If you stick it in,
I'll wiggle around. And then,
I'll squeal with delight.

gifts of love and grace
bestowed upon the readers
of horrible prose

what kind of a gift,
is still what I cant deciede,
to buy for haiku.

twenty two more days
till bad haiku turns age 6
did you get a gift

a poet I'm not
just random acts of babble,
is what mine are called

I dont think they're bad
unique is a better word
though mine are real bad

twenty two thousand
nine hundred nine horribly
bad written haikus

its so cold outside
good nite to sit by a fire
with a real hot guy

Some internet chich?
I cant even spell my name
SOME INTERNET CHICK

His name is Daniel
he has wonderful brown eyes
they just make me melt

Monday mice droppings
upon my desk but Stella's
the real messy one!

bottle-fed baby
a faecal vesuvius
erupts violently

pas de rime donc
des cours de francais alors
ne servirons pas

I am pathetic.
For even my bad haiku
is less cute than yours.

shouting up high
flying in the air
skinless, boneless
guess what it
whould be

Gina Gina bo-
bina banana fanna...
Ah fuck, it won't fit.

Some of these are not
Even the right syllables.
What the hell, people?

eating my sandwich
i realized i had to
write a damn paper.

"Superman, please help.
"Somebody stole that guy's purse!
"...that guy had a purse!?"

Prom night was way cool,
Until I broke my wooden leg.
Aaaargh! Back to the sea.

loved that crazy cyber porn
until I noticed my Uncle Sam
looking back, just plain creepy

earn thousands per week
free money making secret
who sent these emails?

"simple home business for you"
"loose weight while you sleep"
click delete delete

amazing x-cam
online casino click here
hate those popup ads

"check out my pictures"
"refil your toner cartridge"
spam fills my inbox

close my eyes, dreaming
world's begin, and end
voodoo monkey watches, laughing

the women in the yellow wallpaper
looking at me
prevents me from eating my cookie

I first read Jane Eyre,
then compared it with Vanity Fair
got zero in the exam

chrysanthemum blooms
flowering upon stone steps
seeking autumn's sun

dark silence broken
falling on dusty pathways
late October rain

another new moon
deepest velvet sky assailed
shot with pristine light

ethereal lamp
moon is blown across the bay
leaves a silver trail

scanning bad haiku
looking for the best of bad
ignoring the smut

Act as if the whole
world depends on intentions
and know that it does.

write a bad haiku
then submit a bad haiku
read haiku at last

When night falls again
I shall embark upon you
Oops, that's the wrong hole

come she said. who me?
I said. yes, she said.
thanks for the blowjob

In the glow of screen
Hark, upon the web horizon
Pixels make no sense

Bend over and take it
Squeal like a baby chipmonk
Now bark horny frog

Whispering flowers
soothe mine aching balls
as water, flow smooth again

Your butt smells like... like...
I'm trying to remember
Oh yeah, your grandma

d'oh!

Another bad haiku
Where do all of these come from
And where do they go?

Stop fucking around
This is really serious
Art in sublime rhythm

goats do it better
just ask old bob with the grin
eating my garbage

let me lick your ass
brown is the color of love
lets get down and eat

find it in your cock
to fuck me like your gramma
biggest cock i've seen

a haiku a day
to keep crotch boogers away
Nixon sucks good cock

haiku gross me out
ten ton pussy with no hair
scary to explore...

Cock boogers and yeast
flow with the merry prankster
Rub yourself lightly