit
gets me on my softer side
fuck relationships
Haiku # 2393, October 24, 1999 4:34 pm ET
by angel
I like hairy legs:
The soft feeling against my
sheets as I move them.
Haiku # 2392, October 24, 1999 4:32 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
i''m not vindictive
i swear, it''s all good clean fun
death is not a sport
Haiku # 2391, October 24, 1999 4:32 pm ET
by angel
smiley emily
not any of the nice ones
she deserves to die
Haiku # 2390, October 24, 1999 4:31 pm ET
by angel
foreign girls are fun
and yes they do shave their legs
but i''m still hairy
Haiku # 2389, October 24, 1999 4:30 pm ET
by angel
Proud of my morals,
Virginity is a rare
and precious treasure.
Haiku # 2388, October 24, 1999 4:30 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
sex! yes it is fun
but too much can be too much
just finish dammit!
Haiku # 2387, October 24, 1999 4:29 pm ET
by angel
If I could have one
wish, then Janet would have been
aborted, for sure.
Haiku # 2386, October 24, 1999 4:28 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
comic book treaties
and fictional combat scenes
leech the intellect
Haiku # 2385, October 24, 1999 4:28 pm ET
by angel
breathe deep alcohol
smile, glance, enjoy your youth
your liver is toast
Haiku # 2384, October 24, 1999 4:27 pm ET
by angel
emily the bitch
stabbed us in our backs today
revenge comes sweetly
Haiku # 2383, October 24, 1999 4:26 pm ET
by angel
oop, I forgot that
the word "borrow" is always
polysyllabic.
Haiku # 2382, October 24, 1999 4:25 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
dragonsnail''s not sane
dragonman''s not anyone''s-
angel''s not that pure
Haiku # 2381, October 24, 1999 4:24 pm ET
by angel
Angel is a slut
who likes to fuck at random.
Just ask Ryan B.
Haiku # 2380, October 24, 1999 4:24 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Pubic hair on his
soap, I ask if I can borrow...
shower fantasy.
Haiku # 2379, October 24, 1999 4:23 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
weasels taste furry-
take out the hair taste
and inhale deeply
Haiku # 2378, October 24, 1999 4:22 pm ET
by angel
Oh clump of shit on
my front lawn, my feet slip down
into your soft warmth.
Haiku # 2377, October 24, 1999 4:16 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
sex in the shower
should be avoided by all
it is quite sticky
Haiku # 2376, October 24, 1999 4:16 pm ET
by ange
I think I might be
a Mall Santa Clause this year.
Wouldn''t that be cool?!
Haiku # 2375, October 24, 1999 3:13 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
Hops, barley, and yeast
Brewed to perfection for me
Feel like passing out
Haiku # 2374, October 24, 1999 12:37 pm ET
by HaiPoo of USA
Garlic butter drips
From my quattro formaggi
Staining my trousers
Haiku # 2373, October 24, 1999 10:24 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Cross my palm with gold;
Silver is for losers, boy.
Now then. Pick a card..
Haiku # 2372, October 24, 1999 9:40 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Shiny black vinyl
Catches the light like a whore
Catches syphillis
Haiku # 2371, October 24, 1999 8:15 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
A bamboo bending
Is strangely reminiscent
Of your underpants
Haiku # 2370, October 24, 1999 6:21 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Look hard enough and
You can see spaces between
The little spaces
Haiku # 2369, October 24, 1999 6:20 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Why does the fresh mouth
Of a brand new girl taste like
Potato crocquettes?
Haiku # 2368, October 24, 1999 6:17 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Kenneth Extension
writes some really wonderful
poetry, I think.
Haiku # 2367, October 23, 1999 11:36 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
I live in Humboldt.
My armpit hair is in braids.
I have sex with trees.
I changed my lifestyle
because I thought that I should
obey Thunder Stork.
Haiku # 2366, October 23, 1999 11:34 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
If I had a knife,
I would thrust it into my
chest and kill myself.
Haiku # 2365, October 23, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
If I could capture
you as my personal slave,
I wouldn''t want to.

I want to hunt you
and keep you running away
until you can''t breathe.

Haiku # 2364, October 23, 1999 10:13 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
When will you love me?
"When Hell has frozen over."
Shall I sell my soul?
Haiku # 2363, October 23, 1999 10:06 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
I hope people don''t
take me too seriously
when I threaten them.

I''m really too shy
to murder anybody.
I just want respect.
Haiku # 2362, October 23, 1999 10:05 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
Fear me properly,
and there will be no reason
for me to kill you.
Haiku # 2361, October 23, 1999 9:54 pm ET
by Kimberly Sowell
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