Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

An old newspaper
Lies on the ground, in the rain
Just getting wetter
Haiku # 1686, August 8, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I just don''t get it
What''s with these apostrophes?
There''s one too many...
Haiku # 1685, August 8, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I like Jane Fonda
I couldn''t eat all of her
But I''d make a start
Haiku # 1684, August 8, 1999 8:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I wish I could fly
In the air like an eagle
That eats small people
Haiku # 1683, August 8, 1999 8:39 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I bought new sockets
And polished up all my plugs
Big plug fun tonight!
Haiku # 1682, August 8, 1999 8:35 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Oh didnt you hear?
Apostrophes are pass
Haiku # 1681, August 8, 1999 5:24 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Oh didnt you hear?
Apostrophes are pass
Haiku # 1680, August 8, 1999 5:23 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Bastard newsagent
didn''t deliver paper
*and* he has a beard.
Haiku # 1679, August 8, 1999 5:22 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
Bastard newsagent
didn''t deliver paper
*and* he has a beard.
Haiku # 1678, August 8, 1999 5:16 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I send six haiku
to your wonderful website
oh, wait, now seven.
Haiku # 1677, August 7, 1999 8:38 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
The morning''s work done,
I retire to the bar.
Time to get hammered.
Haiku # 1676, August 7, 1999 8:37 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Curled up in a ball,
Whimpering on the sidewalk
I have no more drugs.
Haiku # 1675, August 7, 1999 8:36 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Damn punk-ass robots
Always shooting their lasers
and cramping my style.
Haiku # 1674, August 7, 1999 8:35 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Pretentious bastards!
I do all my wine tasting
from a paper bag.
Haiku # 1673, August 7, 1999 8:34 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
Passed out on the floor
Puddle of vomit my one
clue to what happened
Haiku # 1672, August 7, 1999 8:33 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
If I wrote Haiku
To describe your many charms
Could I grab your ass?
Haiku # 1671, August 7, 1999 8:32 pm ET
by Chris of Ottawa, Canada
my penis is large
my money is abundant
where are the chicks?
Haiku # 1670, August 7, 1999 4:51 pm ET
by chris
why does she IM?
she ripped my f**cking heart out
i mope always now
Haiku # 1669, August 7, 1999 4:45 pm ET
by chris
my cat''s neck and head
are flea-bitten and scabby
decapitation
Haiku # 1668, August 7, 1999 4:42 pm ET
by chris
when whisky is chugged
and pizza is inhaled, chunks
swirl counterclockwise
Haiku # 1667, August 7, 1999 4:39 pm ET
by chris
inverse investments
based on the belief that I
will be an icon

it has been my dream
and quite a wet one at that
since I was a girl

and now the fear strikes
cuz it''s time for me to, (shh)
the camera will lie

if I am
Haiku # 1666, August 5, 1999 2:22 pm ET
by kkk kate capshaw
a man is giving
me money to make him rich
my dreams are rainchecks
Haiku # 1665, August 5, 1999 2:10 pm ET
by high as a highness
Oh where oh where has
my Hollywood gone? Oh where
oh where can he be?
Haiku # 1664, August 5, 1999 9:16 am ET
by Eddie Futch
i could rule the world
if i was a lot bigger
and carried a nuke
Haiku # 1663, August 5, 1999 5:29 am ET
by ash
Good God my darling
I think that I flipped my wig
such halcyon days
Haiku # 1662, August 4, 1999 10:16 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
It has become clear
You would like to see me nude
I can understand
Haiku # 1661, August 4, 1999 10:10 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1660, August 4, 1999 10:06 pm ET
by Dr Ernest Unity
the frog runs screaming
just like a banshee in green
no one notices
Haiku # 1659, August 4, 1999 10:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I built me a raft
I might pass this way again
In life.....you don''t know
Haiku # 1658, August 4, 1999 6:07 pm ET
by Tony's Grandpa
my feet are sexy
arizona embers burn.
fried feet anyone?
Haiku # 1657, August 4, 1999 5:16 pm ET
by moo j of phoenix, gorp
I love The Big Dig
We approach a golden age
But they''ll all still whine
Haiku # 1656, August 4, 1999 1:30 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
I hope those ass holes
are through harassing OJ
He''s suffered enough
Haiku # 1655, August 4, 1999 1:23 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
take away this pain
reading reader''s digest sucks
where''s my bad Haiku??
Haiku # 1654, August 4, 1999 12:57 pm ET
by oldnasty of arcata,
Haiku # 1653, August 4, 1999 12:52 pm ET
by oldnasty
Today my job ends
Good thing I sent resumes
I''ll love my new job
Haiku # 1652, August 4, 1999 12:17 pm ET
by otaking
The neighbour''s sheepdog
has been shorn, and all its fur
is now a merkin
Haiku # 1651, August 4, 1999 9:30 am ET
by Scrunty Hardbody
I wear pink boxers
I''m not secretly gay or
Anything like that
Haiku # 1650, August 4, 1999 8:51 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
The heavy shroud
of time lies around my mind
Like a big parka
Haiku # 1649, August 4, 1999 8:49 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
When fish swim softly
No-one hears their gentle splash
Except other fish
Haiku # 1648, August 4, 1999 8:47 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
I am iron man
I''m not made from iron though
I like ironing
Haiku # 1647, August 4, 1999 8:45 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Making fresh popcorn
With a blowtorch and some oil
Where are my eyebrows?
Haiku # 1646, August 4, 1999 8:44 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
Two haikus, how queer
I only clicked the thing once
Computers are pants
Haiku # 1645, August 4, 1999 8:43 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1644, August 4, 1999 8:42 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If I touched your brain
Would you giggle or cry out?
I''ve washed my forcep...
Haiku # 1643, August 4, 1999 8:41 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
If men were machines
They''d have electronic parts
Instead of flesh ones
Haiku # 1642, August 4, 1999 8:32 am ET
by Kenneth Extension of Yuggoth
when the cold descends
where fog hangs in the valley
sit near the heater
Haiku # 1641, August 4, 1999 6:19 am ET
by ash
At John and Chuck''s place
The Lobster''s are three pounds each
You''d think it''s Heaven!
Haiku # 1640, August 4, 1999 3:50 am ET
by SHAGGYDOO
If mercy exists
and may be nobly bestowed
build me walls, oh lord
Haiku # 1639, August 3, 1999 1:42 pm ET
by Eddie Futch
Jesse and James fly
Team Rocket blasts off again
Meowth goes with them
Haiku # 1638, August 3, 1999 11:11 am ET
by Otaking
I like Pokemon
Pikachu makes me happy
So does Team Rocket
Haiku # 1637, August 3, 1999 6:56 am ET
by Otaking
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