queens and rooks take turns
to duck and dive for my king
man, i suck at chess

let's hope the muse guides
me through pub quiz to a win.
After that....strip club?

to be jungian,
she is my bitch, i'm her bitch
i bitch myself out

your muse is a bitch?
Why not make the muse YOUR bitch?
I know it's in you.....

i work for my muse
she can be a bitch sometimes
for instance, today

jesus scott! post
a few bad haiku's why don't you?
How's work anyway?

the garden is fine
what i have a problem with
are the gardeners

who promised you a
garden of eden? live, die,
pity your children

Mesopotamia
A

those fucking bastards
that's all i'm really saying
those fucking bastards

a river of oil
flows through the "cradle of man"
delta omega

queen mum was pickled
in gin for much of her life,
no wonder she smiled

dick chenney's widsom:
"conservation doesn't work"
Earth First, then we leave?

once all the redwoods
have been turned into pulp
i'm guessing we're next

press in collusion
spread official confusion
right-wing illusion

bag full of death threats
bomb under the driver's seat
guilty unpunished

the FBI's lies
are going to bomb out in court
judi bari lives!

the old queen showed us
the secret to a long life:
vast amounts of dough

a useless meeting
but one thing came out of it:
loads of bad haiku!

Bad Haiku,

the newspapers can
finally drop all the crap
she's in the ground now

I said "no" to sex
and then my hubby became
just another "ex"

just say no to drugs
is about as good advice
as say no to sex

"beware the speedball!"
can you believe they have banned
dodgeball in the schools?????

beware the speedball
end up like john belushi
or river phoenix

yes and I think that
'volumizing hair-spray' says
something important

for ap's next haiku
heroin and cocaine the
cocktail of the stars

*Shakleton*

Shakelton is on
(not that it's all that great) but...
guess I'll watch the rest

candlelight and sex
afterwards this girl does sleep
like a %&*# babe

a syllable short...
i forgot to adjust for
daylight savings time

sedatives and booze:
the sleeping aid preferred by
most dead rock stars

don't forget to pee
daddy's last admonishment
before any trip

i forgot the "p"
told ya i was fuckin' drunk
it's valium, now

*G*

if not Whoopi
possibly some late night host
(maybe John Stewart)

half an hour of
sparkling entertainment
spread over four hours

Oscar at Oscars
"been standing 'round way too long
...every year gets worse."

"i love it because
it's trash" - Oscar the Grouch
he would love this site

Oscar at customs
"I have nothing to declare
except my genius."

we are all in the
gutter, but some of us are
looking at the stars

astronomical
wish upon a falling star
hope that it comes true

next week outta here
Rocky Mountains -- no subway!
(zero wampum left)

rare phenomenon
heavens above I can't wait
wappa falls for me

antihistamines
a slug of chloral hydrate
and a good lie down

mexican downers
benzodiazepinos
you can't stop at juan

Hideous infant,
Cast into this haiku world,
mox who is not mox

i am fuckin' drunk
twenty megs diazeam
to super dreamland

a half hour trip
took an hour and a half...
i got in at 3

puritanical
blue-fingered hands push our clocks
daylight saving(s) time